Sweet Surrender
by siren of titan
Summary: NM-AU: Starts at the break-up scene. Edward decides to break up with Bella and leave her.She reacts in the only way she can. Can he stay away from her? Does she give him a choice? And where do they go from there? Please read and review!thanks
1. The Price for loving you

NM. Everything that happens leading up to this scene is the same, from here it goes AU. So, this is Picking up from 'you don't want me', in the woods, to be exact. The 'break-up'.

* * *

"You…don't…want…me?"

"No."

"Well, that changes things." It was a surprise to her how calm she sounded.

"Of course, I'll always love you…in a way…time to change…tired of pretending..." she could hear him go on, but the words were barely registering. They all meant the same thing. He was going. Gone.

"Don't," her voice was just a shaky whisper, then it turned pleading, as she added, "Don't do this." He stared at her blankly and she couldn't look away. It was sheer fear that kept her conscious at all. Fear that when she blinked, he would already be gone.

"You're no good for me, Bella." That registered and the cool, easy way he told her. Anger, frustration, pain, hurt ripped through her all at once, shaking away the shock.

_What did he expect me to say? See ya later, Edward. Thanks for all the memories, send me a postcard? And then he just stands there, waiting for a reply, probably gauging my breath and monitoring my heart-rate. _

She just stared at him, dark thoughts leaked slowly into her mind, trickling into her heart. She could hardly breathe. The silence must have been too much because he added, "I would like to ask one favor, though, if it's not too much?"

She wondered what he had seen on her face to make him say that. For a moment his perfectly concealed mask slipped, but before she could really identify the look, he had composed his features again.

"What?" she asked hesitantly; untrusting. She knew his favors usually cost her and there was hardly anything left of her now.

"Don't do anything reckless or stupid," he ordered, far from detached now. "Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Bella shook her head in confusion. How could she answer him? She supposed she had to be honest. It would hurt him more in the end if she wasn't.

"You can't leave me," she replied as an answer, still shaking her head.

"Bella," he called her name, as though chiding her. He gripped her shoulders to force her to stand still and look at him.

"We are leaving…tonight. You have nothing to worry about. We won't bother you ever again. It will be like we never existed. You can go on with your life without ever having to look over your shoulder; uninterrupted prosperity… But I won't leave until I know you are going to be alright. Please promise me—"

"We? Alice isn't coming back?" she asked, cutting in. She was surprised she could actually feel more pain. She felt dizzy and thought it was probably a good thing Edward was propping her up.

"No, we're all leaving. It's what's best for us. And it's what is best for you. I know you don't believe me now, but you will get over this. You'll move on and be happy again, Bella. You have such a long and wonderful life ahead of you. The pain will fade. It always does for your kind."

She laughed a hallow laugh and found it hard to catch her breath again. She had suddenly gone into hysterics. "Haven't you realized by now I'm not like most of 'my kind'?" She asked, outrageously. "You can't tell me how I feel, Edward. You really never saw how much hold you have over me. I will never get over you. I will never get passed this. It's not in my being."

"Bella, don't be absurd," he tried to sound annoyed, but inside he was coming apart at the seams. "I know this feels like the end of the world, but you're not the first to feel that way. You will be fine without me. Please, let me go."

He took a few steps back and leaned against a tree with ease. She knew it was the right thing to do, to say goodbye; to let him be free. But she couldn't let go. She knew it would be the death of her in the end, which would be worse on him, right? He always carried everything on his shoulders.

"I'm sorry, Edward," she began, crying, but she couldn't find the words.

"What are you thinking?" he asked, frustrated.

"I'm afraid to tell you."

"Why?"

"Because, no matter what I say, it will hurt you."

This small, half whispered phrase alerted him and he could hardly contain himself in that same spot.

"…If you leave me, I won't be okay. I won't…" she trailed off, looking away for a moment, "…survive it."

"Don't do this to yourself, Bella. I know you feel that way, and you think you're in love, but—"

"No, don't _you _do that! Don't pretend like I'm acting like a foolish school girl with a crush. You should have thought about this…when you _pursued_ me, for whatever reason; fascination or curiosity, or whatever it was that made you get involved with me, even for a small instant of your perfect existence. You had to realize I didn't stand a chance. The moment I saw you, my fate was already sealed to love you!" she yelled, catching her breath. She pushed off a branch and took a step closer, defying him. "…But don't you see?" she asked, unforgiving, her eyes gleaming with tears. "…This is the price, Edward... the price for loving you."

It was nearly impossible for him, to stand there and not hold her. He couldn't bare the look in her eyes. He had to stay calm and reassure her. He had to make her see reason.

"I shouldn't have been so hasty with your heart," he agreed, easing into his speech. "but one day, hopefully, you will look back and just feel content about the time we had together. People come in and out of our lives every day, and most of them don't stay for very long. But it's the things we take away with us, how they change us that we have to remember and cherish. I will always be grateful for what you have done for me."

"Is it really that terrible that you can't stay with me, just a little while longer?"

"What is the use of putting off the inevitable? It's better if we carry on with our lives as soon as possible. The longer we go on…pretending…the more time we both waste. In the end, you'll only end up regretting it. We just need a clean break."

_A clean break._ "No, Edward. I won't."

"I wish you would just believe me for once. I've been around a long time. I know how things work, how the heart operates and its okay to move on. It's good. You'll see," he said, trying to smile.

"No, Edward. I won't," she said again with more force and then softened her tone. " I meant what I said before…I won't survive this," she repeated hoping he would catch her meaning that time.

He reached for her and held her, forcefully to him, before she had even finished her thought.

"No," the word was harsh and frantic. "Think about Charlie and Rene; your family. You could never hurt them. You could never do that to Alice. She still cares deeply for you. And, me, Bella, I know I can't love you how you need, but hurting yourself? You could never do that to me. You must exist in this world, Bella. You must." He was yelling at her, in his sweet velvety tone, and she closed her eyes to the sound, breathing him in, her heart beating out of her chest at the intensity of the moment. That was when she felt herself come apart. She heard an awful tearing sound and then after a long moment realized the ripping sound was coming from herself. She was sobbing, uncontrollably, fighting for oxygen, as Edward held her tight. His embrace only made her more anxious. She was convinced the moment he let go he would disappear forever.

"I don't see an alternative," she finally spoke when she caught her breath, wiping the drying tears away. " I know its wretched. That I'm a horrible person for being capable of even the thought, but I cannot physically go on…without you. The only thing keeping me from crumbling to pieces right now is the hope that…you might stay. Renee has Phil and Charlie has lived without me before. I know I would hurt them, but they would be okay. I have to believe that. I know I'm awful. I'm not making excuses for myself...The truth is I was suppose to be dead last year, many times over now I think. The way I figure it I would just be setting things right," She looked at him, trying to collect all her remaining strength. "I'm not saying I won't try my best, but I'm just trying to be honest. I may not be strong enough and I'm sorry for that. You have no idea how sorry I am about that...But...if you..." she tried, shying from her thought. "...I need you to stay. I'm asking you to stay."

"You don't need me, Bella. You are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for."

She hesitated, wishing she could believe him. "Stay with me…not forever," she cut in quickly. She was talking in a rush; the words just poring out now, unable to control them.

"If you walk away today, trust me, I'll be dead by morning. I'm not saying that to try and guilt you into sticking around, trust me, if I thought you would walk away and never once look back, not even a thousand years from now, I would have just nodded my head earlier and told you I would be fine, but I know you," she paused and caught her breath.

"You would find out, eventually, whether it be a week from now, a year or a century…All I am asking for is for you to stay a year...or so, just till graduation. Stay here in Forks, near me, and in return I can promise you something."

"What?" he couldn't help but ask, hiding his desperation.

"If you give into my completely selfish and practically criminal request, then I promise I will let go of you, when the time comes. I will move on and never, ever hurt myself. I may not be strong enough to do it now, but knowing there is a time limit will help ease myself into the idea of existing without you."

"Bella—" he began, but she begged him with her eyes to let her continue.

"I know it's wrong of me to keep you here, but one more school year isn't the worst thing ever. One day you will hardly remember it. But I know you Edward. I know you would rather suffer one boring, idiotic school year here, than suffer a whole existence blaming yourself for some silly pathetic little girl's death. It would be agony to think you felt responsible for my actions, so please, do this to spare your own torture which if I could I would spare. I wish I was strong enough to go on, just for the sake of your peace of mind, but you're right I'm weak. I'm a weak fragile little human, who can't go on if it means never seeing you again."

"If I stay here with you till graduation, you promise to let go and move on?"

"Yes. And you don't have to pretend to be in love with me or anything. No staying with me at night or calling me your girlfriend. You don't even have to touch me. Your nights are free to do as you please, again. As long as you're here. I just need to see you, be around you, talk once in a while. I'm sure the year will fly by soon enough. Just give me a little bit of time…and promise me you won't leave without at least saying goodbye," she asked, nodding her head.

"Okay, Bella. I'll stay…until graduation as long as you make an effort to move on. But if my existence here turns out to be worse for you, then I'll have to leave, agreed?"

"Agreed," she said holding out her hand and shaking his. She tried to pull back as soon as she was able to, to show she had some restraint.

"There is one more thing, if I am staying, he said calmly. "I meant what I said; you have to make an effort to move on. Go on dates, kiss, try and fall in love again…are you sure you can handle that if I'm still around?"

"Just allow me two month to get back and then I'll do as you ask, but don't expect miracles. You can't make me fall out of love with you."

"I just need you to be open to the idea of finding it again. I need you to be happy, Bella," he told her, looking at wearily, as she bite her lip, nervously. "What is it?"

"I'm afraid. I'm afraid that you'll change your mind and vanish."

"I made you a promise and you're right. I could never live with myself if something were to happen to you. You can't allow yourself to think like that, anymore, do you hear me?"

Bella nodded her head, stepping forward, trying to find her footing once again. Her feet were weak and nearly numb, which made walking somewhat difficult.

"Let me get you back," he said pulling her along with him, his arm around her waist. She leaned into him, feeling perfectly safe. Graduation was far, far away and Edward was not leaving, not today. She leaned her head onto his chest, suddenly overcome by exhaustion. She realized she was falling asleep as he suddenly picked her up and cradled her in his arms as they reached the house. She fought slightly to stay awake, but he soothed her with reassurances and she drifted in and out as she felt her blankets come up around her.

She was exhausted but didn't want to say goodnight just yet. She didn't know if he would leave her alone that night. She said the first thing that popped into her head, the sleepiness making it come out in a mumbled mash.

"What do we do about tomorrow? Should we say we split up amicably? No one is going to believe it that though. They will clearly think you got tired of me," she tried to laugh, but then her jaw tightened at how true her statement truly was. He seemed to sense her pain, brushing her hair away from her forehead and he shifted on her bed.

"Let's tell them you called it quits…you just wanted to be friends. That way people will think you're ready to move on like we planned."

"No one is going to believe that, but fine. I said I would try and I will. Either way, it won't be the worst day ever, not now," she snorted, finally dozing off. _Not now that you're staying._

"You never did see yourself clearly, Bella," she thought she heard him murmur as darkness took over.

* * *

Hey guys! So this is a one-shot I think, but if you'd like I would totally be willing to continue. Please review, I love to hear what people think, and tell me if I should keep going, thanks!


	2. TheInBetween

**The next day:**

I woke up with a start, catching my breath, as though waking from a bad dream. Then everything set in and I remembered last night was real. I looked to the window realizing I still wasn't alone. Edward stood there, watching me with a small reassuring smile as my breathing slowed.

"You stayed…"

He nodded and then added, "Charlie came in last night to check on you. He seemed a little worried."

"Thanks."

"I'll see you at school, Bella." I just nodded, feeling too self conscious. I waited a good twenty minutes before getting up and moving. I let myself sob silently in the shower. It was the only place I felt safe now letting it all go.

*

I purposely got to school a little late, not wanting to have to deal with the havoc our breakup news would cause. When I turned the corner to first period, Alice was waiting for me.

"You must hate me," she said painfully.

"Oh, Alice. I don't have you. I love you."

She quickly threw her arms around me, apologizing again and again.

"Did he tell you everything?"

"Most of it."

"Are you mad?" she looked at me funny, like she didn't understand what I had meant.

"I'm making you stay. Everyone must be so mad at me...for what I did...what I'm doing. I hope it doesn't cause a lot of problems for Carlisle…"

"Don't be silly, Bella. No one is mad at you. In fact, Rosalie is delighted that we get to stay. And I think it goes without saying I am _so, _**so **happy about it."

"Rosalie's happy you're staying? Maybe she won't hate me so much now. And there's the silver lining I was looking for," I said sardonically. She squeezed my shoulder and ushered me into our first class.

* * *

The second I walked into the cafeteria I felt everyone's eyes turn to me. Maybe it was my imagination. I didn't look anywhere but my own destination, mostly not over at the Cullen table, where I knew he would be sitting again.

"Why is Edward sitting over there again?" Jessica asked suspiciously, low in my ear, pulling me close with her hand. The moment had come. I was prepared for this. I rehearsed it in my head. I could do this. After this, it would get easier.

"Edward and I broke up," I told her quickly, but clearly, so I wouldn't have to repeat myself. I looked up to see Angela give me an apologetic smile.

"I'm fine. It's fine," I lied as easy as I could. It was very hard not to sneak one glace at him to ease my anxiety.

"Oh…I'm sorry. That must be so awful." I didn't need Edward's ability to know what she was really thinking. She didn't sound that sorry as she said it.

_Oh, he finally came to his senses and dumped her._

Angela looked at me pityingly and told me she was sorry. I tried to shrug.

"How did it…how are you doing?" she asked, kindly.

"I'm okay, really. We just wanted different things…Let's talk about something else though, alright?"

_Different things, like he wanted to get the hell away from you and you wanted him all to yourself._ I could practically hear the words inside her head and tried to shake them out and how true they were. Alice gave my hand a soft squeeze under the table, giving me some strength, at least she hadn't abandoned me completely, not yet.

The rest of the day was kind of a blur. People all around me were giving me piteous looks or just blatantly staring. Some even told me they were sorry, as though they had done something to hurt me. Mike bugged me a little about getting together sometime that weekend, but I told him I wasn't ready for any kind of dating yet, even as 'friends.'

I knew the word would spread easily about Edward and I and about my dating decision. I just had to hold and wait for this gossip storm to pass. I didn't talk to Edward all day except to say goodbye after school on the way to my car, out of politeness of course and possibly fear; fear of what I might do to myself. I hated what I was doing so much, but I couldn't take it back. I needed him too much and was far too selfish. It was such a relief to see his face and hear his voice that those few seconds carried me into the next day.

And that was the way it went for the first couple weeks; his voice, his face, a few seconds or minutes out of the day helped get me through to the next. The trick was not thinking too far ahead.

* * *

**A month later**

"Bella, are you coming to my Halloween party?"

"Oh, hey Mike. Sorry, what was that?" I asked, realizing he was panting and out of breath. He must have run across the parking lot to see me, while I was looking for sign of a certain silver Volvo.

"My Halloween party…" he said, handing over an invitation.

"Oh, right…isn't that like two weeks away?"

"…yes," he began awkwardly, "But you know what they say…"

"Sure, Mike I'll be there."

"You'll be where?" Alice asked, coming up out of nowhere.

I showed her the invitation and she glanced at it.

"Mike's having a party," I said, stating the obvious.

"You can come too," Mike told her, trying to sound nice. "And bring your, uh, boyfriend."

"Thanks…Do you mind if I steal Bella right now, though Mike? Girl talk."

Alice twirled me around, before Mike could finish nodding his head, leading me away.

"So, a party, we have to go shopping for that. What should we be?" It seemed like ever since Edward threatened to take them away, Alice was almost even more desperate to make the most of our time together than me…almost.

"Also, Bella…" she hesitated. "I think a party would be a good time to think about, you know…getting out there."

"It's too soon, Alice."

"You don't have to marry the next guy that comes along. I just think you need to be ready and pr-active. Here," she said handing me a notebook. Her positive attitude and sureness could be adorable but so very frustrating at the same time.

"What's this?"

"I have decided to be your dating guru. Today is our first session. Inside that book is a list of potential love interests, strategies, relationship advice, the works." Her enthusiasm made my head hurt.

"Did Edward put you up to this or something?" My mind flew back to the day before and the conversation Edward and I had. We were paired together for a class assignment and he was asking me subtle questions about Charlie and Renee and life in general. I got the feeling he was trying to see if I was having anymore dark thoughts. He asked how I was sleeping, as though he knew I hadn't been sleeping well. It was off and on. Some nights I slept all the way through, while others I would wake up in a panic. He was very careful not to touch me, though I was aching to feel him. I tried not to seem in pain. My goal most days was to look happy and not completely distraught.

"Alice…as much as I love spending time with you, I think we can find better activities to do together."

"It will be better than it sounds. Think of me as your water wings. Do what I say and after a while you can swim without me."

"So, you're going to be my training wheels?" I laughed. It felt good to laugh.

"Exactly. I will take most the work out of it. You will just have to show up and smile."

I groaned, but knew I would not win this one. It was just prep work I convinced myself.

"Are you free, now?"

"No, I have to go work at Mike's parents shop till 7."

"I'll come over after." She was beaming as she walked away.

* * *

**EPOV**

"Hey, Edward, can I borrow your calc notes? I missed class yesterday." Jessica. Oh, I wish she would finally get tired of this.

"Sure, Jessica," I replied, digging them out of my bag and refocused on watching Bella through Tyler's eyes. He was asking her to be his date to Mike's party. It was driving me insane listening to these guys' thoughts about Bella. Ever since Bella told them we were done, it was like open season to them. Winning Bella had become like some kind of competition, for who could get her next, even more so than before. But I couldn't stop myself from looking in. I was glad I had an excuse to not have to leave, even if I had to ignore her. It was a relief to see her and see that she was okay, healthy and whole. But having to watch her move on. I don't know if I'm strong enough. I had to go ahead and ask Alice to help her, knowing I couldn't tell her who to date. I know I don't deserve any say in it, but it's best for Bella to move on and quickly.

So why was it such a relief for her to turn Tyler down? I should be discouraged, but Tyler doesn't deserve her anyways.

*

"Go find Bella, She in the science hallway," I told Mike, moving over to him. Uh, why Mike?

He looked at me strangely but did as I asked.

I watched as he approached her; them. I saw the relieved look in her eyes as she saw Mike coming…to her rescue. I almost put a hole in the wall, that that couldn't be me.

"Hey, Bella…?" he called, unsure. The guy hanging all over Bella, removed his arm from around her at the sound of Mike's voice.

"Think about it, Bella," he spoke to her in a slimy voice. She just looked at him disgusted, then turned to Mike and gave him the biggest, most genuine smile.

"Thanks, how did you know?" she asked, still looking pleased. I knew he wouldn't tell her I stepped in.

"I must be psychically connected to you," he joked and I clenched my knuckles, wishes I could just stop listening in. It was going to be a long existence, much less year.

I stayed with her that night. It was one of those nights I needed to be with her. I knew I couldn't let her detect me there, but I knew somehow she slept better the nights I stayed. On the nights I didn't she would come to school with dark bruises under her eyes. I knew she was trying to keep it together, but even still I could see what I was doing to her. I couldn't decide if it would be better or worse if I was just out of the picture all together. Sometimes Alice would slip and I would see images of Bella like us, only strengthening my resolve to stay away, but it was torture all the time, pretending I didn't need her. The few moments I got to see her with my own eyes or find a reason to speak to her, were the moments I lived for.

* * *

*Thanks for reading and the nice responses saying you would like to see more.

One more chapter somewhat similar to this will be added soon. I have an idea of where I'm going to take this, but couldn't just jump from point a to b, so I wanted to do some quick short scenes to move things along while not missing the gist of things and how we got there. Ummm, as for the whole Jacob thing, he's not going to really be a part of this because Bella doesn't need him like she did before. Lets say he's going through his changes and doesn't want anyone around or to know and Bella was just some girl he was crushing on but now he has better things to concern himself about/ maybe we'll see him but maybe not. I am kind of going along and skipping around a little, but may go back later and fill things in or add more in between…I feel like this chapter was kind of lacking, but it was mainly filler, so if it left you less than impressed, I'm sorry but I promise better things ahead.

Please stay tuned and again let me know what you think by leaving me a review of it! Thanks!


	3. Beware the Queen of Hearts

**One week later:**

"Prepare yourself," Alice sang in an ominous tone, after we sat down at my kitchen table. She reached out and put her hand over mine, adding to the dramatization. It was nice being able to sit with her, since Jasper got back, she had been sitting at their table now and I only saw her in class or when she came over.

I cringed, knowing she was kidding, but that the next words out of her mouth would be unpleasant.

"What?" I asked, simply, trying not to look like someone put my hand on the burner.

"Someone is going to ask you out tomorrow when you're at work. I think you should say yes."

"What do you see me actually saying, Alice?"

"Come on, Bella. Who knows this guy could be prince charming, Mr. Right and you might just let him slip away."

Yeah right. I already had prince charming and I lost him. There were no others.

"It's too soon. We said two months and it's barely been one." I was beginning to feel sick having to think about it, remembering that day was something I tried not to do.

"He seems like a nice guy and he doesn't go to school with us, so he doesn't know about…you know. When he asks you, you have to invite him to the party. It won't even be like a date, but a group thing."

"…No…no, Alice. I'm not ready."

"It would make Edward happy." She knew where to hit me where it hurt. "He wouldn't say anything, but he worries about you and if staying is really the best thing. The sooner you put yourself out there, the less anxious he will be."

I sat there silently, not wanting to give in just yet, but knowing I had to do this…for him.

"Fine…if this guy asks me and he doesn't give me a total creepy vibe, I'll invite him along, but it's not a date," I clarified.

"Not a date," she repeated, placating me, hiding her smile. "But be nice to him, Bella. He seems like a really nice guy."

I rolled my eyes and got up to get dinner started for Charlie, trying to change the subject. Part of me wished she hadn't seen anything, but part of me was glad it at least wouldn't be an ambush. Maybe if I made myself look bad tomorrow or acting funny, he wouldn't ask me…No, that isn't fair to Edward. I need to do this for him. It's the least I can do.

* * *

**3 days later**

"This is the place. This is where we'll find the perfect costumes!" Alice exclaimed, dragging me inside.

I had agreed to go shopping with her for the party. She said she already knew what I would be, but refused to tell me, insisting I try on a gazillion outfits first. I was slightly annoyed by this, but was having too much fun with her to really be put out. It was nice getting away from the school and everyone and all that drama. We never talked about graduation, but we both knew that day was there, like some foreboding deadline of bereavement.

Alice was painfully happy that I accepted, Vince's invitation, or rather that I offer him one. I tried to seem fine with the whole thing, knowing Edward would watch my reaction as Alice retold him my words. Everything I did had to be so well acted, it was utterly exhausting. I was constantly paranoid that someone was watching me or that Edward was watching in from others eyes, trying to see if I was falling apart or keeping it together. I knew I wasn't always able to fool everyone, but I think I was pulling off contentment, which was impressive in my book, seeing as I was wretchedly miserable.

I fought with the need to be around him. I fought to stop myself from calling him or stopping over. I fought to stop myself from just flinging myself at him and then I tried to even stop these thoughts for fear Alice would see and then Edward himself. I constantly had to be in complete control of myself…it was exhausting.

"Oh, Alice, that's perfect!" I cried as she came out dressed as the Queen of Hearts.

"A few accessories and the outfit will be complete I think."

"Jasper is going to love it!"

"…Oh, well, that reminds me, Jasper isn't going to be able to make it to the party. He's going out of town with the boys that weekend.

"Oh…" I said more deflated than necessary. Was I upset because Edward would be out of town? Why did it matter when I wasn't going to see him anyways? I guess I just like the idea of having him near, no matter what. I wonder where it is they will be at and what they'll be doing…

"Don't worry, Bella. I'm still going to go. It will be amazing." Then she added, handing me my up-teenth costume, "Try this one."

"…Perfect! I knew it would look stunning," she said twirling me in front of the mirror.

"Then why did you make me try on all those other ones?"

"Because it's fun, Bella. Don't tell me you didn't have the best time today."

I smiled, knowing she was right, examining myself in the mirror and my new look. Alice did have an eye for these things.

*

* * *

**Night of the Party**

I glanced in the mirror and saw Marie Antoinette staring back at me, grimacing. The doorbell rang before I could really perfect my scowl and Alice jumped up and headed for the door to let Vince inside, I think before I could change my mind or fake a seizure.

"Hey, Bella…Cool costume…you're…"

"Marie Antoinette," I cut in before it turned into an awkward silence, wondering if he had any clue or was just be polite.

"Cool. We match then," he said, and I noticed he was dressed like a prince. Prince Charming, eh, Alice. I was pretty sure she had helped him with this costume. Did she really think it was going to be that easy; create a story tale ambiance and everything would just fall into place? This night was going to be very uncomfortable, but it couldn't last forever. It could be worse, right. I mean Marie Antoinette actually had her head cut off.

*

* * *

Mike's house was ridiculously decked out in Halloween attire. His parents greeted us at the door, excited for more guests to arrive. Mike quickly came over as the gracious, totally embarrassed host and directed us inside. His parents hung around for a few more minutes and then they left for their 'date night', saying they would be back by midnight; only four more hours to go.

I tried to just blend into the group as much as possible, but Vince didn't seem to notice anyone else there. I felt uncomfortable, but more so, I just felt bad for him. I knew he was a nice cute guy, but there was just nothing there. I couldn't talk myself into liking him. But I tried to give it my best effort and put on another show.

"This party is getting lame. Let's do something!" Tyler yelled.

"I know!" This time Jessica spoke up, a mischievous grin on her face. "Truth…or…dare."

I literally groaned and tried to escape.

"Hey, Bella."

I turned around to see Jacob Black, coming toward me with one of his friends, they were dressed like werewolves.

"Nice costume."

"Thanks, you too Jake. What are you doing here?"

"Paul's girlfriend is friends with the host, so I tagged along," he said gesturing to his friend next to him.

"Oh, do you remember Alice?" I asked, grabbing her hand and pulling her near.

"Ooh, what's that…smell? You guys really go all out with your costumes." She said, crinkling her nose. We all looked at her strangely. I had no idea what she was smelling, but she was super human.

"Excuse me?" Paul asked, sounding very offended.

"Paul…she's Alice Cullen," Jake told him, suddenly sounding very serious. Somehow I knew that he knew and I was instantly panicking inside. My panic increased when Paul suddenly flashed a dark look toward her.

"Cool it, Paul. We have the treaty. She hasn't done anything wrong—"

"Yet."

"Can you two keep it together for the night? I'll play nice, if you do," Alice replied, clearly annoyed.

"She has a point. You need to keep it together. You can't go flying off the handle with all these people around," Jake told him, causing him to make an angry face and then turn and walk away.

"He'll be fine…"

"Jake, what's going on…how do you…know?"

"So you do know?" he asked, looking at me for second, before shooting Alice a harsh look.

"Yes. I know. Of course I know. I mean I was…" But I couldn't finish the thought.

"How do you guys know?"

"I can't tell you. I'm not…allowed to talk about it…but I'm sure SHE will fill you in all about it when I walk away," he remark, giving Alice another cold look.

"You can count on it, DOG."

"Alice?" I simply said when he walked away.

"Those costumes they're wearing…well they aren't really costumes. They're werewolves, Bella."

She filled me in about the treaty and the first time the Cullen's were here. I remembered the story now that I forced out of Jake last year. That seemed so long ago now.

"That must be why I couldn't see how tonight turned out. They must be able to block my ability. It makes sense now."

"And the smell thing?"

"Uh. Bella. They stink! I can hardly stand here still."

"Belllllllaaaaa! There you are. Come and join the game!" Mike yelled at me, coming toward us. I smiled as best I could and walked toward the group. The shock from what I just found out had weakened my ability to think and I was suddenly allowing myself to participate in this horrible game….

* * *

Okay chapter 4 coming very very soon. I promise some real bella and edward time! It should be fuller scenes from now on too, but no promises for right right away. Some Edward pov and more bella and then some third person omniscient in case you were at all wondering. Yes Jake made it in the fic, he was needed for the alice thing..you'll see why..things are going to be somewhat less angsty I think( since the start was ridiculously so)…umm yeah so enjoy please review as always


	4. Daring Acts

I was practically on the floor in a fit of giggles after hearing Paul pretend to be Joy and call her boss to request the next day off. It was actually scary how much like her he could make himself sound. I was laughing so hard- it didn't help that he was dressed like the bad guy from Little Red Ridinghood- I was completely unready for what came next.

"Bella," he sweetly purred my name, ending my laughter immediately.

No, no, no,no, I thought inwardly.

"Truth or dare?"

Everyone in the room turned to look at me as I noticeably gulped. What could I say? If I say truth and they ask me something about…him…I won't be able to lie, at least not with my face, and I can't have them knowing the truth. And I can't have him seeing my confession through Alice's eyes.

"…Dare," I grumbled, not really meeting anyone's eyes.

I looked up to see Paul smirking and felt some panic, but it was honestly hard to get too worked up about anything these days. Everything, sadly, just seemed to matter a little less.

"I'm glad you said dare. Because Jake here, I know, has had quite the crush on you over the last year, so for his sake, I dare you to give him a little kiss." He was smirking and Jake threw him a dirty look before looking at me guiltily.

What choice did I have? I would close my eyes and make it quick, like kissing a relative.

I stood up and walked over to Jake. His face lit up as I stood before him and I had to fight a cringe so I didn't hurt his feelings. I leaned in and quickly placed my lips on his in a very chaste kiss. I moved to pull back, my lips barely hitting his and then suddenly my head was forced forward, practically colliding into his. I gasped in shock and then choked on my own intake of breath as I felt Jake's tongue dart into my mouth, as his arms tightened around my neck and head, holding me in place. I went limp for a whole three seconds, my body going into shock, then my fight reflex kicked in and I pushed hard against his chest. The pushing didn't seem to be getting any response so I moved my hands up to my mouth, wedging them in, to block his lips from mine. This action he did notice and he pulled away with a look of confusion. Had he thought I wanted him to kiss me? How did he not notice how forceful and rough he had been? I glared at him for a long second, letting him know his actions were completely unwelcomed.

"What the hell, Jacob?" That was all I could say. His face dropped and he seemed embarrassed. I didn't feel bad one bit if he did, he should. I looked around the room and the faces seemed divided. Some people thought I was over reacting and some thought Jake was a total jerk. I saw Vince, who looked troubled but like he didn't know what to do. Alice looked like she was about to kill Jacob, so I pulled her by the hand and took her away. I walked into the sitting room and she followed. No one was in there so I plopped myself down on the sofa and sighed loudly.

"I could just kill him for that."

"I know. Why do you think I made you come in here? That game is usually nothing but trouble in the end, anyways. Someone always ends up getting hurt."

"Did he hurt you?"

"No, not really. I mean, I didn't appreciate him forcing himself on me, but I think he's the one who got hurt in the end. I had no idea he liked me like that. He had been keeping his distance for so long, the whole thing is just confusing. He seems different now. The Jake I know wouldn't have done that. It was like he was possessed or didn't have control over himself."

"He's a teenage boy. They can be like that…no self control…terrible decision making skills."

"We're not all that bad." I turned to see Vince stepping into the room, hesitantly.

"Can I come in?"

"Sure," Alice said quickly, getting up. "I'm going to go ask Angela where she got her necklace. I've been dying to ask her all night."

Alice! Traitor!

Vince sat down on the other side of the sofa and faced me.

"Want me to beat him up for you?" he joked.

"I just want to forget tonight ever happened—I mean forget about that," I said, immediately feeling terrible for my slip.

Vince didn't seem that upset about it, ignoring it and asking me about other things. We talked for a while and I tried hard to seem interested or focused, but really I just wanted to get through it, which, again, only made me feel worse.

"…Vince," I began, realizing I had to be upfront with him. "I think you're a really nice guy…"

"Oh, no."

"What?"

"Not the nice guy speech…really I'm not that nice of a guy." I eyed him, disbelievingly.

"You're right, it is that speech and the 'it's not you, it me' one too, while we're at it." He pretended like I stabbed a knife right through his heart, though cracking a smile as he did so.

"See…there was this…boy…"

"Ah," he said with enlightenment.

"I'm just not…ready for anything and I would hate for you to be expecting _this_ to go somewhere. Maybe it was a mistake inviting you here. You seem like a…an amazing person," I said, stopping myself from repeating past mistakes. "So you deserve to be with a girl who can really be there…you know? And I'm just…not really here at the moment."

"I get it," he said giving me an understanding smile. "…But I still think we should be friends. I like handing around you. I go to an all boys school and even there I don't have a lot of close friends. I'd like it if we could at least be friends…no expectations for anything more, whatsoever."

"Sure," I agreed, taking his outstretched hand and shaking it. As I let go, I heard shouting coming from out front and whipped my head around in its direction.

"What's that about?" he asked, turning to look as well. Apparently, we had missed something.

I distinctly heard Jake's voice and bolted for the door. The voices sounded rough and dangerous.

I ran outside and saw Jake holding Paul back and his girlfriend, Joy, standing off to the side, crying. In front of them, looking extremely pissed off, stood Demetri, a boy from school, who used to date Joy. It all started to make sense. I could hear the fight clearly now and Jake trying to settle Paul down. I noticed Paul begin to shake and couldn't help but step forward, to try and help.

"Get back, Joy. Go inside," Paul ordered her. She argued with him but eventually gave into his request. That's when I made my presence known.

"Jake, is he going to be alright." I caught him off guard and he turned to see me there. Suddenly Paul broke free and was going after Demetri, as Demetri taunted him to fight.

Paul pushed back against Demetri hard, harder than Demetri was expecting and he fell back to the ground. At the same time, Jake jumped and tackled Paul.

"Run inside and get help!" I yelled to Vince, who quickly obliged.

I bent down to help Demetri, who appeared to be knocked unconscious. By my feet Jake was trying to hold Paul down. They didn't seem aware of Demetri's condition.

"No! Paul No!" Jake yelled, alerting me and making my heart drop. Then suddenly I felt like I was falling, like in a dream, only I was falling sideways. When I opened my eyes the house was nowhere in sight; It was quiet, save for my breathing and heartbeat.

* * *

"Are you okay," I heard his sweet glorious voice and felt my knees go even weaker. I was at a loss for what happened. I thought maybe something bad had happened to me and this was a dream I was stuck in on my way to death.

"Where are we?"

"We're still in Forks, don't worry. I just had to get you out of there."

"Why, What was happening?" There was no way he missed the worry in my voice.

"Paul lost control…" He hesitated and I was sure he didn't want to tell me about the werewolves.

"You mean he turned into a werewolf…for real, though." He didn't seem surprised that I knew.

"Yes, he was phasing, which could have been very dangerous for anyone around. You could have gotten extremely hurt. It was reckless and—"

"Where did you come from? I thought Alice said you were all gone for the weekend?" I suddenly remembered.

"We ended up cutting the trip short. I was on my way to talk to Alice about something. I was just going to sneak in and out before anyone saw me, but when I got close I could hear the fighting and then I heard your voice and saw Paul phasing and I knew I had to step in."

"Oh…thanks," I said, lamely. For a second I had let myself believe he was there for me the whole time. I knew it wasn't my place to ask why they ended the trip or what he wanted with Alice, so I stayed quiet, desperate for him to stay with me a little longer.

"We should get you back, before people start to worry," he said as though reading my mind.

"Wait. Just wait a minute," I almost shouted, needing to let my head catch up with everything.

He looked at me concerned and I regretted the outburst immediately.

"Sorry. I just…need a second to process."

He carried me back to the house in his arms. This time I got to fully absorb his arms around me and clung myself to him, for the few seconds it took to get back. He set me down in the shadows. The house was quiet, but I knew everyone was inside.

"Paul and Jake took off, no one got hurt. Demetri is fine. He's being taken care of inside," Edward informed me, listening in.

"You should get back inside," he said with a chuckle.

"What are you laughing about?"

"You're new friend seems concerned about you…"

"You're listening to him?" I asked, as though appalled.

"He thinks you ran off with Jacob Black. I think you should go set him straight."

"I…sure. Thank you, Edward. For being there tonight," I said softly and without thinking it through I reached up and kissed him softly on the cheek. I knew he could have moved out of the way if he really wanted to, but he let me do it. I knew he was just being nice, but I didn't regret it for a second. He was gone when I opened my eyes.

* * *

**(That Monday. 3rd period. study hall. Library.)**

"You have to check your answer," I heard Edward's voice float over me and looked up from my math homework to see his crooked grin. It took a long moment to break my gaze. I refocused on my homework and did as he said. I had been working on that problem for the last 10 minutes.

"Thanks," I said when I figured it out.

"No problem." It was silent for a long moment as he sat down with me, as I worked. I was having a hard time concentrating, due to the strange situation. It was very rare that Edward ever was the one to strike up the conversation or seek me out. I was having a hard time wrapping my head around the situation.

"That was very wrong, what Jacob Black did to you." He stated out of nowhere. I turned to see his face, which appeared calm and at ease.

"You should have hit him…though he is stronger than most and knowing you, you might have broken your hand." He laughed and I rolled my eyes.

"Oh, gee, thanks."

"But seriously. It got me thinking. You need to learn to take better care of yourself. I mean you should learn some self defense in case some other bloke tries anything."

"Bloke?" I laughed at his word usage. "Edward, you know me. I would probably injure myself more. Besides I would be too self conscious having someone try to teach me."

"How about I show you a couple things?"

"You?" I asked, my heart stuttering.

"Sure. I think I know a thing or two," he smiled and it made my heart swell. He stood up and offered me his hand.

"What? Right now?! I asked, incredulously, eyeing the library.

"We'll go back in the archives. No one is here anyways," He said leading the way.

He started off showing me a couple easy stances and how to throw a real punch, which Charlie had already taught me, but I didn't say anything. I wanted this moment to last as long as he was willing. He would take his hands and position me correctly, leaning into me to show me each move. I felt dizzy from the excess of contact. I hadn't been used to it and it was like an alcoholic taking a drink after not drinking in years and I was highly intoxicated. With his hand on my waist and his body pressed against mind I fought back multiple moans and sighs, trying to push back the shudders that made my body tremble. I thought I could detect a low chuckle at one point but thought it was my imagination getting carried away. Time flew by and suddenly reality crept back in with the ringing of the bell.

"Do you want to pick this up again tomorrow? You still could use a little help and I would feel better if you could protect yourself on your own…" he explained and I knew he meant when they finally left.

"Sure."

* * *

"I think you have it," Edward exclaimed after our third day of 'training'.

"I should go test them out," I joked but he gave me a serious look, not enjoying my humor.

"Jacob Black, look out," I added with a laugh, trying to soften his sudden mood.

"Don't go picking a fight with Jacob. In fact, do me a favor and stay away from him all together."

"Edward, he made a mistake and I'm not about to forgive him just yet, but he's a nice kid. Eventually I'm going to hang around him again. I mean our dads are close friends."

"He's dangerous, Bella. The pack is young and can't control themselves. Please, for me, for my peace of mind, stay away from him, from all of them."

"He wouldn't hurt me…" I tried, being stubborn.

"Please, Bella. He may not mean to, but anything could happen. There have been accidents with some of the guys. Anything could happen. Please, promise me you won't be around them if you can help it.

"…okay," I conceded. "But…" I couldn't help myself, the last three days with Edward had made me reckless. I was starting to see that recklessness pulled me and Edward closer. I wanted to test that theory, even with this request.

"But I want a compromise…I won't see Jake anymore, but you have to do something for me." I was pure evil.

He looked at me wearily. "What do you want?"

"I…" Oh how could I ask him? I couldn't. I can't. It won't even come out. No, you need to just do it.

"So when Jake kissed me, it was a total sneak attack dirty move; unwanted and unfounded. And it just sucks because it's the last kiss I have. If I were to, say, die tomorrow, that kiss would be my last and I just hate to think of that. And I was thinking that we never got a proper goodbye and I'm sure when the time comes we won't get a proper goodbye either," I was rambling now as my hands graced along the binding of the books that lined the quiet rows of bookshelves we stood in.

"So what I'm asking you for, I guess, is a proper goodbye. One last real kiss to remember you by." I looked up at him when I had finished, trying to read his face. He stayed very quiet for a minute and I felt my cheeks blush fiercely.

"You want a goodbye kiss in exchange for never seeing Jacob Black again?"

"Yes," I stated simply but boldly.

He watched me as thought he could read something in the way I was standing or looking at him. I tried to appear casual, if that were even possible. I knew he was thinking it over and the mere fact that he didn't say no right away made my heart race.

"A goodbye kiss…?" It was a question. It was a statement.

I nodded my head, looking him right in the eye, not about to back down now. He was quiet for too long. I couldn't take it. I wanted to scream and then...

He stepped forward, wordlessly, and placed his hands on my hips, pulling me closer, his face still sizing me up. The moment seemed to slow down infinitesimally and I was going insane with impatience.

"And I want a real kiss. You can't hold back, "I clarified, as he took my arms and wrapped them around his neck for me. "…Or I'm walking straight over to Jake's house," I added, surprised with my cheekiness; It had to be the nerves. I saw him smirk as he shifted us both, pushing me gently up against the bookshelf. I forgot to breathe. Was he trying to make me nervous?

"Breathe Bella," he instructed. He lifted his hand and brushed the hair behind my ear, still eyeing me.

"Are you sure about this? I don't want to do anything to hurt you. Won't this make things harder?"

"Think of it like closure. People can't move past things without closure in most cases. This is simply closure."

"So this kiss will help you because it will provide you with closure?" he asked, letting his hand skim down to my jaw.

"Yes." I fought to appear in control. "I want some damn closure." I was joking. I was serious.

"I'll have to hold back _a little_, you know…"

"No you don't. I mean, you're not going to hurt me. So, what are you afraid of? You said you don't feel the same as I do, so if that's true, you shouldn't have to hold back much of anything," I tried to reason. "unless…" I insinuated, mentally slapping myself for saying that out loud. "…you still feel something…" I was pushing it, knowing the answer was no, but I didn't want him giving an excuse for holding back. This was the _last _kiss. I had daydreamed about this moment about a million times and I wanted it to be right. And this was my only chance.

He was still holding me close. I could feel his breath and caught its delicious smell as it floated over me. It hit my face and I felt stunned. He was trying to weaken my senses; catch me off guard, but I wouldn't be deterred.

"No, that's not what I'm worried about…I don't want to get your hopes up…What if this sets things back?" he breathed out. I placed my hands on both sides of his face, looking him directly in the eyes as I spoke.

"It's a small risk to take in comparison to wolves, don't you think? I know the truth. I know how you feel, so...do your worse," I challenged. "I can take it," I added, removing my hands and letting them snake around his neck again.

He eyed me once more, that serious face, examining my own, still looking for something there to stop himself. I only hoped I didn't give myself away. He leaned in slowly.

"Breathe," he reminded me.

I took a quick inhale before I felt his cool firm lips against mine. I had no self control. My hands dug into his hair, getting lost, and I clung myself to him tightly. He allowed me to kiss him more deeply than I ever remembered before. I drew back only when I needed air, before crashing my lips to his again. He supported me in his arms, and I could feel myself being lifted off the ground. For some time I forgot where we were. I forgot everything for that matter, aside from the feeling of being with him. I probably even forgot my own name.

"Bella," he called softly, reminding me, as he pulled back, stroking my face with his hand, trying to bring me back to reality. The loss of contact was devastating but necessary. Two more minutes and I probably would have passed out, from lack of oxygen.

"Someone's coming," he said simply, breaking away from me and picking up a book. I worked on regaining my breathing.

About half a minute later someone walked towards us, not seeing us at first. I pretended to look busy, looking for a book and refused to look up. The person walked past us and I turned back to Edward, who was looking at me curiously.

"The bell should be going off soon. You don't want to be late to class," he said, as though the last few minutes didn't happen.

"Right," I agreed, my lips raw from kissing. I began to walk away, my knees weak, making me move clumsily.

"Remember your promise," he called out. I turned and gave a small weak smile. "I'll remember." How could I forget that.

* * *

Please review and more will come soon!


	5. Self Reproach

EPOV

*

All day like every day I watched Bella from everyone else's eyes. But today was a little different because I had just allowed myself to kiss her. I know it was wrong. I let my wicked side win out, telling myself it wouldn't hurt, that it might do some good even.

The truth was I just wanted to kiss her again and was looking for any excuse. I couldn't pass it up. And then while I was kissing her I had no self control. I was furious with myself. I checked up on her to see how it affected her, but she was very good at concealing her emotions. She didn't mention the kiss to anyone, which only frustrated me more. I wanted to know what she was feeling, so I could know what I needed to do.

Ever since the night of that party my will power has just been a crumbled mess. I had to give myself away that night. Something could have happened. I wish Alice had been watching her better, but the wolves proved to be a problem and she wasn't aware of the danger till it was too late. She already felt bad enough and I wouldn't make her feel worse. Things turned out alright in the end. But I had to blow my cover. The truth was I never left Forks. I had been stalking the party since it started. It was painful to see this guy hanging on Bella and the thoughts he had about their possible future.

What can I say? I guess I'm a glutton for punishment. When Paul began to phase, it was just like Bella to be at the center of the danger. I had to act. I had grabbed her and ran without giving a second thought to what would come next. She believed my story about needing to speak to Alice, so easily, like she believed I did not love her anymore. How could she believe that, and so easily, confounded me, but it was better that way.

I wanted to rip Jacob Blacks head off. I wanted to steal Bella away from all those other boys, lusting after her. I wanted to tell her the truth, but I didn't because I knew I had to do what was best for her and I certainly was not it.

But I was weak enough to need to be around her and now look what I've done. I kissed her. I was a monster; a selfish, hopeless, cruel monster.

* * *

Just a quick chapter of Edwards view…more soon, again please review!


	6. I'm Glad I didn't Die Before I Met You

**Three weeks later**

The thing about Edward is ever since that day in the woods, he has been so detached. He walks around here like he's walking on pure air; light as a feather. He always seems at such ease with no concerns. I envied him because I felt like I was constantly treading water. I ached for his touch. I wasn't sleeping well anymore at all. My dreams were nightmares, wonderful delightful, blissful nightmares. In my dreams we are together. In my dreams he loves me. Then I have to wake up to reality. It was truly cruel, but I had to remind myself that it was better than the alternative.

I was running to my next class, trying to beat the bell and thinking of any reason to have to talk to Edward. I couldn't think of anything, but hoped I would still get a seat close to him.

* * *

EPOV

"You'll have to talk to Bella and let her know we'll be gone for a couple days." Edward stated flatly.

"I'll tell her after school. She doesn't need to fret longer than necessary."

"Don't mention Laurent or anything he said."

"Geez, Edward, give me some credit. Do you think I'm just going to announce to her that we're going to try and track down one of the vampires that attacked her last year? Laurent said she was asking about us, do you think she'll come back here?"

"It's possible. Carlisle said he and Emmett and Rose will stay behind to watch her, while we're away. She's not going to be causing anyone trouble for very much longer."

"You're worried about that boy, aren't you?"

"He's almost as bad as the wolves. Taking her out on that bike, without even a helmet and asking her to go cliff-diving! Who does he think he is Evil Kenevil? Can't she hang out with normal easygoing boring friends? Does it always have to be danger for her?"

"Are you sure you aren't just jealous of him spending time with her?"

"Of course I'm jealous of that! That guy stands a chance of being with her. The thought rips sat my none-beating heart ever second. And if not him, it will be some other guy…"

"I'm sorry, Edward. That was a stupid question."

"She could have died. So easily. Why does she insist on being reckless?"

_~Flashback~_

"_Hey, Bella"_

"_Hey Vince. What are you doing here?"_

"_I figured if I called you would make up some excuse to not hang out, so I just thought I'd stop by and take my chances." She looked at him guiltily, knowing he was right. _

"_Well, you're here…what do you feel like doing?"_

"_Bowling?"_

"_Sure. Let me just grab my coat." _

_She needed to do something to get her mind off the kiss with Edward. This would have to do. She followed Vince and jumped on the back of his bike. She was nervous for a second but then thought, what's the worst that could happen? They crash and she doesn't make it? It didn't sound that terrible._

_Vince sprung up on her again that Saturday and asked her to come hang out with him and a couple friends. She went along, because it was easy being around Vince. He didn't expect anything from her. He didn't make her talk and he didn't know her past._

_He stopped his car, a little off the road. Up ahead she could see some boys jumping into the water from the cliffs. Jake had once talked to her about his friends doing this, so it didn't surprise her to see them. She was taken aback that Vince wanted her to partake, but again she thought, what's the worst that could happen…_

_She had been chickening out for most the day and the boys were giving her a hard time. Finally she got fed up, waiting for them to climb back up to her. She wandered up a little higher where she saw one of them jump once before. If she was going to do this, she was going to go all out and show them what she was made of. She got to the edge as the boys came back into sight. She waved at them, throwing them a mischievous grin. They waved back, smiling in disbelief, not thinking she would actual do it and from there. She looked down. It was dangerous looking. It looked like in certain parts if you jumped straight down, you would be crushed by the rocks. The water looked scary as the waves moved in and out, but she had already made her mind up._

_But in Bella like fashion she raised her head once again to see the boys, still climbing the side of the cliff, toward her. Her foot slipped and she went tumbling forward. She couldn't even scream. In her mind, all she saw were flashes of Edward. At least he would be with her in the end. She felt her body hit something hard, but her eyes stayed tightly shut. She oddly felt no pain. Then her hallucination began talking to her._

"_What were you thinking!? Climbing up there!? You almost got yourself killed! Do you have any idea—!"_

"_Edward?" she asked timidly, confused. Her eyes opened and she saw Edward standing above her, pacing around. She noticed she was lying in the sand. They were hidden beneath the cliff, where it hung over the beach. She was alive and unhurt. Edward looked furious as he still paced around her, sometimes darting so fast she didn't see him move. He stopped suddenly, dropping to his knees at her side._

"_Are you hurt, at all?"_

"_No…I don't think so…How did you…?"_

"_Alice. She saw you fall. I ran as quickly as I could. I thought I wasn't going to make it."_

"_I'm sorry," she stated solemnly. _

"_What if Alice hadn't seen you fall?!Do you know—"_

"_I'm sorry," she repeated, even more miserably. _

"_You're being completely reckless, Bella. What's gotten into you. I won't always be around to save you, you know. You need to take care of yourself!" he yelled, still very worked up. She began to cry, not able to stop herself._

"_Don't cry, Bella. Please. I'm sorry I yelled. It was just very stupid what you did."_

"_I know…"_

"_Listen to me Bella. We don't have a lot of time. You need to act like you fell in and swam back. The boys are on their way. They'll be here in a minute. Run into the water, or they'll get suspicious._

"_Right," she said, getting up immediately. "I guess you need to go."_

"_I shouldn't even be here at all, so yes, I need to get out of here. Do me a favor and call Alice for a ride back though. You really shouldn't be on that bike and without a helmet…"_

"_I'll call her," she said, knowing she owed him that much at the very least, and then ran to the water as Edward disappeared._

"I talked to her about that. I think that day really sobered her up. She'll be careful while we're gone. Besides, she doesn't like you being mad at her."

"She thinks I'm mad at her?" This struck him deeply and caused him intense pain. He was upset and terrified by what almost happened that day, but he didn't want her thinking he was mad at her.

Edward was listening to Alice's thoughts, the conversation Bella had had with her the night of the incident. He saw something he didn't like. Something she had been trying to hide from her.

"…_I'm just happy you're still here with us. Really Bella, you nearly gave me a heart attack, which is a pretty impressive thing for someone without a beating heart. But I have to say I'm a little more upset you were going to let me leave tonight without even mentioning the kiss."_

"_You saw that?" Bella asked, self-consciously._

You saw that?" Edward repeated, as he saw the memory in her head. She just nodded, sadly.

"_You weren't going to tell me?"_

"_The truth is, it wasn't a big deal."_

"_What!?" Alice asked, disbelieving what she was hearing._

"_I don't know. It's weird. I expected it to be intense and almost painful, but it had oddly no effect on me. I mean it was a good kiss and I tried as hard as I could to get into it, but it was like I was trying too hard. I didn't get that feeling anymore. I guess it really is over between us." _

Edward heard the words fall from Bella's lips, but could hardly believe it. This had been what he was secretly hoping. That she would let go, but knowing she had was too much to handle.

Alice looked at him piteously, knowing he was not holding up nearly as well as he pretended, even with her.

"I'm sorry I didn't show you that earlier but I thought it would only hurt you."

"I needed to see it, Alice."

"You know she doesn't really believe that, don't you?"

"You think she was lying to you? She isn't that good of a liar. She trusts you and would confide in you what she truly feels…" He let his thought stop there, unable to continue. "I better get to class before Mrs. Hall makes me recite Shakespeare or something."

"You're closer than you think," Alice winked at him, before skipping off ahead of him.

* * *

BPOV

I got to class just as the bell was ringing and dove into the first empty chair I saw. I let my bag slide to the floor and looked up, noticing a pair of eyes on me. Edward. He was peering down at me, with a perfect lopsided grin.

"Close call, Bella," he joked. I just smiled and tried to focus on Mrs. Hall introducing the activity for the day. It was hard to concentrate with Edward so close. The words 'put on a play' and 'everyone must audition' caught my attention. I realized she wanted the class to act out the story of Romeo and Juliet, the story we just got done reading. We would have two weeks of rehearsal in class before we had to put it on. Was this woman crazy? More like crazy for theater, which due to budget cuts was cut this year. Mrs. Hall wouldn't let a little thing like that stop her and now we all had to suffer. I looked over at Edward, realizing something. He would get the part of Romeo, without even trying. Suddenly I desperately wanted a major starring role. I looked over at Alice who smiled at me and I wonder what she knew already. It oddly gave me strength that maybe I could pull this off.

Edward read and of course he was amazing. I think every girl was drooling, including Mrs. Hall.

I sat in my chair, nervous about my name getting called but willing myself to pull it together.

"Bella?" Mrs. Hall called, handing me a script. I knew the lines practically by heart and just hoped my voice wouldn't give out on me. I stood in front and picked a spot on the back wall and stared at it as I read. Somewhere in the reading I lost my self conscious worries and let go. I spoke the words like they truly came from within, forgetting to be nervous or embarrassed. When I was done everyone was staring at me and I knew I had either done something very bad or very good.

"That was amazing, Bella. I didn't know you were such a good actress," Alice teased.

Something in the way she said it, made me wonder what she meant. Paranoia made my mind skip back to the night I told her about the kiss. I had been practicing what I would say to her in front of my mirror before she arrived, knowing that somehow the kiss would come up. I had realized on my way home from hanging out with Vince that I had to do everything I could to appear over him. I wasn't expecting Alice that night, but I was ready for her. I knew every facial expression I needed to make and, more importantly, not make. I knew how to control my voice. I practiced sounding blasé about it. I knew she would tell him and I knew he would analysis the conversation. I had to be convincing. He had always joked about what a terrible actress I was, but that's because I had never really tried. All it took was a little practice and motivation.

"Beginners luck," I replied, dismissing her compliment. "Mrs. Hall would be crazy to give me any major part," I added.

"I think she would be crazy not to," I heard Edward say, butting into our conversation. He was totally welcomed to.

"We'll just have to wait and see," I said.

"Maybe you'll have to wait and see," Alice teased. I groaned, both wanting to know and wishing to never know.

"Thank you all for those wonderful auditions. I'll have the roles posted on Monday. You'll have a week to memorize the lines on your own and then we'll have two weeks for rehearsal!" Mrs. Hall practically shouted over the bell.

* * *

"Bella," Alice called over to me as I was walking across the parking lot. I threw my bad in the cab and waited for her to reach me.

"Hey, what's up."

"I just wanted to catch you, before you left. I don't want you to worry, but We're going out of town for a couple days."

"Oh…all of you?"

"Carlisle has to work and Emmett and Rose are staying behind for some alone time, but the rest of us are going."

"Can I ask where or…"

"We're going to visit some old friends," she explained quickly.

"Oh…old friends, like…the friends who came and visited before…?"

"Kind of…" What wasn't she tell me. I knew she was keeping something.

"What, Alice. It's okay…is there someone there…is there a girl?" I felt mortified asking, but I couldn't stop the words from pouring out.

"Oh, Bell. It isn't like that. Laurent's going to be there, too…it's—"

"Laurent?"

"Oh, well, yes…Yes, he's visiting the Denali's—"

"The Denali's?"

"They're a coven, a family."

"Like you guys?"

"Yes, but smaller…there's three of them."

"What are their names?" I asked, not even trying to conceal my desire for the knowledge.

Alice sighed. "Irina, Kate, and Tanya…oh and Eleazar and Carmen have joined them.

"So it is a girl and there's three of them?!"

"Bella…stop letting your imagination run wild. Edward isn't interested in any of them."

"I didn't say anything about Edward. He can be with whoever he wants…"

"You were a way better actress in class…we'll be back in a few days. Be careful, please and don't worry about the sisters. There is nothing going on there."

Sure, you're just visiting for no reason at all. I'm not a child. She doesn't have to keep this from me.

"He promised he would at least say goodbye first, remind him, in case he gets too _distracted_," I couldn't hide the sullenness in my voice. Alice, laughed lightly at my pitiful behavior, giving me a quick hug and kiss on the cheek before returning to the others, who waited in the Volvo. I couldn't help but catch Edward's eyes as I turned to get in my truck. Come back…you promised, I couldn't help think.

* * *

**Saturday**

I tried to sleep in as long as possible. My dreams, good and bad, consumed me. All I could think about was some Rosalie like beauty putting her paws all over Edward, MY EDWARD…no, I had to stop thinking of him like that.

I did my homework, a load of laundry…trying to keep my mind occupied. When my phone rang I almost jumped out of my skin. I hadn't realized how quiet the house was.

"Bella?"

"Hey Vince," I replied, trying to hid my disappointment. For a minute I thought it might be Alice checking in.

"Have any plans tonight?"

"Wide open actually," I said, hearing the bitterness seep into my voice.

"Want to hang out?"

"Sure."

"I'll pick you up at 8."

"Sounds good…umm could you bring a helmet if we're taking your bike?" I had to remember to be careful.

* * *

When his bike pulled up I suddenly realized I had no idea where we were going. I walked outside before he could come and get me. It felt less like a date that way. I was glad Charlie wasn't home to see the bike. He would have flipped.

"So where are we going?" I asked, putting on the helmet.

"I was thinking we could stop by a party my brother is throwing. It could be fun."

I didn't really feel like going to a party, but I didn't have the heart to tell him no, so I agreed.

Once we arrived, I began to get a little anxious. I was about to walk into a house with about twenty strangers. Anything for a little distraction.

"Do you want me to get you a drink?" He asked as we made our way inside and looked around. I looked at him, unsure.

"Here," he said pouring a cup and handing it to me. It's mainly juice, just something to keep your hands and mouth occupied for all those awkward moments, he laughed, handing it to me.

He introduced me to his brother and a few others. I just stood there trying to blend in and listen to everyone talk. It was getting easier.

After awhile I needed to use the bathroom. He was right, those drinks were mostly juice and cut right through me.

"I'll show you," he said, leading the way.

I opened the door and saw Vince waiting for me. I took a step, slipped and knocked my head right into the end of the door.

"Ow," I whined, rubbing my forehead.

"Ooo, that was a hard hit. You should sit down." He took my arm and led me. I blindly followed, as my head throbbed. I opened my eyes after sitting down and noticed I was in someone's bedroom. I suddenly panicked at the thought of being in there with him, but then felt guilty because he was just trying to help. If I wasn't such a major klutz, we would be downstairs already with the others.

He rubbed my forehead with his hand, asking how I was.

"I'm fine. I don't even know what I tripped on, nothing probably."

"You just wanted to get me alone, didn't you?" he joked, but when I looked at him, there was something in his eyes that reminded me of James. I shivered, remembering last spring.

"Are you cold?" he asked, rubbing my shoulders, suddenly much closer.

"No, I'm fine. Maybe we should head back to the party…?"

"Aw, come on, what's the rush?" he asked and I could smell the alcohol on his breath.

"No, rush…just…everyone will wonder where we are," I explained, dumbly.

"I think they'll put it together…" he replied suggestively, leaning his face to mine. I pulled back, pressing my hand against his chest to create distance.

"Vince, you're drunk."

"No, I'm not. I feel fine…I feel good."

"I want to go home."

"I don't think you do. I think you want to stay right here," he said, suddenly advancing on me and pushing me down to the bed, trying to kiss me.

"Stop it, Vince. We're just friends. Stop!" I yelled, fighting him off.

"Friends can fool around—" he said, kissing my neck.

"No!" My hand flew to his throat, jabbing him, those self defense moves kicking in. I jumped up and ran out. When I made it out the door, I grabbed my phone, thinking of who I could call.

"Angela? Can you come pick me up?"

Angela was there in ten minutes. She met me at the gas station on the corner. I jumped in the car and told her about what happened with Vince. The tune on the radio kept distracting me, making me think of Edward, but I was too grateful for the ride to ask to turn it off.

_  
…I don't know where I am  
I don't know where I've been  
But I know where I want to go  
So I thought I'd let you know  
That these things take forever  
I especially am slow  
But I realized that I need you_  
And I wondered if I could come home

I wondered where he was right at that moment and what he was thinking. I was wondering if I could ever come _home_.

_I remember the time you drove all night  
Just to meet me in the morning  
And I thought it was strange  
You said everything changed  
You felt as if you just woke up  
And you said,  
This is the first day of my life,  
I'm Glad I didn't die before I met you  
But now I don't care I could go anywhere with you  
And I'd probably be happy._

I began to cry and I knew she must have thought it was about tonight, but really it was about every night, every night I had to spend away from him.

* * *

Thoughts????


	7. The Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet

**Sunday Night**

"What is it with guys trying to force themselves on you? is it me? Is something wrong with me?"

"Don't be silly, Bella," Alice chided, sitting with me on my bed.

"Easy for you to say, some guy messes with you and ..." I made a noise and slid my finger across my throat. "He called and apologized for his _behavior_. He said he felt horrible about it and didn't mean to scare me. That he never drank before and he was nervous and didn't realize I felt so strongly..."

"That doesn't make what he did okay."

"I know that. I told him I couldn't be friends anymore, but I forgave him. I just hope that next time he's interested in a girl and tries to... well, I hope there is no next time for _that_."

"I'm sorry we were away...But Bella, not all guys are like that. There are good ones. Don't let his bad decision make you bitter." I couldn't tell for a minute if she meant Vince or Edward.

"It would be so much easier if I could just let him kiss me. If I wanted him to kiss me. I just have no interest... Am I unfair to them, to Jake and Vince, I mean? Do I lead them on somehow? Give them, false hope?"

"No. You did nothing wrong. I think I was wrong for forcing you to try and move on too soon."

"I think you're right...I think _I_ was right to take a break and not force it. Can we just stop this whole production? I just want to be by myself. I could probably use the time to work on _me_. I don't want to think about relationships or love, or any of that."

"Absolutely…no love junk…except, well…"

"What? Tell me."

"I think you should know, you get the part."

"What?"

"Ah, dear Juliet…"

"You're kidding."

"You're going to do marvelous, don't worry. This will be good for you. Conquering another fear."

"And Romeo…?"

"I think you know the answer to that question."

"Oh…is he okay with it?"

"Why shouldn't he be?"

"Oh, I don't know. He's going to be stuck for two-- three weeks, pretending to adore me…"

"If anything he's concerned about you and your…attachment to him. He said if you wanted he would step down and let someone else do it."

"He thinks I won't be able to handle it?"

"You know Edward, always worrying. Always blaming himself...kind of like someone else I know..." I threw her a dirty look at her insinuation.

"...Right…well...tell him --not--to--worry? It would actually be a lot easier for me to get up there in front of everyone if he's doing it with me." I said, trying to explain that I needed him without saying that I needed him. "It'll be a quick few weeks. It's only acting."

"Right, Bella," she smirked and I knew she didn't believe a words I said.

* * *

**Monday**

I was determined to play it cool. That was me Bella 'to cool for school' Swan. Okay I was a total coward and was currently hiding out in the library from all of the Cullens. But I couldn't hide forever. I had class with my two favorite Cullens in just minutes.

When I got to class, Edward didn't even look up to greet me. Alice smiled, kindly and then went back to talking to him. I sat down in the only available seat, stunned. Were they trying to avoid me, now? Mrs. Hall got the class started and we all found out our parts. I tried to keep my head down when she called my name, fighting the growing blush. We would begin practice in the theater starting next week. I pushed up my sleeves, feeling too hot, especially with all those eyes on me. I could tell a lot of girls were throwing me daggers with their eyes. I shouldn't have let Alice pick out my outfit last night anyways.

* * *

**The Next Monday**

I got to the theater early so I could run some lines on my own. I was nervous, afraid I would make a terrible goof with the lines or even fall in the orchestra pit. I sat down on the stage and pulled out my script. Others shuffled in as I sat there. Alice and Edward walked in together. They weren't going out of their way to ignore me, but I sensed they were deliberately keeping their distance. I just wondered what I had done wrong or why they were being so distant now.

Mrs. Hall came and put us in pairs, Edward of course got stuck with me. He came over and had a seat. He, of course, didn't need a script.

"Shall we get started?" he asked me, as though I was any person in the class. As though we didn't have the history we did.

"Sure…our first scene?" He nodded and we began.

He spoke the lines so perfectly, I almost forgot my own. This was going to be a problem if he distracted me to the point I couldn't speak. Even with his perfect delivery, there was something missing from his speech. He lacked the right passion and I feared he was wishing that he was somewhere else; with someone else. Maybe that was the cause for the distance. He wished he was with one of those Denali girls and I was forcing him to stick around till graduation. As I sat there listening to him, I knew what I had to do. I had to let him go. I was being unfair. He wanted to move on and if I truly loved him. I would let him go…I would work on letting him go.

It's call it the Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet. _The Tragedy_... sometimes people forget that. It doesn't end well for them…for so many reasons. But _that _isn't necessarily the tragedy. We know what's coming. We are warned in the beginning, but what we never will know, what is constantly up for debate is the love shared by the two young teens. Perhaps the tragedy is that they believed they felt something that wasn't real and that belief left them blinded and vulnerable. If Romeo had given it another week, maybe Rosaline would have gone for him, or maybe he would have found someone new. Juliet could have possibly been happy with Paris…That is the thing we will never know. The love they felt is the only uncertainty of the play. Say they hadn't died, that they carried on, that they got to stay together. Would they still feel as intensely for each oither in five or ten years...in even one?

I guess I was beginning to sound a little bitter, but I thought I had love. I let myself think Edward could love me and it ended up nearly killing me when I found out he didn't. Do I want to end up like Juliet? I mean, Edward was already dead in a sense, so he was safe, but me…I was weak, frail and human. Was Paris really that bad of an alternative?

A loud voice in my head shouted 'Yes! You know you'll never love anyone else!'. I told that little loud voice to shove it. Because that meant there was only one other option…Juliet chose a dagger…No, I can't think that way, I promised. But maybe I could learn from their tragic mistakes. I felt something because of the intensity of the situation and unique beauty and brilliance of Edward would make any girl fall hard...that was kind of how he was created to be. I have to allow the idea to set in that love maybe just an illusion that people cling to because they need to believe in it. The unattainable prize that we fool ourselves into believing we, of all people, actually won. Like I told him,Edward was like winning the lottery, but the best kind of lottery, but now he took back my winning ticket. I had no claim on him any longer.

After the play then it is... I'll tell him he's free to go. I just want a couple more moments with him where I can pretend he still loves me. That love exists. That he's actually saying those words to me, and means it when he's kissing me.

* * *

At the end of the week, I was doubting my self control and will power. I wished reality was a little bit more shy. Next week we had two dress rehearsals and that meant we would also be kissing for real. I would be more excited but Edward just seemed so unhappy and distracted every day. Sometimes it was like he saw right through me. I had let myself get too close to him. I had let my hope wander too far and taken too many allowances and now my heart was starting to really pay the price. I couldn't stay blissfully blind forever. I was now aware of what exactly was causing Edward pain and it only made me suffer more.

I threw my script in my bag and stood up to leave, catching myself in a prop mirror.

ugh, I thought, staring at my image. I noticed my shirt was a present from Alice. I hadn't worn it before, but I was having a bizarre shortage of clothes. I should actually ask Alice about that. Maybe she did something with them when she was over last week.

"Hey, Alice," I called as causally as possible. I was glad to have an excuse to talk to her.

"Hey, Bella. How is practice going?"

"Well. You make a great Tybalt too. She was smart to cast you as him."

"Thanks. It _is _fun...I'm sorry we haven't had much time to talk lately. Things have been pretty hectic...We'll have to do a shopping trip soon."

"Actually, it's funny you say that...did you do anything with my clothes when you were over last. I can't find a few shirts...I've looked everywhere."

"No, I didn't move anything," she said, though there was something in her face that made me curious.

"Oh...I'm sure I put them somewhere then...I just thought, maybe...oh, well...Better get to class."

" See ya later, Bella."

* * *

Wow that was a lot of writing. I wrote a lot, I think, so now its your turn ( : Just something quick to let me know you care!

Maybe you're wondering whats up with Edward and even Alice? Whats going to happen? Are they going to leave…what if I told you they for sure are going to go…did I say too much?

Oh well…maybe I'll get in another chapter before the weekend's out!


	8. I Abhor you I Adore you

"'Tis but thy name that is my enemy.  
Thou art thyself, though not a Montague.  
What's Montague? It is nor hand, nor foot,  
Nor arm, nor face... O, be some other name"

I recited the line for the third time that night, as I slide aimlessly along the stage floor, my fingers gliding along the painted backdrop of a garden. I sat on the prop bench, knowing I had less chance for falling or hurting myself if I sat still.

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose  
By any other word would smell as sweet."

I almost choked as I spoke the last line, Edward's eyes, off stage left, caught my own and held them.

"So Romeo would, were he not Romeo called," I spoke directed too him, noticing a strength building in my voice, "Retain that dear perfection which he owes  
Without that title." I smiled, thinking it over.

" Romeo, doff thy name;  
And for thy name, which is no part of thee,  
**Take all myself." **My eyes closed at the last words, too painful to hope.

He stepped into the light, coming towards me as I spoke.

"I take thee at thy word…"

He continued on with his speech and I kept reminding myself of my next lines, so I would be ready. It was getting late. It was our last dress rehearsal. Tomorrow would be our first production. We had two; one for the students, during the day, and one for parents and the community at night.

It was slight torture asking him to tell me he loves me, asking these questions that I truly wanted answered and him always answering them so perfectly, but of course he was only answering Juliet.

"I will not fail. 'Tis twenty years till then.  
I have forgot why I did call thee back."

This line always gave me trouble because I knew what would come next. He stepped closer and leaned in as though to kiss me.

"Let me stand here till thou remember it." He said before placing his mouth near but not quite touching my cheek, my forehead, my jaw…He never actually kissed me during the rehearsals, which was probably a good thing. Who knows how I would respond.

"I shall forget, to have thee still stand there,  
Rememb'ring how I love thy company." This line gave me even more trouble, because the words always came out in an unstable mess.

He continued speaking, letting his finger press against my lips, driving me absolutely mad with his proximity. And we still had to get through the marital scene.

It was going to be a long night.

* * *

"Takes my breath away each time I see it!" Mrs. Hall exclaimed, gushing about the death scene.

I just mumbled some kind of thank you, getting my stuff ready to go home. I was exhausted, between nightmares, school work, and practice I was beat.

"Bella," Alice said, interrupting.

"We better be going, see you tomorrow Mrs. Hall."

"What's up, Alice?" I asked after we made our way out the door.

"I have an idea and you have to say yes, because I already bought the tickets."

"Tickets? What are you planning?" I asked, nervously. Knowing Alice it was something big. She never did anything small. The last couple days Alice had been suddenly swarming me like Bees on Honeycomb or something. Edward however was even more distant and moody. Every time he looked at me, he looked like he was in pain and everything he said sounded so agonized, even the simplest thing.

"Christmas break is in two weeks and I got us tickets to Florida to visit your mom. Aren't I the best!?"

"Alice! You shouldn't have—"

"Tish tish. I did, so what do you think?"

"I think you're amazing."

"Then it's settled." She jumped up and down excitedly.

"I'll see you at school tomorrow then," I said, stopping in between our cars. To my left Edward was waiting for her, leaning up against his car. He wore a brooding stare.

"Do you mind if I talk to Edward for a minute?" I asked suddenly, knowing if I waited any longer I might lose my nerve and knowing it was too painful to cause him so much pain. It would be easier to suffer alone in silence then to cause us both injury.

"Yeah, I'll just see you tomorrow." Edward already began walking over, clearing hearing me from there. He gave his keys to Alice and whispered something in her ear. She nodded and then proceeded to get into the Volvo, driving away.

"Want me to drive?" he asked, holding his hands out for the keys.

"Why not, but goes easy on her."

"I remember."

We didn't talk the whole way there. The silence was deafening. Turning off the ignition he finally turned to me, waiting.

"Alice and I are going to Florida." Why I started off with that, I have no idea.

"I know. She told me." Come on, Bella. You can do this.

"Look, Edward, I know you've been unhappy about our situation." I looked at him, at his piercing eyes, which penetrated my heart effortlessly. He didn't say anything though, probably wondering where I was going with this.

"I hate to see you in so much pain and I hate to know I'm the cause of it. It takes what I've done and just amplifies it a million times over."

He closed his eyes, resting his head back against the seat. I paused, wondering what he could possibly be thinking and feeling.

"I won't let you hurt like that, not if I can stop it." I stopped, and took a couple silent deep breathes. "I know we said till graduation, but I changed my mind."

With that his head snapped in my direction and he was eyeing me exigently. I pressed on, raising my hand out, to let him know I wasn't finished.

"When you told me…you were leaving, I couldn't handle it. I wasn't ready, but I'm strong enough now to say goodbye…" I was already crying and felt the sobs coming on. Why was this so impossible? I needed to do it.

"I said till graduation, Bella. I made you that promise and I won't break it. I'm not going anywhere till then." He said drying my tears. We sat very close in the cab and I could feel his body against mine.

"No, Edward. I already decided. Alice is going with me to Florida. When I come back I think it would be best if you were already gone." I said the words as evenly and forcefully as possible.

"Why are you asking me this now?"

"You were right, it is too hard having you here," I lied. "It's too hard to move on, when you're around every corner." We sat in silence for a while.

"If it's what you truly want," he started, sounding far away, " I'll go, but please be honest with me, now. You don't have to hide anything from me. You can tell me anything."

"I know that. I'm not hiding anything. I've just realized I need you to go before I can really get on with things, with my life. You were right. What you said that day: _Why wait to put off the inevitable_... everything, I was too upset to see it."

"If we leave... are you going to promise to take care of yourself? Better than you have been," he asked and I knew what he was getting at. "No wolves, no cliff diving, no wandering down dark allies in foreign cities…" He was berating me for my past mistakes.

"I'll be fine. I'll take grace lessons," I tried to joke, my rough breathing, getting in the way. "... I realize now that I won't be alone, either. I have my family and friends, and college, and lots of things to look forward to.I'll be fine...fine," I repeated, mostly to myself. I knew my words were weakened by my freshly falling tears, but they couldn't be controlled.

"You don't sound fine to me. How can you tell me you want me to leave when this is what, even talking about it, does to you?" He was rubbing small circles on my wrist. His other hand forcing my eyes to look at him.

"I'm just crying because…I feel so bad for what I've done to you, making you stay with me, when you want to go. And it's hard to surrender to the idea of not loving you forever. As much as it hurt to hold onto it, it hurts just as much letting go. I'm sure once you're gone it will be easier."

"Bella…"

I knew he would try and convince me that he was fine and that he wanted to stay with me till graduation like planned, but I knew that would be a lie. He had some other girl, Irina, Kate, or Tanya, out there waiting for him. If I put myself in her position I would hate me for keeping them apart…I had been so stupid. He had tried to tell me, even that day in the words. He said he wanted to leave, that he was tired of pretending and that I was no good for him. He said he didn't want me…because he found someone else who he could truly love. And once a vampire truly falls in love like Jasper and Alice, or Rose and Emmett, Carlisle and Esme, there was no going back. It couldn't be reversed. Edward had fallen in love and it was irreversible, and certainly no pathetic weak human could come between them.

"I don't want you to stay here! I need you to leave!" I opened the door, needing to get inside and way, to get away before I threw myself at him.

"Okay," he said softly.

"And promise once you go, that you're really gone. I can't have any hope of you changing your mind and coming back. I know it is an impossible idea but I need to hear you tell me again; you won't come back. It will be like you never existed."

"When we leave, we'll leave for good. I won't bother you anymore."

"Thank you," I said, looking down, holding onto the open door. "Goodbye, Edward," I bit out more harshly than necessary, slamming it and walking away, toward my new future, that was gaining on me.

I threw myself down on my bed, holding my breath, hiding my face in the pillow. I refused to let the violent sobs escape my lips. If Edward was still in ear shot, I didn't want to give him a reason to disregard what I just told him. I locked my jaw, determined. I lay there till I regained some control and then escaped into my sanctuary, the shower, where I slid to the bottom of the tub and sobbed silently.

There was a huge hole in my chest that just seemed to continue to rip wider and wider still.

* * *

**The next day (day of the play)**

I was so nervous about the matinee, I couldn't eat lunch. The play was to begin directly after, so I skipped it all together and went to the theater to rehearse and get ready. I changed quickly and let Angela help me with my make-up. I quietly rehearsed my lines to myself, probably sounding like an insane bag lady. Eventually everyone from English was there and Mrs. Hall was calling us to order. I saw Alice, who gave me what I could only describe as a sad smile and I knew Edward must have told her about our conversation. She had picked me up in the morning which was unusual, but the whole day was weird. Starting with the fact that I accidentally set my alarm an hour easier than usual and didn't even notice. Alice said she had been waiting for me for hours to get up, excited about the play. We ran our lines in the car instead of talking about Edward.

"Mr. Newton, can you and Bella come with me a second?" I jerked my head up, hearing my name.

I stepped over to Mrs. Hall, wondering what she needed from Mike and me.

"Mike you're going to have to step up and fill your understory roll. Edward was not feeling well today and isn't going to make it. You have all the lines and scenes memorized correct?"

No wonder Alice wanted to drive me to school. Edward didn't show up. Was he already gone. Oh, god, no.

"Yes!" I heard Mike shout before Mrs. Hall, even finished explaining the situation. He must have misses her crushing disappointment that the leading man was ill. I know I was having a hard time hiding my anguish. He wasn't here…he wasn't here! Had he chosen to leave for good last night? I should have let him talk to me. I shouldn't have been so mean. I was having hard time breathing, my chest ached.

"Bella? Bella?" Mrs. Hall called to me concerned. "Don't be nervous, dear. You'll do just fine. It's okay. Just have a seat. Pretend like it's just like rehearsal," she comforted me, misunderstanding my attack.

Except Edward was there with me in rehearsal…it isn't the same. It will never again be the same.

I would have to resign myself to a life without my love.

I wanted to ask Alice about it, but she was nowhere to be seen before we got started.

Stepping out onto the stage, under the bright stage lights, I thought for a minute I was going to faint. Somehow, I got through it though. It helped picturing Edward's face as I spoke. My delusional mind actually allowed me to see him, as though he were right there, standing right behind Mike, like some phantom ghost. It gave me strength with every delivered line.

* * *

The audience erupted into applause as the curtain fell down. Mike wrapped his arms around me, congratulating us all. I threw my arms around Angela, telling her she was wonderful. I looked for Alice who walked over to me, smiling. I gave her a big hug as she told me how proud of me she was.

"Where is he?" I whispered in her ear.

"There was something he needed to do. I guess it couldn't wait," She said, pulling back to evaluate my state.

"I told him to go…"

"He needed to leave, anyways,"dismissing the idea that it was my fault he was gone. "He should really be the one to explain. I told him I wouldn't say anything. I'm sorry, Bella. I promised him."

"It's fine, Alice. It isn't my place…you don't own me any explanation."

"He'll be back," she added, as though to sooth me.

"When?" I couldn't help but ask.

"…I don't know exactly," she answered honestly. I needed to sit down. Perhaps I should have eaten something. I wanted to just go home and crawl into bed, but I still had a role to reprise that night.

I went home and attempted to cook dinner before I needed to get back to the school. My mind was so distracted I ended up burning most of it. Not that it mattered much for myself, I could hardly eat anything. I apologized to Charlie, who didn't seem too bothered, saying his burned more suppers than he can remember. He wished me good luck and said he would see me there.

* * *

When I got to the theater I went to the dressing room to get ready.

"Here, these are for you," Angela said, handing me a bouquet of roses. "Someone sent them with a note.

_~Good Luck, Bella~_

_"Is love a tender thing? It is too rough, too rude, too boisterous; and it pricks like thorn." (careful with those thorns, please 3 )_

They're beautiful. Who are they from?"

"It doesn't say."

"You, uh, like your roses," Mike asked, coming up and joining the conversation awkwardly.

"Wait, did you send them to me?"

"I, uh, well, you know me. You deserve a whole room of flowers, Bella."

"Oh, um, thanks…they're very pretty. Yes, I do like them."

"Well, er, we should get ready," he said quickly, averting his eyes from mine.

* * *

I peered out of the curtain and saw Charlie sitting amongst the crowd, reading through the program. He was so happy and proud of me. It was the only reason I didn't back out of tonight.

I paced around, repeating my first scene, calming me down. Alice, again, conveniently was nowhere to be found.

" Come, gentle night, come, loving, black-brow'd night,  
Give me my Romeo; and, when I shall die,

"take him and cut him out in little stars and he will make the face of heaven so fine that all the world will be in love with night and pay no worship to the garish sun." I thought of Edward and my heart nearly burst.

I was sitting on the make-shift bed, looking over to stage right, out the pretend window, waiting for my love, my Romeo, to meet me. As I spoke I saw my delusion come to life, suddenly appearing before me. He stood back on the wing, not coming forward like my other hallucinations, he was gorgeous and breathtaking. But I knew any moment, it would be Mike Newton who would waltz on stage and over to me, as my _new husband_.

* * *

The curtain came down and I lay down, ready for the next scene. It was childish I know, but I wanted to take the blanket I sat on top of and cover myself with it like a child hiding from a monster in their closet. I closed my eyes, pretending to actually sleep and felt the bed shift as mike slid in next to me. I almost cracked a smile at the idea of Charlie chasing Mike off the stage.

I heard the curtain rise and Mike shift as the birds chirp on cue. I must be lonely because I had an irrational desire to wrap myself around Mike's body as I lay there, waiting for the scene to begin.

"Wilt thou be gone? it is not yet near day" I began, reaching for Romeo.

"It was the nightingale, and not the lark," I said shifting slightly, my hand seeking flesh. My mind went absolutely blank, a stun gun to the head, when my hand landed on a firm, solid shoulder, which most definitely did not belong to Mike Newton. My eyes shot open and I gasped as I saw Edward, my Edward. laying next to me, a small grin, hidden from the crowd, playing on his face. I fumbled, forgetting my lines, forgetting what I was doing or where I was.

He whispered my lines to me and I somehow managed to repeat him. Then Iadded, low, so no one else could hear me, "What are you doing here?"

He spoke his lines and we shifted again. He pulled me into his arms, whispering in my ear, "You sound surprised to see me...You saw me standing in the wing. You spoke right at me." How could I tell him I thought he was a hallucination?

I spoke my part and then he did.

"I'm sorry I'm late. I'm sorry I missed today. Please forgive me." He cut himself off, knowing he had to say his line.

"Let me be taken. Let me be put to death," he cried out to me, kissing me with each statement. I felt dizzy. Every kiss was like a bullet. Every kiss was like a gift…

"It's fine. I was just surprised. I was expecting Mike,' I scolded, quietly, not skipping a beat in the play.

"And you got me instead," he laughed, knowing that sentence was so very backwards. I would always want him instead...of anybody.

When he lifted my face, he paused for a brief second, reading my face, warning me, before his lips brushed mine. And we were kissing and I found it impossible to be rational. I tried to think of the audience, my dad, the other woman, but I was powerless to control my desire. I had to rely on Edward to guide us both through the moment. Every kiss was heavenly and worth the pain I would feel later....

"Oh, happy dagger…This is thy sheath." I plunged the prop into my side. "There rust and let me die." I let myself fall under Edward's arm, taking in everything about the moment; his touch, his smell, his strength... All too soon the Curtain went up and the play was over. He didn't have to pretend anymore and I had to truly begin.

* * *

I didn't have much time alone with him after that. I told him I was sorry for how I reacted the night before and he shrugged it off. That was about it. He didn't explain where he had been or why he had bothered coming back for that matter. Perhaps, he considered that a more 'proper' goodbye than the goodbye in my truck last night.

Charlie came and found me, singing my praises and making me blush.

"Let's go out and celebrate. That was spectacular. Brought me to tears, Bella." I hugged him tightly, knowing he loved me so much. I could never leave him alone. I knew that.

One more week and I would be out of there for two weeks. Alice and I would get one more Adventure before I had to say goodbye forever and when I came back Edward would be no more than a memory.


	9. To Lay with You is to Lie with You

EPOV

Leaving Bella's house, Edward ran all the way home. She had just ordered him away from her. How ironic, the thing he had been trying to do four months ago, she was now doing to him. It didn't feel any easier being on this end of things. The house came into view and then Alice, standing not ten feet from the door.

"Edward!" Alice's voice felt like ice water being poured on him. He actually felt colder than he already was.

"What is it?" Edward asked.

"It's Victoria. I saw her come for Bella. She wasn't alone."

In Alice's head he saw Bella leaving her house, rushing to her truck, trying to escape the frosty December morning air. In the shadows, at the edge of the woods, stood Victoria with a few others. Victoria darted our, standing mere feet from Bella, watching her. Bella slowly turned around, sensing the danger, and fell to the ground in fright, clasping her hand over her heart, letting out a panicked gasp. Victoria's red eyes bore into hers as she laughed at her fear.

From there Edward saw different versions of the future. In some Victoria talked about a mate for a mate and getting revenge. In some Bella found her voice and others she didn't breathe a word. Edward saw her get bit. He saw her get murdered, quickly and also slowly. He saw her being taken. He saw her being shared amongst the others. All the outcomes ended in disaster. He began shaking with anger. He couldn't watch but he couldn't look away.

"NO!NO!NO!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't see her before. It makes sense now, that vampire in her house, he must have been sent from her. She couldn't go in herself. She knew we would recognize her scent. She wants Bella to get back at you for James. It all makes sense, all those disappearances around here and Port Angeles. She's creating newborns; building an army...to kill us."

"She's not going to harm any of us and she will never get her. I'm going back right now."

"Do we move her? She can't stay here, not now...?"

"I think it would be better to keep things as they are. We know where they will be and how to attack them. If we change one thing, it may be for the worse. As much as I want to grab Bella and steal her away. I know we can't …Let's get everyone together. They need to know what we're up against."

* * *

After filling the family in on what Alice saw, Edward left to go watch over her. The rest of the family agreed to meet there in the morning, ready to fight.

Edward stole into Bella's room, desperate to hold her, but knowing it was impossible. He debated running away with her, but knew it was better to wait. But she couldn't be there in the morning. He had to find a way to get her clear of the danger.

"…Not just for pretend…stop acting," she ordered in her sleep, snapping him out of his thought.

"Oh, Edward stay…"

"I'm not going anywhere, Bella," he said too quiet for her to hear. He lay down beside her, but made sure not to touch her or disturb her sleep. As he lie there an idea came to him. He set Bella's clock ahead an hour. When she woke in the morning she didn't notice a difference. He called Alice and told her to bring her car and meet him at Bella's. He told her to drive Bella to school and make up some excuse for the time difference.

Once Alice took a willing, slightly confused, Bella away, the rest of the family waited for Victoria to arrive. Edward felt anxious letting Bella go with Alice, but he knew Alice would protect her if there came a need for it.

Victoria wasn't expecting the Cullen's and hadn't realized until it was too late that Bella was gone and she was being ambushed.

They easily took the newborns down, even with their added strength. The Cullens outnumbered them.

Victoria was very allusive though and managed to slip away.

Alice, Rose, and Emmett stayed behind to watch Bella and the others went after her. They spend most the day chasing her, before realizing almost too late that she was leading them into a trap. There were more Newborns waiting for them. It was a battle to get out unharmed, but they all made it unscathed.

They had to admit defeat, in a sense that they would not get her that day. Edward was furious with himself for letting Bella down, but he didn't want to put his family in danger either. They needed to stick together as a whole family to win this.

Edward arrived back and then only thing that was able to calm him down was seeing Bella's face. He went straight to the school, entering in back of the stage. Mike Newton had just come off the stage and was heading toward the costume closet to change for the next scene. Edward sneaked in quickly, grabbing what he needed and then hid just outside the door. Mike went in and Edward seized his chance, locking him inside. It would look like a simple accident.

"Where's Newton, he's on in two minutes?!" Mrs. Hall called out in a panic as Edward watched from the stage wing as Bella deliver her lines. Seeing her was able to take some of the grief and pain away.

"Oh, Edward, you made it? Do you feel well enough to go on? You look ready; did you already speak to Mike?" She spoke, rushing her words together, full of energy.

"No. I haven't seen him around here," he said and really he had only seen him in the back, so it wasn't a complete lie.

"Well, get out there. You're on," she said.

* * *

"We'll just have to keep watch and wait for Victoria to make a move. She may be too nervous to try anything soon after today.... Someone must always be on guard," Edward said to his family, save for Emmett who was keeping watch right then, as they gathered around the table.

"I think you need to tell Bella the truth," Alice cut in.

"She doesn't need to know about Victoria. It will only give her unnecessary fears and anxiety."

"I mean everything, Edward. You need to tell her how you feel. She thinks you don't love her. She thinks you want someone else. She thinks she's causing you pain by making you stay with her. You're not being fair to her!"

"Fair?! She doesn't need to know **anything**. We'll get rid of Victoria and Bella will be free to live a normal life. She's ready to move on and I won't take that away from her. THAT would be unfair, Alice."

"I agree with Edward," Rose spoke up. " Bella shouldn't know anything about our world. We can't keep drawing her back in."

"She's not just going to forget," Alice scolded.

"It isn't up for debate. Just make sure she's safe," he bit out between clenched teeth. "I'm going to go relieve Emmett." He stormed out of the house and ran, needing to be near her.


	10. I found I lost myself in search of you

Bella's eyes snapped open and flashed over to the glowing green numbers on her alarm clock. It was after 4. Her heart still felt frozen in terror from what she saw in her dreams. She forced her mind to remember it clearly before it disappeared like sand running through a sieve. There was something dark and haunting, stalking her on the edge of her mind, but she couldn't see it clearly. She saw her green jacket and her book bag slung over her shoulder. Then a large figure came into view, engulfing her. Emmett. She saw his Jeep and Alice dancing toward her, catching her eye, drawing her to her. She saw…red…a flame of red hair…and then it was gone. She gasped; her heart racing. She was remembering the dream, but so much more.

"Alice," she whispered into her empty bedroom. She looked at the clock again and quickly got up.

She changed, brushed her hair and teeth, trying to keep herself occupied, frustrated for answers.

She decided she couldn't wait. She decided she was going to break that silly rule. She wasn't going there for him…okay, maybe a little, but she needed to know.

She ran down the stairs and hopped in her cab, hoping Charlie wouldn't be woken up by the noise.

* * *

She knew they would already be waiting for her, whether they heard her truck or Alice's vision, so she didn't feel too bad barging in. Though she assumed Edward wouldn't be too pleased to see her there. He had asked her to stay away from the house.

Esme was there opening the door for her before she reached the final step.

"Come in, Bella. You must be freezing."

Bella stepped in, trying to hold firm to her anger, believing she was being lied to. The last few days, something was noticeably up, but no one would tell her. They insisted on treating her like a child. It was infuriating.

"I need to speak to Alice," she said glancing around the faces in the room.

First she saw Edward, watching her carefully. Next she saw Rosalie and Emmett, sitting together very close. Then another face caught her attention. One she had never seen before.

She was beautiful, for sure. Her beauty was enough to hold its own against Rosalie's; ringlets of strawberry blonde, framing a delicate, yet stunning face. She stood near Edward, half concealed behind him, through his effort or her own, it was unclear.

"She's out hunting with the others. They should be back soon if you want to wait," Esme said sweetly.

"What are you doing here, Bella? We agreed you would stay away from the house." She looked over to see Edward grimacing.

"I know, but I need to speak to Alice. I knew you'd be up…" She spoke as evenly as possible, surprising even herself with the small joke at the end. But her voice was despondent all the way through. Her weary eyes managed to escape Edward's gaze as she took in the stranger once more.

She was so perfect, Bella thought, thinking herself delusional for ever allowing herself to believe he could have wanted her, even for a second. The stranger began to step forward and Bella caught her breath. At the same time Edward reached his hand, taking hold of the girl's arm, keeping her still.

Bella looked down at his hand on her arm and the girl mimicked her, but much more gracefully, Bella thought. The girl turned to face him more and Bella watched their interaction very carefully. Her eyes searched his and then she smiled, causing a small smile to grace his lips as he nodded at her.

Bella wondered, desperately, what she was telling him in her mind. It was killing her not to know the secret communication going on between them before her very eyes.

Then she turned to Bella, stepping forward and extending her hand for Bella to shake.

"Hello, Bella. My name is Tanya. I'm an old friend of the Cullens. I have heard much about you and it is nice to finally meet you."

The words poured out sweetly from her silky voice. She was nice too, Bella thought with dread. She must think I'm beyond pathetic, she silently added, dismally.

"You too," she tried not to sound disappointed. "I'm sorry I interrupted…I guess I really didn't think," she said quickly, now feeling completely humiliated.

"Bella! You _are_ here! I thought I smelled you. See Jazz," Alice said teasingly, as the rest of the family came in.

Was it Bella's imagination or did Edward suddenly tense up even more?

"Alice, what happened the other day after school?"

"To what are you referring, Bella?"

"I thought it was weird when Emmett suddenly tackled me and forced me into his car, asking to take me home, but I couldn't think of a reasonable explanation, so I went with the whole 'Emmett missed spending time with you' thing, but—"

"Hey, no fair. I did miss hanging out with you," Emmett broke in, wounded.

"What was going on that day? You were all acting weird and tonight I had a dream. Everything was the same as before, but I saw something. I remembered something. I saw…in my dream, it was like a burning flame, but everything was sort of out of focus. I was distracted. But it got clearer. Four one second I saw it clearly. It wasn't a flame really at all…It was her wasn't it. She's back?" Bella asked, referring to Victoria. "It wasn't just a dream…"

Everyone looked at Bella with sympathetic eyes and she just wanted to scream. They could make her feel so weak, so easily, without even meaning to.

"No, Bell. It was just a dream. Victoria hasn't been here since last spring," Alice told her calmly.

"You promise?"

"Of course."

"…Then why…why are you all acting so strangely? I know you're keeping something from me. You think I'm really this dumb, even for a human?" She was frustrated.

"No one thinks that Bella," Alice said sternly, throwing her brother a cold glare.

"…But I do remember seeing someone in the parking lot, through the trees. There was someone there …it wasn't my imagination. I saw her fiery hair…" Bella explained, almost babbling to herself.

"It was me you saw." Bella's head shot up to see the new girl, Tanya, appraising her. "I was eager to see my friends and got a little careless, coming a little too close to everyone. They thought you might see me, so they distracted you, while they told me to meet them here."

"Oh." She thought that over, something not settling in her mind…until it clicked.  
"Why did they want to keep you from me? They didn't think you would hurt me?"

"Of course not Bella," Esme said, sincerely.

"…Then…" Bella challenged.

"We just, we've been trying to keep your life separated from any part of our world and Tanya is part of it," Alice offered, but Bella didn't care to be lied to anymore. She understood who Tanya was and why she was kept a secret. And she knew at last, for absolute certainty that she could not compete.

"I guess that makes sense," Bella said slowly, coming to terms with reality.

"And I really did want to drive you home. It was nice catching up," Emmett added.

"You don't have to try and convince me Emmett, I believe you," Bella replied, trying for a smile. "I guess I over reacted from my dream…they can be so intense. Lately, they've just been worse than ever."

"They're only dreams, Bella. They can't hurt you," Edward told her, his voice tender.

"I'm just stressed. Examines and all. Just have to get through today and then I'm free…Two weeks," she added, "And seeing my mom again. It's just what I need."

"I've already got you all packed," Alice told her, brightly. "In a little over 24 hours we will be on our way to sunny Florida."

"Too bad you can't come out to enjoy all that sunny-ness, not in the direct sunlight that is, which seeing as its Florida, I'm thinking we will have a lot of it."

"Hey, I am a sweet loveable normal teenage girl, who happens to be allergic to the sun," Alice said playfully.

"Let's just hope Renee buys that."

"Don't worry, we'll get enough overcast that I won't be stuck inside all two weeks working on my 'lit essay'.

"I guess it pays to know the future."

* * *

EPOV

Bella left for school that morning on her own. I ran with her, listening for anything she might say out loud to know how she was feeling. I paid attention to her all day, but she was stubborn and refused to give anything away. But I could tell even still, she was upset with me. She refused to look at me, or communicate in any way with me. It was impossibly frustrating. I just wanted to grab her and tell her: I'm doing this for you. I'm trying to save you; protect you! Why can't you see that and accept it!?

I felt her waking and moved to conceal myself from her before she saw me. She had had another nightmare but this one was different. She didn't go back to bed, like the times before. Something was plaguing her and I tried desperately to hear what it was.

Then she was leaving, on her way to our house. I beat her there and let the others know she was coming. At least I would have the relief of knowing what she was finally thinking.

If I was smart I would have cut Bella off before she had entered the house, but I had heard the longing in Esme's mind to see Bella again and couldn't deny my mother that gift, especially if it was the last time she would see her.

I was so concerned about Victoria and Bella's nightmares that I didn't think of what Bella would assume, until it was too late to go back.

The second Bella looked at Tanya, I knew Alice had been correct in Bella's absurd belief that I had fallen for another. When Tanya and Kate came here to help with our cause I had overheard in Tanya's head that she thought it might be easier for Bella to move on, if she thought I had moved on. Selfishly, I never wanted to lie to Bella in this way. Tanya apologized for thinking it, knowing it made me uneasy, but I had to entertain the idea that it might help.

Alice didn't agree, but Alice wanted me to come clean about my true feelings and force myself in Bella's life, which I couldn't do.

Every action, every word and look was practically shouting my love her Bella, but she was too blinded by the lie to see it.

When I grabbed for Tanya's arm, I did it out of irrational fear. I saw the look of fear on Bella's face and just reacted. I knew Tanya wasn't going to hurt her, but I couldn't take the chance until I heard Tanya's thought confirming what I knew. She only wanted to introduce herself; I _had_ overreacted. Then I realized why Bella had looked that way. She eyed the way I held Tanya's arm. She had misunderstood my motive.

Then when Bella asked for the truth I denied her again and only hurt her more. I could have cut Tanya off before she lied about being there, but I didn't. Maybe this plan would work better if Bella believed the heinous lie. We were only trying to convince Victoria that I had moved on from Bella, but maybe Bella truly would be safer if she too believed I had found another.

* * *

Five days Earlier~

"The Denali's are on their way. They want to help," Carlisle announced, gathering us around the table. Alice was with Bella, so I was only mostly anxious and distressed.

We were gathering all our friends to take down the newborns and Victoria before things got out of control. Alice was taking Bella to Florida in a few days and I of course would be there as well, in secret. Anything Victoria did, Alice would see and we would protect Bella from harm. That was the plan.

* * *

(four days earlier) EPOV

"She showed up to the school Alice! She was right there!"

"I know Edward, but we got Bella our safe. More people are coming to help us. We'll be ready."

"No, Alice. I won't tell her. This will be over soon. Telling her would be completely selfish on my part," I shouted, reading her thoughts.

"You really think you're going to be able to leave her when the time comes?"

"No…but I'll let her be. I'll never reveal myself to her. It is the only gift I can give her."

"She would rather have you."

"She'll want other things eventually," I said softly, tired of this same old argument with my sister.

* * *

(same day; later that night EPOV)

"Thank you for doing this, Tanya. You're a great friend to us."

_Friend…_I could hear the dissonant tone in her mind.

"You don't understand why I love her."

_No, that's not it…I can't help feel sorry that it isn't me. I'm sorry. I know we talked about this…_

"Don't be sorry. You're risking your life for us. It is I who should be sorry."

_It doesn't seem fair. To hide from the one you love, for the rest of her life. There has to be another way…_

"I won't destroy her."

"Edward, you can't think of it like that."

"She deserves better than me."

_You're crazy to think there is better…_

* * *

(One Night Earlier EPOV)

I ran hard, seeing Victoria flash out in front of me, with two newborns flanking her.

She turned on me suddenly. It was four on four. She had her three newborns, eyeing us and I had Jasper, Emmett, Rose and Tanya with me. We had a plan. Our first objective was to kill Victoria and her creations, but we had a backup plan in case we didn't get her. We needed to confuse her.

Victoria started forward and I positioned myself in front of Tanya, protectively, growling at Victoria. The other's took down the newborns, while I targeted Victoria. Her eyes went wide as she saw the way I protected Tanya from her. I only hoped it was enough to plant a seed of doubt. If she didn't feel she needed Bella anymore, Bella would be a little bit safer till this was over.

She threw out words challenging me. Asking me about Tanya and I fed her the lie. I lunged at her, victory in my grasp, but suddenly the wolves showed up, causing more chaos. Victoria was able to escape and I wasn't sure she believed our performance, but it was worth a shot. If she doubted my love for Bella, she would have no need for her.

Tanya was strong and capable of taking care of herself I a battle. She saw my pain and agreed to help, but I knew I couldn't give her the one thing she wanted when this whole thing was over. I could not surrender my heart, even if it did refuse to beat.

* * *

(That night BPOV)

Bella only had to pack a carry-on bag, knowing Alice already took care of the rest. She zipped up her bag and sat down on her bed, focusing on steadying her breath. She knew running away to Florida wasn't going to stop the image of Tanya and Edward together, but she tried to make herself believe there was hope she could forget.

She put in a movie, trying to distract herself. She was surprised when she felt warm tears running down her cheeks, having nothing to do with the movie. The shock must have been starting to wear off and the large gap in her chest grew with every breath.

The knock on the window startled her some and she tried to wipe her tears away, but knew it was hopeless. She walked slowly to the window and slid it open before turning just as slowly and making her way back to her bed, to pretend to watch the movie.

Edward was already on her bed before she made a full turn. Why he even bothered knocking was beyond her.

"You're crying…?"

"It's the movie," she lied, sitting down and looking absorbed in the film. "…I guess you're here to say goodbye then," she guess, not looking at him.

"If that's what you want me to do." His voice confused her. Why did he sound so torn? He must have felt terrible guilt for breaking her. But she realized something she hoped would help him.

"I would never take it back, not a second of the time together, even in the ballet studio, not if it meant not ever knowing you," she said with a sense of urgency in her voice.

"She's very sweet; beautiful," she suddenly spoke up in the silence. She peered over at him, to judge his reaction. He seemed uncomfortable.

"I want you to be happy, Edward. I hope she makes you happy," she explained, reassuring him. She tried to smile, but was certain she couldn't pull it off.

"I want nothing more than for you to be happy as well," he breathed out, his face to close for her own good.

"Take care of yourself Edward," she asked, reversing their usual roles. He was super human, it should be much easier for him.

" And take care of that blush for me. I'm really going to miss seeing it," he smiled, making her heart do flips and of course her blush to spread.

"That's the one," he teased.

"So I guess this is it then…this is goodbye…" she half asked.

"It would appear that way," he replied ever so carefully.

"Could I ask one more small favor?" she whispered, her face daringly close to his.

"What is it?"

"Could you sing me my lullaby, just till I fall asleep? One last time?"

"I would be honored," he said smoothly, helping her under the covers. He didn't move or seem bothered when she tucked her head under his arms, pressing herself into his as he softly began to sing…

* * *

Bella woke up alone, feeling the warmth, which her dream had held drain from her, but last night hadn't only been made up of dreams. Edward had been there and sang to her, her song. It felt like death knowing he was lost to her forever, but she had to carry on and make it through, not for herself but for everyone else she loved so dearly.

Alice was there, her same old bubbly and lively spirit, ready to start their adventure. It hurt a little less, knowing Edward was gone, having Alice there. She was determined to make the next couple weeks with Alice impossible to forget. She would try to focus on the happy things…the positive things. She willed herself to be strong.

* * *

Ending the chapter here, sorry if it seems abrupt, but I don't want to just ramble. The story will pick up, losing some time, but not much…more situations that force Bella and Edward together…will he finally be forced to tell the truth as well? Or perhaps he will do it on his own submission…hmmmm, you'll have to wait and see. Please review for me! thanks


	11. Dying in the Moonlight

Okay hey there. So this chapter is kind of a funny one in the way I wrote it. I think it will be super confusing but I'll try to help. I was listening to this song the other day and couldn't help myself by creating this. I didn't intend for it to be this long but this is what came out of it. I hope it doesn't get too confusing or feel annoying to you..the fic can stand without it, its just something I felt like adding.( and I like)

So this chapter moves the story forward and then goes backward too. It is from Bella's view and then Edwards view at different times. The lyrics kind of separate the time and places and views, hopefully that helps.

Bold is the lyrics/ song that is playing at different times in different scenes throughout this chapter. Italic is past and normal font is present.

I hope that helps. Please enjoy and as always review and tell me what you thought.

* * *

Bella pushed through the heavy wooden door. Angela following right behind her.

"Wow, this place is so cool. I can't believe I've never been here before. I'm going to go check out their biography section. I've been on a huge biography kick lately."

Bella nodded, returning her smile. "I'll meet you over there. Just going to browse the fiction section," she said, thinking she needed a good escape from reality. She easily found her way, having been to this little used bookstores many times before.

Her eyes scrutinized the sideways writing on the covers of the books. Not many new selections since her last visit, which was before the trip to visit her mom a week ago. Before he left…

_Stop it, Bella._

She silently chastised herself for the slip. It was only her 8th one that day, her 8th plus or minus 9 billion. He went back with…her, she continued to remember, though she wished she would forget. She had to forget to remember or remember how to forget.

But Alice had decided to stay until the year was out. It was a small relief and comfort and also the biggest.

She was determined to press forward and be strong. Which meant she had to make a huge effort not to neglect the people around her, who loved her and who she loved dearly. Like Angela, who had been one of the greatest friends ever to her.

Her head glanced out the window, noticing movement.

_Edward! No…that's just a meter maid._

She had to remember he was really gone.

"Look, a book about Benjamin Franklin. Don't tell anyone, but I'm kind of obsessed."

"Is that why you agreed to date, Ben?" Bella joked. "It was about his name the whole time?"

"Ha. Very funny," Angela replied, rolling her eyes and snorting."Mere coincidence," she scoffed.

"Eh, what's in a name, anyways?" Bella asked almost reflectively, then regretted it, as images of Edward and her on stage suddenly invaded her mind and squeezed her heart.

_**She was a middle class girl…She was in over her head…She thought she would  
stand up in the deep end.  
**_

"Oh, I love this song! This place is seriously so awesome. Tom Waits is sick," Angela softly exclaimed, snapping Bella from her reverie.

"Huh, oh, I don't…know it." She pretended to sift through the bookshelf in search of something. Her mind wandering back, far back, to what could have been another universe, as the melody hit her ears.

_Bella sighed with frustration; turning up her music to distract her…It wasn't helping, either._

"_You know I would get this done a whole lot faster if you would stop doing that," she said in a huff, not looking up from her assignment. Edward was sitting on her bed, watching her as she sat at her computer desk, trying to focus. _

"_Doing what?" he asked, innocently._

"_Looking at me like that," she replied with clear frustration in her voice._

"_You haven't looked up in the last hour Bella, how do you know how I'm looking at you?"_

"_I just do, okay," she said slightly exasperated, finally meeting his eyes._

"_I'm sorry. I didn't know I was causing so much of a problem. I can go if you like," he teased._

"_No," she said forcefully. "That would not be a very good solution."_

"_Well, what do you suggest?"_

"_Me…? I've got nothing. Maybe if you close your eyes and sat very still. That might work," she suggested. Edward did exactly as he was instructed, sitting back, a true to life Greek statue. A small smile played on his lips. Bella got up slowly and moved over to the bed, crawling up toward him. She ran her hand over his mouth before kissing him softly._

"_I guess it didn't work," he said playfully, opening his eyes, and running his hand down her jaw._

"_This works for me…" she smiled, kissing him again._

_**She was a middle class girl…She was in over her head…She thought she would  
stand up in the deep end.**_

_**  
He had a bullet proof smile…He had money to burn…She thought she had the moon in her pocket.**_

_**But now she's dead…She's so dead…Forever dead and lovely, now.**_

"_You always study to such depressing music," he commented, using it as an excuse to distract her, before things went too far._

_She knew what he was doing, but took the bait anyways._

"_I love this song…it's hauntingly beautiful. The melody seeps into your bones and lingers there after it's over.  
_

_  
__**I've always been told to Remember this...Don't let a fool kiss you...Never marry for love.**_

_**He was hard to impress…He knew everyone's secrets.**_

_**He wore her on his arm…Just like jewelry.**_

_**He never gave but he got…He kept her on a leash.**_

_**  
He's not the kind of wheel You fall asleep at.**_

_  
__**But now she's dead…Forever dead…Forever dead and lovely now.**__  
_

Edward strode through the piano room, hoping Alice would let him pass in peace. He wasn't in the mood to talk, not to anyone. The one person he wanted to talk to thought he had moved to Alaska to be with another woman. He stepped into the piano room, the familiar tune getting louder. He turned his head to see Alice and Jasper completely lost in one another, moving in a waltz step to the rhythm of the music. A very solid memory capturing his attention instantly.

_  
__**Come closer, look deeper…You've fallen fast…Just like a plane on a…stormy sea.  
She made up someone to be.  
She made up somewhere to be from.  
This is one business in the World where that's no Problem at all**__._

"_Dance with me, Bella," he said, getting up from her bed and helping her to her feet. She went into his arms, easily._

"_I really should finish my work."_

"_Anything to get out of dancing?" He began moving her around the room before she could think of an excuse.  
_

"_Eh, it's not so bad..with you," she said playfully. "I think I could put up with just about any miserable situation, as long as you were there with me ," she added, as he pulled her closer.  
_

_**Everything that is left…They will only plow under  
Soon every one you know Will be gone**_

Bella shook her head, Angela's voice coming to the forefront of her mind once again. She realized she had been asking her a question.

"What? Sorry, I dazed out there for a moment."

"I said, you should think about it. The double date with Ben and me. I mean Mike isn't all that bad a guy and he really likes you…"

"Oh...ummm…"

_  
__**And now she's dead…Forever dead…Forever dead and lovely now**_

As Edward stepped across the floor the words jolted him and the image that slipped from Alice's mind, not that he needed Alice to see it. The image stung deeply. What almost happened that morning. He slammed the door, breaking it off its hinges, as he saw the vision clearly.

"Sorry," he heard Alice say in her head for her slip. She tried not to think about what almost happened that day when she was around Edward, but just seeing him made her think of Bella and then the situation Edward insisted them being in, out of his stubbornness. It was driving him mad and her insane with worry.

_**Now she's dead…Forever dead…Forever dead and lovely now**_

_**I've always been told to Remember this...Don't let a kiss fool you.  
Never marry for love.**_

"_I'm up. I'm up…" Bella moaned as the radio alarm sounded. For a second she forgot that she wasn't in Forks. She looked around her temporary room at her mom's place, as comprehension washed over her. "Who set the alarm so early?" she mumbled into her pillow._

_**Everything has its price ... Everything has its place.**_

_**What's more romantic  
Then dying in the moonlight?**__  
_

"_I'm going for walk on the beach, do you want to come?" her mother asked, popping her head into the room, seeing that her daughter was awake. Alice lay beside her, pretending to sleep._

"_It's early," she stated, as though her mother was unaware of this fact._

"_I know, best time to go."_

"_It's still dark out."_

"_So?"_

"_It's unnatural to get up on a Saturday morning of vacation when it's still dark out," she huffed. Her mother gave her an exaggerated look. "Walk or run?" she asked, clarifying._

"_We can just walk. I know your clumsiness."_

"_Sure, mom. Let me just throw something on." _

"_Will you be alright on your own?" Bella asked, out of courtesy, turning to face Alice._

"_Of course. I need to call Jasper anyways. Spend some quality time with your mom."_

"_Thanks, Alice." _

_After Bella left, Alice got out her phone, the music droning on in the background, seeping into Alice's consciousness, as though foretelling of something.  
__**  
Now they're all watching the sea…What's lost can never be broken  
Her roots were sweet…But they were so shallow**_

_Suddenly Alice went very still, all thought expelled from her mind, aside from what she was foreseeing._

_She saw Bella walking on the beach, alone. Her mother off in the distance, looking back at her with a smile. Bella waved, smiling, trudging along. Then something dark came into view. A shadow creeping up on her. Bella turned, her face frozen in terror by what she saw. It was swift. _

_Then Alice saw herself running to Bella's aid. Cradling Bella in her arms as she bled, helplessly. _

"_Alice…?" Bella asked her. Her eyes were glazing over as she stared up at the dimly lit sky. _

"_Bella!" Edward called, shouting her name in agony. He was now coming into view, running at a blinding speed._

"_What's more romantic, then dying in the moonlight?" Bella breathed out, her voice fading. She still managed to sound derisive, in her weakening state and appeared to be questioning the moon itself. Alice looked up at it, bitterly, as though it were to blame for the tragedy, before fixing her eyes back on Bella._

"_No, Bella, stay with me."_

"_Bella," Edward said. "Bella?" His voice was heartbreaking. "I'm sorry. I thought I had her. I had her right there and then she was gone…Bella, no, no, no. Please don't leave me," he begged, pulling her to him. Her eyes closed and her heartbeat faded even more. _

_Then the vision dissolved and Alice snapped out of her trance, moving into action very quickly._

"_Edward," she spoke sternly into the phone. "Don't go after Victoria. You need to get to Bella, Now. You need to get to the beach. I'm on my way."_

"_What did you see?" he asked, a dangerous violence laced in his velvety voice._

"_I saw her attack again. If we don't get her out of there. We can't keep this up forever and you know it." It was the last thing she said before she heard the phone click._

_**And now she's dead…Forever dead…Forever dead and lovely now**_

_**And now she's dead…Forever dead…And she's so dead and lovely now**_

Edward kept moving, away from the lovely couple and the hauntingly beautiful song. He'd fix the door later, he thought, momentarily feeling guilty for his overreaction. He couldn't help his mood swings lately. He had to get out of there. He had to run. He had to see her. He would wait for her to fall asleep of course before he got close, but he had to be near. It was too painful to be away from her. He knew Alice had been right that morning. They couldn't do this forever. He couldn't risk the chance of Alice missing something; of being too late. All it took was one slip; one mistake, and she could be lost to him…forever.

*

Bella set her new used book on her desk and crawled into bed, exhausted from the day, from keeping up her pretense. She pulled out her earphones, flipping through her music selection till she found the song that had been running through her mind all day. She lay back, letting the dour sound wrap around her bones, perhaps holding them together.

**She was a middle class girl. She was in over her head. She thought she would stand up in the deep end. He had a bullet proof smile. He had money to burn. She thought she had the moon in her pocket...**


	12. chain link and meters

_Because your candle burns too bright  
Well I almost forgot it was twilight  
Even if I think that you are right  
Well I'm tired of being down, I got no fight _

_BPOV  
_

* * *

"I brought meatloaf. You really have been working too long of hours lately and you shouldn't neglect your health," Bella laughed, walking into Charlie's office. She tried to seem lighthearted but the look her gave her made her think she was terrible at pretending.

Then Jacob and Billy came into view and the look took on new meaning. Her smile quickly faltered.

"What happened?" she asked, surveying their faces.

"Embry is missing. He's been missing since last night. We're going to put out a search party. I'm going to go with Billy and help him tonight, are you going to be okay?"

"…Yeah, of course. I hope you find him," she replied softly, trying to wrap my mind around what her father was telling her and what she knew about Embry and the others. She looked over at Jake, who looked over and caught her questioning eyes. Then he suddenly went very tense, not seeing her at all.

"You should probably get home, both of you. Jacob if you hear something let us know immediately," Charlie said.

"Actually, can Bella come over and wait with me?" he asked, taking Bella by the arm, ready to lead her away. As soon as Charlie gave the okay, he pulled her along, not waiting for her response.

"Jake!" she said as he pushed her into his car and closed the door.

"Jake, what's going on?"

"Vampires. They're near. I needed to get you out of here."

"What? Who are they?" she wondered. It might just be the Cullen's.

"Does it matter? Vampires are dangerous. You're coming home with me until your dad gets back."

"I can't come with you. I'm…not supposed to."

"Huh?" he said, giving her a funny look.

"I just made someone a promise…"

"Well you don't have a choice, so deal with it."

"Where's Embry?" she asked, changing the subject.

"If I knew do you think I would be here with you?!"

"But I thought you guys were connected, can't you see where he is?"

"No. That's what's so scary. He isn't phasing anymore. We can't hear him anymore and I know someone has him…or had him."

"Do you think they killed him?" She had to ask.

"If they did, they will regret it for the rest of their very short lives."

When they pulled up to the house, there were two, boys…or men, waiting for them.

"Bella, you remember Paul…and this is Sam," Jake introduced the group. Bella was surprised by how Paul looked since the last time she saw him, much bigger than before, as did Jake himself she noticed.

"So, what happened out there?" Jake asked as soon as introductions were through.

"We ran into two of them. They were hanging out by the station. They must have wanted to know what we heard. It was them. I told you Jake," Paul exclaimed animatedly.

"Did they admit it?"

"Of course not. The blond was very nasty, acting like she had no clue about Embry. The big one actually tried to defend them, like they're innocent," Paul said.

"We don't know for sure it was them," Sam cut in.

"Then why were they there?" Paul asked hotly.

"Wait, you saw Rosalie and Emmett?" Bella asked confused.

"Who cares what their names are. The Cullen's are trouble. I always knew it," Paul bit out angrily.

"They are not trouble! They wouldn't hurt Embry. It wasn't them," Bella defended.

"You should have let me finish them off," Paul added, thinking of the encounter.

"You hurt them?!" Bella shouted.

"Relax Bella, no one got hurt," Sam explained. "We'll find Embry soon."

"I'll talk to them. I'll see what they know," Bella offered, knowing they wouldn't have hurt Embry, but trying to calm the pack down.

* * *

Bella nervously bit her lip. Walking over to the Cullen table was not an easy feat, not when she was going to speak to Rosalie.

"Can we talk?" she asked, not sitting down.

"About where you went last night?" Alice cut in sounding judgmental.

"Actually Alice, I was hoping to speak to Rosalie," she explained shyly, knowing that this would hurt more than the knowledge of where she was the night before.

"Rose?" they all said together.

"Yes, if that's okay." She knew out of all of them, Rose was the one most likely to be honest with her, brutally honest in fact. She also happened to be one of the two at the station the night before.

"Fine…but not here. I'll come over after school."

"Thank you," Bella said before turning and walking back to her table.

* * *

"You don't look good."

"Thank you Rosalie," Bella replied dryly, shifting uncomfortably in her chair as Rose walked into her room.

"I just mean you look tired. You need to get more sleep. Seriously, he's not worth all this."

"You don't know anything about it," Bella snapped, her outburst surprising them both.

"You need to forget about him, Bella and find someone more suited for yourself."

"I know," Bella said softly, thinking she understood Rosalie's message. She never thought Bella was good enough for her family.

"You have no idea how amazing your life is. You're lucky."

"I don't feel lucky."

"Well you should. I would give anything to be in your place, human I mean. My life was stolen from me. You have a chance Bella—"

"What do you mean, stolen?" she asked, curiously.

Rosalie began to explain to Bella what happened to her and how she ended up as a vampire. It was a very tragic story that made Bella feel she understood Rosalie a little better.

"So, you see…you shouldn't take what you have for granted. Stop living in the past. Edward. Is. Not. Coming. Back."

"I get it, okay. He doesn't want me."

"No, he doesn't. He doesn't Bella. He left you, so stop crying yourself to sleep at night and stop walking around like the living dead, ignoring everyone around you. Quit letting these moments slip by because you don't get another chance!" she yelled, her words meaning to do good.

"Did you fight Sam and Paul yesterday? Do you know where Embry is?" Bella suddenly asked, darkly.

"The dogs? They came after us, accusing us of nonsense, wanting to fight. Is that what you wanted to talk about?"

"Yes. I want to know if you know anything. Did something happen? If it was an accident…I won't say anything to them. I wouldn't do that to you guys."

"We didn't harm the pup. He probably got tired of being forced to listen to those guys and left on his own accord. I'm sure he's fine."

When Rosalie left, Bella knew two things for certain. The Cullen's didn't take Embry and Edward was definitely never coming back to her.

She went to her sanctuary, the shower, to cry away the pain and exhaust herself into hopefully sleeping the night through.

* * *

_When I am king, you will be first against the wall_  
_ with your opinion which is of no consequence at all_

EPOV

"You let her go with them?! I knew I shouldn't have left her. I leave for an hour and you let the dogs take her with them?!" Edward asked, furiously.

"She's fine. What is the big deal? WE were the ones attacked. We're fine by the way," Rose shot back.

"Edward, you needed to hunt. You can't be around Bella 24/7. You're running yourself ragged. I know you don't want to hear this but it's over. This crazy idea you have for protecting her from all this. You have to admit defeat," Alice told him calmly.

"Do you think it was Victoria?" Emmett asked, regarding Embry.

"Who else? They question is why? What happened? Did he stumble upon her and try to take her on?" Alice asked.

"If that's the case, I think it's safe to say he didn't survive," Edward responded.

"You shouldn't have yelled at her, Rose," Edward added, seeing the fight in her head. "Why did you say those things?"

"Are you kidding me? I'm the one who had to sit with her the last couple nights. Listening to her crying, waking up from those nightmares, screaming. Hearing her beg you to come back…it's sick. It's annoying…But I _was_ just trying to help…kindness through cruelty. She needed to hear it."

"It wasn't your place. Just leave her alone."

"Fine, Edward. I'll leave her alone. I won't waste MY time babysitting her, making sure no evil thing attacks her."

"Rose, come on. You know what he meant. He's upset. Try and understand where he's coming from," Emmett chimed in.

"I think I'm starting to agree with Alice. As crazy as it sounds. It isn't right to keep her so in the dark and it's not doing either one of you any good being apart," Rose added, astounded with her realization.

"Maybe we should put it to a vote," Emmett offered, cracking a smile.

"No!" Edward roared. "Alice, will you look?" He asked. She knew he meant look into Bella's future to make sure she was safe.

Edward saw Bella's future through Alice's eyes. Bella going to school, at home with Charlie, hanging out with her friends, a double date with Mike Newton, he saw her in tons of situations, like a music video playing before his eyes without the soundtack. She seemed…content and well.

"It's odd I don't see Victoria anywhere. Bella appears to be safe for the next few months."

"Perhaps Victoria is busy preparing a new army of minions," Jasper said darkly.

"We can't just sit back and do nothing. We have to find her first," Rose said.

"I know, but I can't get any handle on her whatsoever. How do we find her?" Alice asked.

"We need to do something before the Volturi come here and handle this their own way," Carlisle said.

"Would they bother us?" Alice asked.

"They might not like someone outside our world knowing about us," Carlisle explained.

"Bella."

"We won't let it get that far. We'll find her and destroy her. And nothing changes with Bella. We won't let her out of our sights," Edward said as calmly as he could; his final word on the situation.

* * *

_Could you put a face to someone else's sigh. _

_Could you put a name to someone else's eyes._

_ Is it someone that you maybe'd recongnize, but it all fades into morning, when you open your eyes._

BPOV

"How many more stores are you planning on hitting before we get to leave?" Bella asked, half kidding and half seriously. "I was thinking we could just grab a movie for tonight. I'll even let you do a make-over and I'll try and stay up all night this time," she joked, but Alice oddly didn't seem to be paying attention.

"Alice…Alice? I was kidding we can shop all night if you want, though I think the stores close in an hour."

"Let's go. We can go now," she said, hooking her arm in Bella's and walking.

"Alice, I wasn't serious. We can go to more stores. I'll try on whatever you want."

"No, let's go. I'm all shopped out I think."

"What?!" Bella asked alarmed. That was not something that she would expect out of Alice's mouth.

"The movie and make over thing sounds good. Let's hurry before the store closes." She was pulling Bella along at this point and Bella didn't know what to make of her behavior. Since school got out two weeks ago, she was on edge, waiting for the day Alice told her they were all leaving They didn't talk about it though and certainly not Edward.

*

"Alice, slow down, would you. I'm fairly breakable if you forgot," Bella complained, noticing the speed of the car.

"Sorry, just excited about the make-over," she responded apologetically, but she didn't seem to slow down much.

"Wait Alice, where are you going. My house is the other way. It looks like we're going to your place."

"Well, that's because we are."

"But I promised…him I wouldn't. We should just go to mine."

"I need to get something. Don't worry, Bella. It will be fine."

*

"Aren't you coming in?"

"I think I should just wait here," Bella said. It was hard to see everyone and be there with all her memories.

"Get out of the car, Bella," Alice ordered.

Alice led her inside. Almost instantly the family appeared before them, seeming surprised to see her their but happy. Esme, Carlisle, and Emmett all giving her big hugs.

And then Edward stepped in, looking fervent and severe.

"Edward!?" Bella shouted in shock.

"Hello, Bella…"

"What…I…" she stuttered.

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" she asked confused.

"I promised you would never see me again. I'm home for a few days, visiting my family…"

"Don't be sorry. This is your home. I shouldn't even be here…Alice why am I here?"

"Because you're not safe, Bella. I didn't want to alarm you but if I hadn't acted quickly and gotten you out of there, you might not be here in any sense of the word."

"I don't understand."

"We've been keeping something from you, Bella and we shouldn't have but we wanted to protect you. Victoria is back and she wants revenge."

"Oh…" Bella couldn't think of what else to say. It still didn't make sense what was going on.

"She wants your life Bella, in exchange for what we did to James last year. A mate for a mate, so to speak."

"But…things are different now. Why does she care about me?"

"She isn't satisfied that things really have changed. She's got it in her head that this is the best revenge and she won't turn back.

"How long?"

"November…we've tried to get her, but she's very elusive. But we will get her," Alice reinforced.

"Alice, what exactly happened tonight?" Jasper asked, while Edward just looked like he was having a terrible headache.

I saw a vision of taking Bella to her house. In the vision, I didn't see anyone but I could sense a presence coming near and then everything went black. I couldn't get a read on Bella's future at all, so I looked at Edward's instead and I saw that…" she didn't continue speaking but she must have thought about it because Edward's face twisted in agony.

"So I decided to bring her here and her future cleared right up."

"What did you see Alice?" Bella demanded, unsure why she looked to Edward's future.

"He saw Victoria come after the woman he loves and take her away, Bella," Alice told her with an evasive tone.

"When can I go back home?"

Alice looked at Edward carefully. "We can't let you go back home, Bella. It isn't safe for you."

"But Charlie. No! He can't be left alone. I have to go home. She wants me, right? This is crazy. You cannot risk your lives for me."

"Bella, please. We are not worried about Victoria doing anything to us. And your father will be fine. It's you we need to worry about and protect," Carlisle explained to her tenderly.

"We should leave in the morning," Alice told them.

"Where are we going?" Bella asked, wearily.

_Oh, god, I hope SHE doesn't come with us,_ Bella thought with a panic.

"You'll see. And try not to worry Bella. Now that you know. This is all going to be a lot easier to do," Alice told her warmly, misunderstanding her pained face.

But Bell wasn't so sure. She was being hunted. She was forcing the Cullen's to stick out their necks for her; forcing Edward back into her life. And she didn't even know where she was being taken to.

On the other hand she had her family back in a sense and had Edward back, for whatever reason. Sometimes being a danger magnet paid off.

* * *

The plot thickens! Ha…please review and thanks for reading


	13. The Minute That You Hold Me In

_Some boys— take a __**beau**__-__**ti**__-__**ful**__ girl  
Oh, and they hide her away from the rest of the world.  
Well, not me—I wanna be the one in the sun.  
Girls—they— wanna have fun. Oh, girls, they…it's all they really waa-aah-aant…_

* * *

"Would you like anything, a pillow or blanket…Ma'am? Ma' am?"

"A Blanket I think would be wonderful, thank you," I heard his velvety voice say and woke up from my trance to see a flight attendant standing over us.

"Oh, sorry. What was the question?"

"She asked if you needed anything," he told me, wrapping the blanket snugly around me.

"Thank you," I replied to both of them.

"Are you alright?" he whispered, when she had left us. I thought about the question.

**(Author's notes: When Bella went home, Renee told her she was pregnant and expecting. Charlie is moving in with Sue for the summer while Bella is away as a trial living arrangement...so in a sense they are very content while she is away for the summer...which she okay-ed with them before she went...)**

Was I alright? How could I be alright? Any minute disaster could strike.

"I'm as alright as I think is possible," I replied slowly. "I would feel a lot better if I knew where I was going. It's bad enough I have to lie to Charlie about this summer and disrupt your lives just so some crazy woman doesn't sink her teeth into… literally, but I just feel so useless and helpless ALL THE TIME," I stressed, making sure to keep my voice down, so other people on the plane couldn't eavesdrop.

"Try not to worry. You'll like where we're going. It's very beautiful. The others will meet us there, after they get done throwing her off your scent."

"Are Carlisle and Esme coming?"

"No, they're going to stay back in Forks and keep an eye on things. We'll all take shifts looking for her and We WILL FIND HER, Bella," he stressed to me now. "And we'll eradicate her very existence," he added, not quite able to hide his anger.

"What about…."

"What? You can tell me."

"I was just wondering about …well, Tanya."

"Oh. What do you want to know?"

"Just…is she meeting us there? If Alice saw her come after her, then…I mean you should protect her, right."

"Tanya can take care of herself. She isn't alone and Victoria isn't worried about Tanya at the moment. So don't worry about anyone else. We can easily take Victoria, we've just had unfortunate circumstances in the past to stop us, but she can't run forever. We'll get her."

"You sound like Alice. She was actually offended by my concern. _Geez, Bella, Have a little faith, would ya? Victoria is not a big deal, not for us, so stop giving yourself frown lines_," I said, repeating Alice's words, trying to capture her tone. Edward chuckled at my attempt. It sounded so perfect. I had missed that sound so much.

* * *

* * *

Bella had never been any place like Esme's Island. It was pure paradise. The moment she set foot on the soft, smooth sand, she felt at home. It was thrilling yet nerve racking being there alone with Edward, until the others arrived. He was so cordial and patient with her, but she felt too ordinary to attempt to hold his attention. She stayed quiet for most of the day as he showed her around and told her about how they came to own the island and a little more about Esme and Carlisle.

She enjoyed hearing him speak and loved the stories and the way he explained things, so whenever he asked if she wished him to stop, she was quick to ask him to continue.

He told her about things they never talked about before, things he remembered before the change. Bella found it easier and easier to be with him and soon made the decision to stop feeling uncomfortable and bad for the position she was putting them in. She realized that the time they would be stuck on the island was very little when you lived forever.

She hated how it felt to feel bad about being ordinary or 'weak' but she was who she was and she liked who she was, even with all her faults and she wouldn't tiptoe around anymore. She wouldn't shy away from her feelings or instincts.

She knew Edward was no longer hers, but that didn't mean they couldn't be friends. He wanted to protect her because he cared about her and he was a good person. She had to stop wasting time moping around or worried about saying or doing something wrong.

And being in this place, it did things to you. It played tricks on you. Made you sees things that weren't there and forget about things that were somewhere else.

*

"What did Alice pack me?!" she asked herself exasperated, rifling through her luggage. Then as though, seeing this moment ahead of time, Bella found a note inside her suitcase.

_Bella,_

_We'll see you very soon. Isn't Esme's Island perfection? I hope these clothes will do until I arrive with an even better stock. It will get very warm at night, so don't mind the nightwear. You'll thank me in the morning. See you soon._

_Hugs and kisses, _

_Alice_

She eyed the small slip, Alice must have had the impression was meant to be a nightgown, and then put it on with a tired sigh, before climbing into her bed.

She thought she would fall asleep instantly, but found herself rolling around, unable to get comfortable. The air was hot and sticky and her body felt feverish.

"Can I come in?" Edward ask, knocking softly on her door. Bella flipped on the light next to her.

"Come in," she replied softly.

"Alice didn't think about this in her plan," he said, coming closer. There was a look in his eyes as he approached her that Bella couldn't quite identify. For some reason, it made her smooth out her outfit and run her hand through her hair self-consciously.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"How hot it must be for you. For us, this is nothing at all. It's actually quite nice, but for you it must be miserable.

"It's a bit hot," she agreed. He gave her a look and she corrected herself. "Okay, it's _very _hot."

"I think I can be of assistance, if it's not too much of an imposition," he said, placing a cool hand on her forehead.

"Oh, that feel nice," she replied, closing her eyes.

"I can stay with you, if it would help."

Bella didn't open her eyes to meet his; not able to handle their full force. Instead she just nodded her head. Edward moved into the bed and lay down, while Bella shut off the light before laying herself down on his chest, just like times before_._

_Maybe Alice thought exactly about this part when putting together her plan_, they both thought, lying there together alone in the warm night air.

* * *

* * *

_It's a tender trap to plan ahead all the time  
If you measure the world by what you leave behind_

_Welcome to the saving grace_

EPOV

I have to tell her before I lose it completely. She has no idea what she is even doing to me. Walking around in those outfits, prancing with Alice on the beach, wearing next to nothing and I can't even touch her. I spend most of my time just thinking of ways to touch her and get away with it; helping her over a fallen branch or showing her some exotic fish.

There was a change that has come over her since we've been here and it's even more frustrating. She's back to being the Bella I remember before I ended it. She doesn't hold back, she says what she thinks, she's stubborn and hard headed, she's giving and sweet, funny—just the way she says things or the things she comes up with, she's so animated and full of life...

Alice can see it, how I am wearing down. She can see the cracks I so desperately try and hide. Bella doesn't know what to make out of my behavior. I go from brooding silence one minute to playful banter the next. I have zero will power.

What can you expect; they are all against me, trying to get me to crack. This trip will be good for me. It's my turn to go looking for her, us guys, going to go together. The new development in the chase has got me excited. Since Embry made an appearance, when he finally phased, the pack was able to see where he was and who he was with and that Victoria indeed did have him. It was why Alice couldn't see her and why Bella's future disappeared before. Victoria knows the wolves block her sight, so she was planning on using it against us. It was a good thing we got Bella away when we did. Now she was safe. We were now going to see if we could find Victoria's hideout and finish her off once and for all.

"You take care of yourselves out there. Don't do anything stupid," Alice told me softly, interrupting my reverie. I turned from Bella, sleeping in her bed, and walked outside her room, Alice following me.

"Take care of her for me while I'm gone."

"You know you could tell her before you go."

"I'm not changing my mind. As soon as we get back to Forks, Bella will be free to live her life."

"Can't you see the bond is too deep, you've come too far, you can't go back. Let go of this idea, Bella doesn't even want it."

"You need to stop being so selfish about this. You want me to give up my idea because you still think Bella will be like us one day, but she won't Alice," I hissed softly.

"Why can't you just allow yourself to be happy. The both of you? Here you are on this beautiful island with the woman you love more than anything and you deny her of your love?!"

"Don't you think I would rather be here, in this beautiful place, sharing it with the woman I love freely and openly, instead of how I spend my time now? Instead of running off to fight some psychotic depraved being? But I can't. We have to have priorities and saving Bella's life should be our first priority!"

"And then what?"

"Then we take Bella home and things go back to the way they were before Victoria became an issue."

"But Edward!"

"No! No more talk of this. We need to get going."

* * *

_A long night spent with your most obvious weaknesses  
You start shaking at the thought  
You are everything I want. 'Cause you are everything I'm not  
And we lay, we lay together just not…Too close, too close (How close is close enough?)  
_

BPOV~

Bella was aroused by voices, growing louder, yelling. Then she heard the fight clearly.

"Don't you think I would rather be here, in this beautiful place, sharing it with the woman I love freely and openly, instead of how I spend my time now? Instead of running off to fight some psychotic depraved being? But I can't. We have to have priorities and saving Bella's life should be our first priority!"

"And then what?"

"Then we take Bella home and things go back to the way they were before Victoria became an issue."

"But Edward!"

"No! No more talk of this. We need to get going."

Then she heard no more and knew the hallway was empty. Her heart felt empty, relapsing for a moment, hearing Edward's pain. The pain he had gotten so good at hiding from her.

_Don't you think I would rather be here, in this beautiful place, sharing it with the woman I love freely and openly…_

He wished none of this was happening of course, but he also wished they were here under much different, happier circumstances, that Tanya could share it with him. It was a bullet to the heart and it took Bella a few hours to calm herself before getting up and starting the day.

"Did they leave" she asked, meeting Rose at the bottom of the stairs.

"Yes, a few hours ago now. They all said to say goodbye."

"Thanks. I'm going for a walk. I just need to think."

"Try not to hurt yourself or drown or anything while you're out there. We've been left in charge of you, you know."

"I'll be careful."

It was the first of many walks of solitude Bella had, while Edward was away.

* * *

* * *

"What happened?!" Edward roared, instantly flashing to Bella's side.

"She went for a walk and stepped on a puffer fish. She's doing better, just a high fever."

"Why weren't you with her?!" he accused Alice and Rose.

"She just went for a walk. She wasn't in any real danger," Alice explained calmly.

"No real danger?! Look at her Alice!"

"Ed—ward?" Bella called, drowsily, sighing from fatigue as she tried to speak.

"I'm here, Bella." He pressed his cool hand to her forehead and she wrapped her own around his, securing it there.

It was excruciating for him to hear her moan in pain, withering in her bed, soaking the sheets with sickened sweat. She was mumbling nonsense, half delirious.

"Just let me die. Just let me go," she begged at one point. He clutched her to him, rocking her in his arms.

"Never, Bella. You're never going to die, not if I have a say in it." He could feel a sigh of relief escape her lips, from his cool touch.

"Why?" he heard her ask, from inside the nook in his neck.

"Because I love you, Bella."

"Don't say that."

"Why?"

"Because I know it's not true. Because this isn't even real. I'm dreaming...its always the same old dream."

"No, Bella. I'm here. I'm always going to be here."

"Stop. I want to wake up now," she begged, her eyes closed tightly. Edward just held her tightly, knowing things had changed and that he would have to wait to share the developments with her until she was healthy enough.

"Edward, what happened?" Alice asked, looking from him to Jasper to Emmett, who was smiling at her, with his normal dopey grin, giving her some hope.

"Victoria is no more, along with all her newborns. She's finished for good."

"Oh, thank god. That's great. Why didn't you call and tell us?" Alice asked, excited but confused.

"Because we didn't get her without help. Aro's guards were there. He got wind of Victoria's work and sent them to kill her. They showed up just after we captured her."

"Why do you not seem happy about this?" Alice asked.

"She didn't go quietly. Before we killed her, she said something to the guards. She told them about Bella…Aro sent for Carlisle to come back with them. He wanted to talk to him about what Victoria told them. He's there now and is coming here after."

"What are you thinking?" Rosalie asked.

"Isn't it obvious? Aro will know everything as soon as Carlisle shakes his hand. He'll know about Bella and that can go only one of two ways."

"It isn't the worst thing, Edward," Emmett said, before Alice could get the words out herself. "Isn't this what you really want? Bella will be like us."

"I failed her. I told her I would protect her and I didn't. She had a chance at a normal life and I took that from her because I was too selfish to leave her alone."

"You're too hard on yourself. Bella loves you and wants to be with you," Alice said warmly, giving her brother a much needed hug.

* * *

BPOV

_'Cause all I wanna be is the minute that you hold me in  
When you pretend that I'm all that you waited for  
Time slips to nothin' and I'm better than I've ever been  
I'm suspended_

___________________________________________________  
_

It was a strange dream she was having. Edward was there, confessing his love for her. She heard voices all around her, talking about her. She heard strange names and familiar from heavenly voices, and for a moment she thought she was actually in heaven. The dream was wonderful, Edward held her close, and Victoria could never touch her.

When she woke up Edward was still there. Her head ached, but she could think clearly again. The dream that had been fighting to stay on the edge of her mind, in her memory, had slipped away and she couldn't recall any of it. But she felt oddly at peace; having Edward near always helped.

"Good morning," he smiled, a breathtaking, warm smile, making her catch her breath.

"How are you feeling?" he added, running his hand along her arm and back up, cradling her face. It was hard to speak.

"My head hurts a little," she admitted. "What did I do now?" she asked guiltily. He chuckled at her phrasing and she smiled back, bemused by his appearance.

"You stepped on a puffer fish. You've been out of it for a few days."

"Oh…I've been going on walks to clear my mind…I promised to be careful, but I guess I got careless."

"It was never that serious. The girls took care of you until we got back." He was still smiling and acting oddly from his behavior as of late. He was too close, letting his hands roam too freely.

"How did your trip go?"

"Very well. Victoria will never come after you again." He smiled and relief washed over her. No wonder he was so happy, he could stop chasing Victoria and get back to Tanya, she thought.

"Do you think you can get up? I'll fix you something to eat."

Edward helped her out of bed, carrying her down the stair and into a comfy chair. The rest of the family came in to meet her, with exuberant smiles on their faces, even Rosalie. Carlisle and Esme were also there. Edward was quick with cooking and Bella was surprised with how quickly she ate it up.

"I guess I was hungry," she said, self-consciously.

"It's good you eat. You haven't eaten in a couple days," Esme told her.

"I'm sorry if I made any of you nervous. I can't seem to stay out of trouble to save my life."

"Speaking of which, we need to talk about something, Bella."

"Now?" Edward asked, Carlisle.

"I think now is as good a time as any."

"What is it?" Bella asked alerted. Alice came and sat with her on the arm of the chair, resting her head on Bella's shoulder for comfort. Edward crouched down in front of her, taking her hand and rubbing soothing circles.

Carlisle began to explain what happened when they went to find Victoria and how they found her and destroyed her, but that they weren't alone. He reminded her about the Volturi and their power before explaining how they came to stop Victoria themselves.

"I went and saw my friend Aro and he saw our…history with you. He was very intrigued by you and our attachment to you. You're ability to block Edward's ability. However, he and his brothers were not pleased to know a human knows about their world. He gave us an ultimatum, Bella."

She caught her breathe, suddenly very afraid again.

"He wants us to turn you into one of us, or else he will send his guards here to—"

"Kill me?"

"Yes…I don't want to pressure you into becoming one of us, but we hope you will. We already consider you part of our family...Of course, it's your decision to make. I was able to talk Aro into giving you a year before they come checking on you, explaining about everything you've gone through and how much easier it would be if you were allowed to close that chapter of your life. We go back very far and he agreed to give us this, which was generous of him. He could have decided to end your life all together…"

"My decision?"

"Well, yes, of course. In the end, it is your choice to make. You don't have to decide right away. You have a year. There's no real rush."

"She doesn't have to decide anything," Edward cut in. " She can stay human."

"How?" Jasper asked.

"Simple. When they come to check, Alice will know and we will hide her away. We'll always be one step ahead."

"Nice," Emmett said excitedly.

"I'm afraid that won't work. Aro saw how the wolves' affect Alice's visions and they could use that against us," Carlisle explained.

"It doesn't matter, anyways; it's my decision, right?" Bella asked, darkly. "I've made my decision…At least I'll live to see my graduation."

Everyone gasped or froze.

"Bella, what are you saying?" Alice asked, hurt.

"I'm saying I don't want you to change me. I don't want to be like you. I don't want to go on the run and I don't want to hide anymore. I just want to take the time I have left and make the most of it."

* * *

"Bella, please talk to me," Alice said, sitting down on Bella's bed with her. "You didn't mean what you said earlier. I know you don't want to die."

"I don't want to talk about it. Why can't you just accept my decision and be okay with it."

"Because I know it isn't what you really want... and I love you, silly girl."

"…Well, I can't have what I really want, so I'm taking the best alternative."

"So this is about Edward?" Bella didn't say anything; she didn't move a muscle on her face.

"I told him he was making a mistake, but did he listen to me?" Alice mumbled to herself.

"How can I sit by for eternity and watch him be with someone else. It would be like dying every day. I can't do that, Alice. Death would be a blissful sweetness in comparison."

"He's a moron. Oh, Bella. Edward doesn't love anyone else but you."

Bella laughed a short hallow laugh. "I know you'll miss me, I'll miss you too, but there is no sense in being unrealistic about this whole thing. Don't lie for him, Alice. I can see him being selfless enough to waste his time, staying with me for the rest of my existence, when I'm only on this earth for another 70 odd years, but forever…? Is he really that big of a masochist?"

"He has been of late, but not for the reasons you believe. He wanted to spare you this life, to give you a normal one, but it's been killing him to do so. He doesn't want you to die…let him talk to you and you'll know the truth…"

"He would tell me anything to stop me from sticking to my decision…because he knows why I'm doing it…?" she was thinking out loud, trying to figure out Edward's rational, so she would know how to beat him. He was a very good talker and could convince her of something before she even had a clue to what he was up to…when he needed to. And this was one of those times.

* * *

* * *

Bella woke up that night, a slight cool pressure on her eyelid.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," came his smooth honey-like voice, in the dark.

"What time is it?" Her voice sounded groggy as she rubbed her eyes.

"After midnight," he chuckled and she wondered why.

"So…" she said softly, waiting for something to happen.

"So…" he repeated. She could hear the smile on his lips.

"Look, why don't you just spit it out, whatever you want to say," she said rather harshly. She was on edge waiting for him to spring his speech on her all day, the speech that would render her utterly helpless.

"Don't you want to sleep?" he asked, innocently. She was getting infuriated by his ease.

"No, actually, I'm not tired at all."

"Okay, what would you like to do?" This statement threw her. It was her decision what they did next. Then, if that were the case, she didn't want to talk. She wanted to keep that conversation at bay for as long as possible, either way it went, she knew she wouldn't like it.

"I want to go swimming," she decided, almost defiantly.

"…Your wish, my command," he said, getting up and helping her.

She got up, refusing his hand. She was angry with him, her reason, she hadn't yet decided. She walked past him and out of the room.

"Don't you need to change?" he asked, trying not to laugh at her pouting behavior.

"No, I'm not going to change," she said simply, then added, knowing it would hit some kind of nerve, "I'm not ever going to _change_."

* * *

Bella couldn't hear Edward's footsteps behind her but she knew he was there. All during her walk down to the beach, she felt a fire building inside her. Her confusing angry boiling over, blocking out any feelings of unsureness or even unsteadiness.

She wanted to catch him off guard for once. Leave him struggling to gain control of the situation. He always tried so hard to control the chaos around him. But she was in the mood to be a little chaotic and careless.

First came off her small cami, she wiggled out of the tight clothing and tossed it aside.

"What are you doing?" he asked, his voice no longer playful, but holding obvious shock, as she slide her small silky short to the sand.

"I'm going swimming," she told him, turning her head to see his eyes, composing her voice as she spoke.

She ran out into the water, no fear in her mind, seeking the unknown as she dove into the warm refreshing water.

She kicked her legs out and stretched her hands, pulling them back, propelling herself forward. She swam as long as her lungs held air and then came bursting out of the surface. The night was oddly still, aside from the sound of the waves rolling in and her heavy breathing.

She didn't look for Edward. Though she knew he was near. She twirled herself in the water, her head back, staring up at the intensity of the night sky.

She wondered if death was as intense as the night sky; what lay after it at least. Wherever she went, she hoped there would be those same stars.

She let herself get lost out there, alone with her thoughts. Free.

She gasped when something brushed her leg. Suddenly she was very alarmed.

"Edward?" she called out into the dark night, the moonlight giving her very little to go on.

But it was quiet. She didn't see or hear him. Something again brushed by her quickly and she let out a little gasp, swallowing water that choked back her scream.

"Edward! Edward!" she yelled, trying to swim towards the shore, the waves now knocking her, disorienting her.

"Edward," his name game out in a garble as she fought the water, toward land.

Then she felt something grab hold of her leg and pull her under. It was too strong to fight. Fear ripped through her as she felt herself being pulled into it. It wrapped itself around her and shot them both out of the water, breaking the surface. As she gasped for air, she realized what it was that had a hold of her.

"Edward!" she yelled, harshly. In the dark she could hear his musical voice, laughing lightly and feel his laughter shaking both of them. She suddenly realized she was naked in his arms and a shiver ran through her.

"That. was. not. funny!"

"You're the one who ran into the ocean alone in the middle of the night. You're lucky it was me who got you."

"But I knew you were there. You scared me half to death. You nearly gave me a heart attack!"

"Maybe you needed a good scare. You think you're so ready to go," he said coolly, insinuating her wish. She knew this was not the place and time to have this talk.

"It doesn't have to be scary," she said, unable to stop herself. "It can be quick and painless."

"It doesn't matter how it _could _be," he said, holding her as the waves crashed against them. "I'm not going to allow it."

"It isn't your decision, remember," she bit out, trying to pull away. He led them into the shore, letting her go when she could stand. She stood there, frustrated, trying to put her clothes on, but finding it difficult. Edward came behind her and wrapped a towel around her, pulling her back to him. She was incapable of stopping his action.

"It may not be my decision in the end, but I'm going to do everything in my power to keep you here with me."

"Why? You don't want me?" she said, turning in his arms and looking into his face.

"You're the only thing in this world I want, Bella."

"Please don't do this. I can't..."

"I love you Bella and I refuse to lose you."

"No. no, no, no. You don't. You love HER. You just feel bad. But this isn't your fault. I know I made you feel guilty, but you can't convince me to change my mind by giving me false hope. I get it...I do. You think I'll find someone else, like you did. You think my human memories will fade enough, like yours did...but you're wrong and you can't convince me otherwise. I know the truth. I've heard it, when you didn't know I was listening. I saw it, when you didn't have time to hide it from me...This is just a waste of your breathe...a waste of time."

"Are you finished?" he asked, undeterred, smiling his perfect crooked grin. She began to walk up to the house, leaving him in the sand, but turned back at his words.

"I think I've made my point, yes," she said, adding a final sturdy sigh of conviction.

"You're wrong," he said simply, smiling, placing his hands on her waist and pulling her gently toward him.

"We'll see, I guess." She fought to stay in control.

"So there is nothing I could do to convince you that I lied when I said I didn't want you? That I didn't love you?"

"There is nothing you can say or do to convince me otherwise."

"Bella, when I told you I didn't love you, it was the blackest kind of blasphemy. I nearly gave in that day. But you came up with your stipulations and I conceded, believing it was what was best for you. But I vowed to never truly leave you, not until I was certain you had forgotten about me and were happy with someone new. All I wanted was your happiness...but so many things came along, threatening your life...disrupting my plan...and now my hope for the life you could have had is impossible. I should be upset because I know what you will have to give up, but secretly, for my own selfish reasons, I'm so happy Bella...because that means I can have you...forever."

"Nice try," she said, turning her face away from his lips, that linger dangerously close her her face. She suddenly felt them pressed against her cheek, her jaw, her throat, her lips...

"You're very good, but it's not going to work," she stuttered, her mind getting dizzy. He kissed her again, sensing her weakening knees.

"Stop. Please."

"You don't want me to kiss you?"

"No. It isn't fair. Please don't..."

"Why?"

"It's too painful..."

"I see...okay, no kissing. I will only kiss you if you say so."

"Thank you....Why are you smiling?"

"Just being here...with you..."

"Well not to ruin your moment, but I'm human, and us humans need sleep," she replied sarcastically.

"Let me get you to bed, then" he said cradling her in his arms and taking off, before she could give him an answer. They were safe in her room before she opened her eyes.

"I'll give you a few human minutes," he joked, shutting the door.

When he came back in, Bella tried to already be asleep. She worked on controlling her breathing, but the events of tonight were still pumping through her and she knew she couldn't feign sleep.

She rolled away from him and he laughed.

"You can't get away from me that easily," he told her, pulling her close.

"Laugh now, but wait till I have reinforcements," she threatened.

He laughed again. "Reinforcements?"

"Alice...Carisle...Esme..." she began listening off the names, but was cut short by more chuckles, dispruting her thought.

"What's so funny?" she asked, annoyed.

"I'm afraid your reinforcements have left you high and dry Bella."

"What do you mean?"

"They left, earlier today."

"What?! Why?! When are they coming back!?"

"They're not. I asked them for some time. I wanted you all to myself and they agreed...I'm afraid you're stuck with me."

Bella stayed quiet, thinking over his words and this new situation. He was impossible. He thought he was so clever.

"For how long?" she asked coolly.

"Until you believe me I guess..."

"Fine. I believe you, can we go now?"

"Nice try, Bella. I'll know..."

She sighed loudly and he fought another chuckle. She was so cute when she was angry, he thought.

"Get some sleep. We can resume this tomorrow if you like."

"It's not fair."

"What's not fair, exactly?"

"Well, amongst other things, you can stay up all night thinking of arguments and playing out my reactions. You have the upper hand..."

"But I'll be too distracted by what you say to me while you're asleep to think of such things."

"What things have I been saying?"

"Things to keep my hope alive...things that make me think my still heart is still beating."

It was silent for a long time as Bella pondered the day. "Edward...?'

"Yes, my love..." She ignored this and the feeling it gave her.

"It's not going to work," she told him with certainty, finally letting sleep come over her.

* * *

Okay that's the end of that chapter. A lot happened so take some time and process ( :

I hope you're loving it more and more. Crazy how my oneshot turned into this mess! wow. I probably need to edit this and fix it up but hopefully it isn't too rough.

Please review and tell me what you think or anything at all, thanks


	14. True or false, Is Only Half Right

_you can't hide--behind social graces  
so don't try--to be all touchy feely  
cuz you lie--in my face of all places  
but I got no--problem with that really_

_______________________________________________________________________  
_

She awoke slowly, making no attempt to move from Edward's arms, though she didn't make any effort to act like he was there at all. He could have been nothing more than a block of ice, by the way she was acting. He didn't push her or ask her any questions, but waited for her to react.

When she did she simply got up out of the bed, without throwing him a single glance and walked into the bathroom to start her day.

He waited for her to open the door before he stepped out into the hallway, but she walked right past him and down the stairs as though he were no more than a painting on the wall or a marble statue on display. He smiled to himself, wondering what she was up to.

It was a game, Bella decided, fixing her own breakfast. The quiet game and the first one to speak loses. It seemed to solve her problem about not wanting to talk about things.

The whole day she busied herself from task to task, not really acknowledging Edward's presence one way or the other. He patiently waited for her to come around, still not pushing her before she was ready.

The next day, she awoke exactly like before and ignored Edward all the way through breakfast. He stood in the doorway of the kitchen watching her with an adoring smile. He wondered how long she could keep this up. Picking up her dishes she moved to the entry way he stood in and stopped finally looking at him fully. Her head jutted out and her eyes were animated, trying to convey her wish without words, as she stood impatiently before him. He played dumb for a moment, his smile growing bigger and Bella tapped her foot impatiently and placed once hand on her hip.

Edward looked at her with an exaggerated look of comprehension, moving aside for her, and waving her by. She strode straight past him without giving him the slightest look.

Later when she stood in front of the bookshelf, he watched her from his chair as she tried to get a book. He watched as she tried to find a way to reach a specific book, out of her reach. She grabbed a chair and stood on it to get her wanted treasure. She sighed in frustration when she found her fingers just out of reach still. Edward was suddenly at her side, not looking at her, but pretending himself to be finding a book. She glared down at him, seeing his lips turn up at the corners, though he didn't look in her direction. She cocked her head to her side, nodding it toward him once and he looked up at her, again feigning confusion at what she could want. Her eyes went from his to the book she sought after. He shook his head, giving her an expectant look, making her roll her eyes at his childishness.

She locked her jaw, breathing hard out of her nose and reached for it again, on her own. She had to stretch onto her tippy toes, but felt victorious when the hard binding touched her fingers. She tried desperately to wiggly it out of the shelf.

Then suddenly the chair was out from under her and she was falling. She had stretched to far and was about to fall on her ass. But she didn't of course. Edward had grabbed her and set her right in an instant. When she opened her eyes, she was leaning against the shelf, while Edward's one hand held her in place. The other held out the book she had wanted. He smiled playfully but she just shot him another look and ripped the book out of his hands, making her way over to a comfy chair.

He watched her for a moment and she pretended to be reading, not noticing him there. The he moved over to the couch and flipped on the TV. She turned the page roughly as the sound from the stereo blasted into her ears. She didn't look up, but kept reading…of course she was reading the same line over and over again, but she wouldn't lose the game. It was like she had to prove her will was stronger than his.

When she noticed the volume increase she looked over at him, but of course he had his eyes glued to the screen. She waited a good minute and a half before he turned to her with that same troubled look of misunderstanding. She simply held up her book, showing him that she was trying to read. He just nodded and smiled as though she were simply showing him the book or letting him know she liked it, or possibly appreciated his actions for getting it for her. After throwing him another look that he pretended to misinterpret she slammed the book shut and got up in a huff, marching outside. She went and sat in a comfy lounge chair, enjoying the warm island air. She could feel her eyelids start to droop but continued reading, trying to distract herself.

When she woke up it was with a start. Then she heard the noise that awoke her; thunder, but she realized she was no longer outside, but in her bedroom, on her bed. She could hear the rain pouring outside and wind against the house. She quickly brushed Edward's hand off her stomach and got up. She almost felt bad for a second catching the hurt look she thought she saw in his eyes, and gave him a pitying look and rubbed her stomach, indicating that she was hungry.

The rest of the day and night followed the same. They weren't speaking but using hand gestures and looks to communicate. Basically they were acting like 5 year olds, but no one was there to call them on it.

When Edward followed Bella to her bedroom she stopped at her door unexpectedly and turned to him, eyeing him carefully. Then, just as quickly, she lifted her arms and pushed him backwards, away from the entry way. He went willingly, for once that day genuinely baffled by her actions. She pushed him a few feet and then stopped, grabbing a hold of the door and shutting it on his face, making her intention clear.

* * *

_what bugs me---is that you believe what you're saying  
what bothers me---is that you don't know how you feel  
what scares me---is that while you're telling me stories  
you actually---believe that they are real_

* * *

Bella woke up the next morning, with about 2 hours of actual sleep. She felt exhausted and like she was sleeping in a sauna. She looked around her, annoyed with herself for wishing he was there. It was her own decision to kick him out. A nice cool shower, she thought, getting up. Walking down the hall, Edward was nowhere to be seen, but then she heard a soft sound coming from below and stretched her ear out to hear the melodic sound. He was playing the piano, so sweetly, and yet so evocative of sorrow.

The water felt wonderful against her skin but it was a poor substitute. In the shower she gave more thought to the last couple days and her dilemma with Edward. She knew she couldn't trust anything he told her, he was too good at deception. She couldn't let him talk, it would be her downfall.

She believed two things with absolute certainty at this point, based on all the evidence and every moment leading up to this:

One-- Edward felt responsible for Bella and her unfortunate circumstance…to the point that he would sacrifice his own happiness and life to try and ease hers.

And two-- she couldn't allow Edward to give up his own happiness in exchange for hers. How could she truly be happy knowing Edward's life was a lie?

She stepped out of the shower, wrapping the towel securely around her before stepping out. She tried to think of ways to make it through another day; without talking, avoiding him…ways off the island…ways out of Edward's life. There had to be a loophole or a way to make him see reason. She brushed her teeth and her hair, thinking it over and over. She felt a little unsteady on her feet and wished she had gotten more sleep. Perhaps, she could take a nap later in the hammock. She took a long drink, catching her tired expression in the mirror, distracting her.

She set the glass down and knew immediately she had misjudged the placing. It held on the sink for half a second before crashing to the ground, the sound making her cringe, as glass shattered at her feet.

"Damn," she whispered lowly to herself, surprised by the sound of her own voice. It was the first thing she had said in a couple days now. She bent down carefully to pick up the pieces.

"Ouch," she said, her finger throbbing from where the glass had got her. She watched the blood pool, before sticking her finger in her mouth to stop the pulsing pain and small stream from increasing. She carefully gathered up the rest of the pieces with her other hand. She pressed a long piece of glass into her hand, a thought occurring to her; a loophole. She remembered suddenly how delicate she truly was. She was nothing if not accident prone. She thought about all the ways humans differed from vampires, or what some believed.

She got up, resolving to find a dust pan to clean up her mess. When she stepped into the hall she was startled to see Edward standing there, a tense look in his eyes.

"Were you listening to me?" She hissed.

"I heard something break," he explained, composing his face.

She held up her finger to show him the damage. "I dropped my glass." She dropped her eyes from his, focusing them on her small wound, as though she was very interested in it all of a sudden.

"You're not tempted, are you?" she asked with a haughty tone, holding her hand out to him, as though daring him.

"Don't be absurd, Bella," he said, taking her extended arm by the wrist, pulling her back into the bathroom, careful to miss the glass that still lay on the floor. He put her finger under the sink, cleaning it out. She studied him while he grabbed a bandage, getting ready to fix it on her finger.

"So my blood doesn't intrigue you like before?" she asked with slight shock, pulling her hand back to her before he could wrap it. He sighed, giving her a look.

"It's different now. I have complete control over that. I won't hurt you," he said rather seriously.

"Prove it," she was almost smiling at the baiting words. She pressed her thumb against the cut, forcing blood to pool again, then extended her finger to his lips and waited. She was being careless with his heart, but she was tired of his demeanor; always so in control. She cocked her eyebrow defiantly.

He gave her a hard look, growing impatient with her reckless ploy. But he eventually conceded to her provoking, knowing he had nothing to be concerned about. He opened his mouth and felt her finger slide in, as he closed his lips around it, adding pressure with his tongue. He watched as her eyes closed by their own accord to his touch, her breath hitching. It was such an intimate moment, that he felt himself wishing he had not agreed to not kiss her. But the moment was over too soon as she regained control of all five of her fingers once again, pulling her hand away from his mouth, her eyes snapping back open to reality. He busied himself by finally bandaging it, and she tried to conceal her longing and thrill from his touch.

"I guess you have," she told him indifferently.

"So, are you talking to me again?" he asked, teasingly, smiling her favorite grin. He lifted her up and over the glass, setting her back down once he reached the hallway. He followed her as she took to the stairs.

"No, not really…" she admitted. "But I am willing to play a new game with you for a little while."

"New game?" he asked.

"Unless you're enjoying the silent game too much?"

"No, new is good."

"Okay, It's called _true or false_. I get to ask you a series of questions, which you can only reply either with true or false."

"Do I get to ask you questions?" he asked, hopefully.

"No. Just me." She walked over to the window, staring out at the beach.

"Okay, let's play."

"Question one," she said, turning to him, "True or false…You were with the Denali's at least once last year?"

"True." He watched her, trying to read her mind or at least her body language, but she was very composed.

"When you met me, you were intrigued by me because you couldn't read my mind?"

"True."

"It frustrated you?"

"True."

"My blood frustrated you?"

"True."

"You don't lust for my blood in quite the same way anymore? It doesn't have the same control over you as it once had?"

"...True..." he said, not liking the line of questions or what Bella was convincing herself of.

"True or false…You're family is counting on you to be the one to convince me to become like you?"

"...True."

"True of false," she went on quickly, not giving much time in between questions, "…You went to Tanya after you ended things with me?"

He hesitated a long moment before replying, "True." But not to be with her, to gain her help, he thought frustratedly.

"True or false, you wish I could move on with someone else."

"True and false," he spoke, hesitantly, unsatisfied with the rules of the game.

"True or false," she said, not skipping a beat, "You blame yourself for what happened with Jasper on my birthday and what happened with James last spring?"

"True," he said simply, his eyes looking so sweet, yet pained before her.

"True or false, you blame yourself for Victoria and Aro's decision?"

"True," he said softly, the look in his eyes too full of emotion for her to continue to stare at him.

"True or false…you would feel guilty if I allowed Aro to kill me when the time comes."

"True," he said, heartbreakingly, but Bella refused to let it weaken her.

"True or false," she paused, taking a slow breath, closing her eyes, "… You would rather I stay human than be like you."

She waited for what felt like forever. "…true," he said evenly, the words working as a spell to force her eyes open.

"True or false, Edward…if Aro never knew about me…_this _summer would never be happening?"

"…True," he said, his velvety voice someone managing to sound rough.

She stayed quiet for a long moment as his answers sank in, only reinforcing what she already knew. The truth was easier to see when Edward couldn't rely on convincing words and grand statements. The game had practically screamed the truths at her.

"I don't think we need to play this game anymore," she told him sadly, referring to more than just the true/false game at the moment.

"Bella…please…that doesn't tell you anything, not really. You're blinding yourself to the truth. Purposefully. Stop denying what is so obvious and real. I love you and I need you and I will stop at nothing to have you."

"What if I don't care?" The statement stung him as much as it surprised him.

"What if I don't want what you have to offer? I thought I did. Yes, I will always love you, but what you're asking of me is too much. I don't want to be like you. The price for loving you is too high and I just…I'm not willing to…" she knew the lie would hurt. She knew it was the worst thing she could say, but if it was what it took to convince him, she would do it, so he could be free. It was the one thing he would stop at, she knew.

"…I don't want to give up my soul for you Edward. I'm sorry."

She watched as he took an unnecessary sharp breath at her words, as though someone punched him in the stomach. His face looked so tormented, she had to look away, though the image still haunted her even then.

"Don't be sorry, Bella. I'm the one who should be sorry. And I am, so very sorry. Please…forgive me."

Bella just nodded her head, unable to stifle the tears. She watched through blurry eyes as he walked out of the house and down to the beach. She watched him from the window, his back to her, as he stared out into the never ending water, until the sun began to set.

Was she doing the right thing, she wondered, watching him, she wasn't so sure anymore.

* * *

Bella woke up the next morning with a note next to her pillow.

_Dear Bella,_

_I left in the night to go hunting off the island. I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was going, but I didn't want to wake you. I should be back later today. Please keep yourself safe till then, _

_Edward_

She suddenly felt very cold.

* * *

She turned over in her sleep, restlessly, colliding with a very firm, cool entity, she knew automatically. She lifted herself slightly, so that her upper body lay on his chest. She tried to see his face in the dark, just barely making out his outline. Her hand came up to his face and she gently brushed her fingers over his lips before bending her face down to his, her lips crushing against the only object they sought. He kissed her back enthusiastically, allowing the barriers to be pushed further than ever before. There was an urgency and need in the way he touched her; the way his lips worked over hers.

"Where did that come from?" he asked, pulling back, leaving them both breathing heavy.

"I missed you," she said simply, eyeing his lips in the dark, like they were her prey.

"I missed you too." He sounded lost and confused as he said this, as though he couldn't make sense of the change in her.

"I thought you didn't believe me," he added, prodding her into an explanation.

"I don't…I still don't, but I've made some decisions while you were away, about how I want to spend the last year of my life…"

"And what have you decided," he asked coolly, pressing his face into Bella's hair as he held her close.

"For one, before I die, I want to come back here with you. I want this to be the place where it ends. It's so lovely here and peaceful. I want you to take me back here, just the two of us." Her statement came out as almost a question, realizing she couldn't make this happen on her own.

"What else?" he asked; his tone still hard.

"I want to spend the next year with you. I want to finish school and have a chance to say goodbye to my friends and family…in a sense."

"Okay," he said and she wondered what he was thinking and if he understood.

"I want you, Edward…I want to be able to pretend, to forget reality and truth. I want to get lost in the illusion. I want everything you're willing to give me."

"I'd give you anything."

"I want one more thing…It's kind of the most important of all."

"What is it?"

"I want you to make love to me…before the end..of my life I mean."

"Bella…that's …it's too dangerous. I could—"

"Kill me? Another week after that and I'll be dead anyways, so what does it matter? Besides I don't think you could."

He laughed a hollow laugh at her statement. "I could easily crush you, without any effort—"

"I know you are physically capable, Edward, but I don't think you _can _do it."

"You over estimate my self control."

"But you're forgetting, it doesn't really matter…I'm dead in the end either way…It's my final wish Edward," she added sadly at the end, crushing his will power. "What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking I left you alone with too much time to ponder."

"This is what I want…please," she said softly, kissing his temple, laying her head back down on his chest.

" I could never deny you of anything, Bella." And with that be begun to hum her a lullaby to help her sleep as he wondered fiercely to himself how he was going to fix this. He refused to lose her, no matter what her mind was telling her now, and he refused to let her die...not without a fight.

* * *

Read it. Love it. Review it. ; )

next chapter preview: its going to be called _'ROSE~a~LIE Revealed'_


	15. ROSE a LIE revealed AS truth

"_Love is no respecter of age or practicality  
Neither morality: unabashed  
She enters where she will  
Unheeding that her immortal fires  
Burn up human hearts..."_

"What are you looking at?" Karen asked, noticing Bella's engrossed look. She pulled the book out from under her arm and stared at the page.

"Oh that…Ms. Hall wanted us to describe the word love and what it means to us as an introduction to reading the play."

"Is it supposed to be your own belief?" Bella asked.

"Yeah, but the assignment is due tomorrow and I can't come up with anything good…I wasn't going to copy anything…just help get an idea," Karen explained innocently.

"Well, I can try to help. I mean that's what I'm here for," Bella said, trying not to sound irritated.

"Mazzy, what did you say?" Bella asked, turning to the other girl, who was busy doodling in the margins.

"I said," she began, grabbing her notes, " Forget about marriage or even star-crossed lovers. Forget about lovesick teenagers with raging hormones. Forget about white picket fences and happily ever after. Expand your mind to the human condition. Stop and think about why you do anything at all; what gets you up in the morning and what keeps you going each day. It isn't obligation or hunger pangs, or even the sun…You know what I'm getting at: love. Sure, the word is a generalization, a word we use for something we can't quite define…at least on a rational level. And yes, it tends to means something different to everyone, but we all agree that it is at least there…well at least most of us will admit it's there.

Love is the one emotion that makes us feel all other emotions. We only hate against something that threatens what we want to protect, whether that be a person, or a possession, or an idea…and sometimes it can be all three, I guess. The same goes for jealousy and fear; they spring from love, from having love or wanting love that is not there. Love makes us feel true bliss and utter happiness towards the object of our desire. We aspire and yearn for love. We feel rejection and sorrow at its loss. 'Love makes the world go round' or so they say, which sounds pretty cheesy and even simple minded, but, really,what is worth anything without love?" she finished and then added shyly, "That's what I have right now…it's kind of rough I know."

"No, it's very lovely," Bella told her, letting the words and ideas of a 15 year old girl, grab a hold of her for a minute.

"Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species," Karen spoke up, mordantly, reading from the quote book, breaking the very quiet moment. "I like that one. I mean love, like love you see in movies and stuff…I don't know I've just never seen it," she added, in her overconfident cheerleader voice.

"I have," Bella said softly, catching Mazzy's eye for a second, thinking about the Cullen's and all that great love, they were so lucky to find.

"Yeah, easy for you to say, You're dating Edward freakin' Cullen. He is like way gorgeous…" Karen exclaimed, rolling her eyes. Bella had to fight back a wistful sigh.

When Ms. Hall asked Charlie if Bella was willing to tutor after school, she really wish he would have asked her first, but how could she say no now? Which was why she was hanging out in the school library at 3:26 on a Tuesday, with two girls who couldn't be more different.

The first, Karen, who looked like her ambition in life was to be Miss Teen USA, was high energy and full of what could only be described as 'pep', while the other girl, Mazzy, who looked like she had been in that awkward stage for most of her life, was more cynical and serious in attitude.

"My mother actually named me Mazzy Star after some indie rock band," Mazzy explained a week later, when Bella told her she thought it was pretty. She was certain that Mazzy was going to be the more difficult of the two to get through to at first, but she was surprised to find the girls' personalities were much more reversed than she had expected.

"It's kind of annoying how they don't actually have Rosaline in this play. That would have been cool," Karen said, flipping through her copy of the play. Bella glanced at the clock, she still had 20 minutes of tutoring left.

"I guess she wasn't needed, or maybe it was better to never know who she really was because sometimes ideas are stronger than actualities," Bella told her.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean Romeo made her out to be some perfect creature but then takes it back when he sees Juliet. If the audience saw her, instead of imaging perfection, they could be disappointed or the opposite, they might think Juliet couldn't compare…"

"Oh, yeah, I guess I see what you're saying…still it would have been more dramatic if Rosaline had come into the picture, suddenly interested in Romeo…like who would he have picked if he could have chosen?!"

"He would have chosen Juliet," Mazzy suddenly stated, not bothering to look up. Bella had not realized she had actual been following their conversation.

"How do you know?!" Karen asked, rather snotty, trying to make her prove it.

"Just the way Romeo talks about Juliet when no one is around, when she doesn't hear him. He admits he was an idiot for ever thinking he understood love before she came along…It's like dreaming," she began, thinking hard about how to explain herself. "We know for sure when we are awake. We just know. There is no question. However, in dreams we rarely can tell we are dreaming, we think it's real and we don't question it until something trips us up or we begin to wake up or something…when you know you know."

"but what if he was 'dreaming' when he met Juliet? What if he met someone else later on and then it was just like with Rosaline or what if he projected his feelings for the woman he couldn't have on the one who was willing?" Karen asked, surprising Bella with her cynical yet deep line of questioning.

"I guess no one will ever know," Bella said, trying to redirect them back to their actual assignment.

"It isn't about knowing," Mazzy said rather sharply, not allowing the subject to just be dropped. Bella felt an intense knot in her stomach and tried to ignore it.

"Then what's it about?" Karen asked rudely, giving her a look.

"When you watch the play or even reading along with it you have to allow yourself to get caught up in the emotion and surrender yourself to the feelings being expressed. I mean no one can ever truly know anything, not anyone, even themselves. All we really have is what we believe. Isn't that all reality really is? That's one way you know that their love is real. Because they don't question it. They never ask themselves, is this person worth it? Do I really care for him or her? They never say, what is this I'm feeling?…They know because they believe…"

"But what if they were wrong?" Karen asked, sounding curious.

"I don't understand the question…how can they be wrong if it's what they believe? If it's what they feel?"

Bella sat back, deep in thought and here she had thought she was supposed to be the one tutoring.

* * *

"What are you thinking about?" Angela asked Bella, standing at her locker, before first period, noticing Bella's now famous far off look.

"…Romeo and Juliet," She replied cryptically.

"Specifically?"

"Specifically if Romeo hadn't been able to convince Juliet of his love for her, like if Juliet hadn't felt worthy of his love."

"I kinda think he would have gotten her to cave eventually. I mean he was quite the smooth talker and supposedly gorgeous, who wouldn't want to believe he loved them?!"

"Well what if she had found out about Rosaline and worried his heart was always going to belong to her?"

"hmm, I don't know, but if she still wasn't sure after he poisoned himself after losing her, then I'd say the poor girl needed to be committed," Angela replied quickly, as the warning bell sounded. "Come on, Let's get to class."

It was an oddly sunny day for Forks, so much so that the Cullens couldn't risk going to school, in case the sunlight hit them straight on and showed the student body one of their many secret. It was frustrating for Bella not to see Edward or Alice, but she knew Edward would be over that night, so she just had to get through the day. It had been two weeks since school started and three since they returned from their trip. Every day she had to put up with some comment from Alice about what a stubborn dope she was being, and something form Edward, where he tried to get her to believe him. Usually, it was a simple, "I love you, you know," to which she would just barely shake her head, as though unable to agree.

He waited for the day he would see the recognition in her eyes as the words finally sank in as fact. The only problem was he was undoubtedly running out of time. He could accept the fact that Bella didn't want to become like him…on most days he could accept this fact. But he refused to allow Bella to die, not until it was truly her time. He knew when her life was over, then so was his and risking his existence was just something he had to do if it meant saving her. He could only think of one way to make this possible and he was growing impatient, waiting for the day of execution.

* * *

As Bella walked down the deserted, half lit hallway , she felt someone watching her.

"We need to talk," she heard a poised voice tell her from an open doorway.

"Rosalie?" She asked, trying to put her heart back in her chest and act like she wasn't about to scream with fright. She was confused as to her presence, especially since her and Emmett were supposed to be away at school that year. "Okay," she said, stepping toward her and out of the hall.

"What are you doing here?" Bella finally asked, after a long moment of just watching Rosaline seethe at her.

"I'm trying to save my family from getting themselves killed."

"What? What are you talking about? What happened?"

"What happened? YOU happened. Ever since Edward fell for you, he's brought nothing but danger to us, which up until this point was minimal. It was nothing worth getting worked up over, really. But what he's actually thinking of doing now…I won't allow Emmett to sacrifice himself in the name of brotherhood. I mean I love my brother, but all he seems to really see is you…"

"I don't…understand."

"Edward has accepted the fact that you don't want to be like us and I have to tell you, I was a little surprised with your choice. To be honest I don't really understand it. Clearly you're in love with him. I mean don't tell me you actually think he doesn't return those feelings?!"

Bella stood there dumbfounded, her brain trying to catch up to Rosalie's words, trying to make sense of them. She was too intimidated by Rosalie to defend herself or dispute her claims.

"Did you really think he would just sit back and wait for you to die? Do you know my brother at all?"

"What is he planning?" she asked suspiciously.

"I'll tell you what he's planning! He's planning on going to the Volturi to try and convince them to change their minds, as though he could just talk them into that, but he thinks he as a good plan. He thinks he can reason with them," she explained harshly.

"He told you that?"

"Alice saw him going. We confronted him about it and he didn't deny it. And he still won't refuse to go even after what Alice saw."

"What did Alice see?"

"Aro told him no."

"So things are still the same, what's the big deal? He's just going to have to get over it and accept it. I have." Things get easier once you accept them, she thought.

"Because Aro saw what Edward was thinking…he was thinking of what he would do if Bella died at their hands. He would go after them. He would try to kill Aro himself. You see Bella, when Aro deems Edward as a threat, he's going to kill him. But Edward refuses to listen. He thinks he can avoid this. He's determined to go. But it doesn't seem to matter what he decides to do, every vision seems to end badly."

"No," Bella said softly.

"The others don't want him to go either but Alice won't let him go alone and Jasper won't leave Alice and now Emmett. I won't lose my family Bella, even if that means I have to kill you myself," she hissed. Bella instinctively recoiled up against the wall, fear knocking her breath out of her lungs.

"He can't go. What is he thinking?" she asked. Her fear for Edward overcoming hr fear of Rosalie.

"You can stop this Bella. Please, don't let this happen," she asked. It was strange, the change in her manner. It was like she was pleading with Bella, something she never would have thought Rose capable of.

"Why is he doing all this…?" Bella was half aware of the words escaping her lips, feeling overwhelmed and lost in so many ways.

"Do you really not get it? Do you really not know?"

"Know?"

"How much he loves you?"

Bella couldn't respond, her mind reeling, a cluttered mess, that she didn't have time to sift through. She had to see Edward. She needed to find him immediately; talk to him; stop him…because Rosalie's words had shaken her to her core, knocking something loose inside of her, perhaps the wedge that had been separating her head from her heart.

There was nothing she needed to know that she didn't already believe.

* * *

_Hmmm….I think I am too tired to be writing right now, seriously did any of that make sense…I don't know if this chapter will stick. I'll reread it later and see if I want to make some changes, keep it, or just scrap it all together…__input would be good. please_

_For those who want some fluff, don't worry, I will be doing some flashbacks to satisfy that fix…can't be sure where we're going from here, but it should be a good ride. I figure I have a couple more chapters left…_

_Thanks for reading as always!_


	16. Up on the 101 o The Girl'd Come Undone

_things you said that day_  
_ up on the 101_  
_ the girl had come undone_  
_ i tried to downplay it_  
_ with a bet about us_  
_ you said that-_  
_ you'd take it_  
_ as long as i could_  
_ i could not erase it_

* * *

I hopped in my car, forgetting about finishing the last two hours of school. I felt an incessant need to see him after my talk with Rosalie, which just left me reeling with indescribable feelings. I realized it was all too bizarre to explain at the moment. I needed more time to process everything. Rose and I had never been close, hardly friendly, but something happened in that odd moment that seemed to bring us closer together. Even when she was _threatening_ to kill me I knew she didn't really mean it. For the first time I truly saw that she cared for me and wanted what was best for me too. She was a protected. I think that was her true gift.

I had to protect as well. I should have known better than to think Edward would just accept my decision. He always had to do things his way. He was so impossible! And was he going to just go and not tell me?! He was going to risk everything for me?! I swear if I could I would kill him myself. See if that knocked some sense into him…Can't this truck go any faster!?

* * *

"_I love you." _Bella shut her eyes for an instant, her hands clutching the steering wheel, as an image of Edward pushed to the front of her mind. Edward laying with her on her bed, on the island. His head resting on her stomach, looking up at her, while his hand drew patterns on her hand and wrist. It was so vivid and real, she gasped out loud, hardly able to endure it.

"_You are my life now." _Another image, farther back hit her, of the first morning waking up with Edward, sitting in the rocking chair together.

Get a hold of yourself, Bella, she chided herself, trying to focus on the road.

But the images poured through her now. His breath taking smile, dazzling eyes, perfect form, moment after moment, like snap shots in her brain.

"Why hadn't I been able to see this coming," she asked herself, reproachfully, taking a turn too sharply, every minute getting closer to his house.

She thought back over the last few weeks with him and how he had been acting, or perhaps it hadn't been an act at all. Was she really that impossibly dumb, she wondered. After all they had been through and all he did for her, why was she so convinced it was all a lie? Believing the lie as truth and truth as lie. Every smile and every look. Every _I love you_ seemed to take on new meaning, looking at things with this new found insight. Rosalie might as well have hit her over the head with a rock, she thought, almost with a laugh.

_Does this mean we're really engaged? _She thought suddenly, unable to breathe. The car horn of the SUV behind her awoke her from her reverie, and seeing the changed light, she stepped on the gas, peeling out a little too fast, her heart racing now even faster.

_It was their last night on the island together. Edward had kept her busy everyday with hikes and swimming…picnics and movie marathons…They didn't talk about the daunting things to come. He didn't want to fight. But that last night, before they went back to the rest of the world, he had a conquest he needed to see through._

"_We could stay another week, you know. School doesn't start just yet…" He started, trying to be subtle._

"_I already told Charlie to expect us…well me. He doesn't know you were here," she told him matter-of-factly, like he didn't already know. "I'm sure he'd love to know that. Good thing he can't kill you…" It was quiet for a few minutes as they sat together in the comfy lounge chair, looking up at the stairs. In the distance they could hear the waves rolling in, creating a serene atmosphere._

"_I love these stars," Bella commented softly, looking up in awe._

"_These stars? Are they different from the ones at home?"_

"_At home the stars are always hidden and they don't shine as bright, at least not for my mere human eyes…I think I could look at these stars forever."_

_Key words Bella spoke struck Edward as bitter reminders: Mere human…forever…_

"_Well if you can't wait a year to see them again, just let me know. Whenever you want to come back, you just have to say the word," he said easily, trying to lead into his plan. _

"_I'll let you know," she replied shyly, shifting her head on his chest. He wondered what she was thinking about._

"_What are you thinking about," he finally asked._

"…_Just the next time we come here…the circumstances we'll be under…what we talked about," she explained hesitantly._

"_I've been thinking about that as well…there is something I need you to do for me if we decide to do _that_."_

"_I already told you I don't want to live forever…" she cut in, thinking she knew where he was going with this._

"_I know…it's nothing about your choice…" he began, but stopped and Bella realized he was nervous. But not nervous like he was frightened, but more like if he had the ability to blush right now, he would be._

"_What is it?"_

"_The next time we come back to this island…"_

"_Yes?"_

"_I want it to be as husband and wife…" he said, timidly, looking down into her eyes, measuring her reaction. She seemed to sputter the air for a moment, as though she was trying to breathe under water._

"_Umm…why?" she whispered, shaking her head slightly, failing to understand his motives._

"_Mostly because I love you and if you're forcing yourself to part from me I want to be tied to you in every way possible before you leave me…"_

"_You can't be serious…"_

"_I've never been more serious. Really Bella, you know how to give a guy a complex…If you want us to make love, you're going to have to give me this first."_

"_What are you trying to protect my virtue or something?" she laughed, mocking the idea._

"_As a matter of fact—"_

"_Edward!"_

"_Call me old fashion or overly cautious but I won't do anything that has any chance of condemning your soul."_

"_This is about my soul. It's always about my soul with you…"_

"_Look Bella, it's just the way I was raised, try and understand. When I was growing up when a guy found the love of his life, he asked for her hand in marriage and prayed to god she wouldn't say no…there was an order to things. If I had met you in 1918, this would have been the natural progression."_

"_Except…"_

"_Except what?"_

"_Except this isn't real."_

"_Bella," Edward groaned in frustration. _

"_You have someone else you should take that step with. Just because _I'm_ going to be dead soon doesn't mean you should make concessions to try and fulfill every aspect of _my_ life. I mean, honestly Edward, marriage is a _big_ deal to me. After seeing what happened to my parents, I never wanted to make that same mistake. Marriage is a sacred thing. Don't waste it on me because you're worried I'm going to miss out on important events. I mean I'm only seventeen…it just wasn't in the cards for me…"_

"_You'll be eighteen by then, an adult..Lots of people have gotten married at such a young age," he argued._

"_What is the point? Why get married when I won't be around long enough to enjoy it? And why get married if the person I'm marrying is only doing it to try and pacify me before I go? _

" _I get it. You think it will make it easier and give me something happy to look forward too, but…"_

"_God dammit Bella! You have to stop this!" he suddenly shouted, his collected manner, he had been able to project for so long, dissolving in his fury._

"_I love you! How can you just so easily forget everything we've shared because of one lie? I lied to you that day and I was wrong. I was stupid for thinking I could walk away from you and stay away, but why are you so goddamn willing to believe the lie?!"_

"_Because it never made any sense, for you to love me," she replied, her voice sounding rough as tears filled up her eyes. He held her face in his hands, desperately trying to convey with his eyes the love he felt._

"_I always knew that…I could never be good en—"_

"_Enough! Bella, please just listen…You have to hear me. Let me back into your heart."_

"_You never left my heart," she replied with a mixture of hurt and confusion._

"_But you refuse to let yourself believe we are meant to be together. And it's my fault for pushing you away and for allowing you to believe such falsehood. Now your heart is impenetrable. You no longer just have a force field around your mind… It's like your heart is trying to protect you against me. I can't bare it. Can't you see-- I'm the unworthy one here. I don't deserve your love after what I've done to you. I've put your life in danger and I've broken your heart…and I know it's unfair of me to ask for another chance, but I need you Bella. I can't live without you."_

"_Don't say that…you're just trying to get me to change my mind…" she mumbled softly, averting her watery eyes._

"…_I have waited over a hundred years for you and I didn't even know it, till I found you. A hundred years is a long time. In all that time there was never any other girl that ever held my fascination. I looked at my family, envious of what they had, but never fully able to understand it, even with my ability. When you came along, you completely through me. I didn't understand that either; why I felt differently when it came to you and why I found myself wondering about you, following you in other people's minds, analyzing your behavior and your words, concerned for you well being and if you were okay…I tried to push the feelings back. I tried to rationalize why you had such a strange effect on me. I tried to forget about you. _

"_When I left that first time, I couldn't get you out of my mind. And I didn't even know you then, but I came back because I needed to be around you. Sure I told myself it was because I wouldn't let some silly girl keep me away, but, honestly, you had already left your mark on my heart….When I realized what it was I was feeling, I knew there would never be another for me. I felt truly alive for the first time in my existence…after that, after I gave up and just gave into everything…well, everything changed…"_

"…_I wish I could believe you Edward, I do, but just hearing you speak…it's like I'm hearing a story about someone else…I'm sorry…"_

"_I'm not going anywhere Bella. I'm not leaving you again. I'll find a way to get through to you somehow."_

"_And you think marriage will be the thing that convinces me," she asked skeptically._

"_You don't have to make your decision about that tonight…but remember it is part of my stipulations…" _

* * *

Bella's reverie ended as she pulled up to the Cullen home. She had barely put the car in park when she jumped out of the cab and ran up to the porch, knocking much more forcefully then necessary in a house full of vampires.

"Bella?! I didn't see you coming," Alice said, letting her in, with surprise.

"Well, you can't see everything. Where's Edward?" she asked quickly, catching her breath and looking around.

"He's not here right now, Bella." Her heart dropped upon hearing those words. There was something hidden in Alice's well composed face that made Bella feel nervous. Alice was keeping something from her. Oh, god, she thought anxiously, he went to the Volturi. I'm too late.

"Where is he?" she asked, a little too desperately. Alice put her arm around Bella's shoulder, sensing her unease.

"He's just hunting…"

"Oh…" She felt a little better, but still needed to see him. She needed to speak to him. "Well, can I wait for him?" she asked, knowing Alice would be more than willing to hang out with her until he got back.

"Actually he may be gone for a while. Why don't we go out and do something?"

Now Bella was concerned. Alice was most definitely hiding something.

"He's not really hunting is he?" she questioned suspiciously. "Where is he Alice? Please, is he alright? He didn't go to the Volturi did he?"

"How do you know about th—Rose," she said, bitingly, catching on.

"Alice! Did he?!"

"No, no, Bella. Edward is fine. Rose should not have told you about that."

"Why not? He thinks about pulling a stunt like that because of me and you think everyone should keep me in the dark, while you go along with it? He can't go there!"

"Relax Bella. Everything is fine. I'm sorry if you feel like we lied to you, but I didn't see the point in useless worrying…"

"Where is he Alice. I just need to hear his voice. I need to know he's okay."

"He won't be back for a while…but we can call him," she said getting out her phone and pressing the send button.

She handed the phone off to Bella as it began to ring.

"Hey Alice, Edward is busy at the moment…" a musical voice sang warmly, into the phone, causing Bella's heart to plummet. Not because it wasn't Edward's voice and not just because the voice belong to what sounded like a very beautiful bubbly girl, but because she recognized the voice. Tanya.

"…Thanks for letting me steal Edward away from you guys for a couple days…" she continued, thinking she was speaking to Alice, as Bella listened, her jaw slackened and eyes wide in horror. She tried to speak, to form words, a syllable, but nothing would come out. Even her breath was getting stuck in her throat. The phone slid from her hands as she dropped to her knees, her legs suddenly to weak to stand. Alice snatched up the phone and quickly spoke into it, too fast and soft for Bella to hear and then clicked it off. Bella sat there, not moving as another wave of despair crashed over her.

"He's with her…" she was able to say, tears now blinding her.

"Yes," she began cautiously, "but it's not like that. He's only there to help. He felt he owed them for everything they've done for us…recently. Oh, Bella. It isn't like that," she said, holding her. Jasper came in and suddenly Bella felt a lot lighter, even though she knew she shouldn't.

"That isn't fair," she said softly, realizing what he was doing."I'm fine, really, Jasper. No need for the theatrics. I've known about this for a while…"

"Just stay here with us until Edward gets back. You'll see," Alice offered.

"…Just tell him…tell him I said he can't go. He can't go to the Volturi. That's what I came over here to say. Will you tell him that for me? And you too Alice. Promise me you won't go…If something were to happen to you guys…I just couldn't take that Alice. I couldn't bare it."

"We won't go, Bella. But just stay here with us, wait for Edward," She added, concerned.

"No, Alice. I need to go. I don't belong here…" she said faintly.

"Of course you belong," Alice objected.

"Just make him promise, Alice," she said, holding onto the door. With a nod from Alice she closed it behind her and stumbled to her car, her fresh tears blurring her vision, making her truck look like a blob of red on her periphery.

* * *

Bella wiped the streaming tears from her cheek and shifted the car into drive, leaving the Cullen's behind, once again. Her min just pounded her with words like stupid, idiot, blind, unworthy, weak…She had known better to have hope. She had known better than to believe and the second she slips, fate was more than willing to step in and remind her. She tried not to let her mind wander. She tried not to think about what Tanya and Edward were doing right at that moment. But it was difficult. She focused intensely on the road, willing all other thoughts to leave her alone. Still, as much as she concentrated on the road ahead, she hadn't been able to see the deer dart out in front of her until it was too late. She swerved to avoid it instinctually and then lost control on the freshly rain soaked cement. She had just managed to scream before her car went head on into an old, half uprooted tree.

* * *

(two days later) EPOV

Edward raced back to Forks, as fast as the car would drive. He had been away from Bella for nearly 56 hours and it was killing him. He was planning on just showing up to her doorstep…well bedroom window really.

He pulled up front and was discouraged when he didn't see Bella's truck in the drive way, nor did he see Charlie's police cruiser. There was however a motorbike sitting there, which he knew belonged to Jacob Black.

'What is he doing here?' he wondered hotly to himself. Ever since Bella and he got back, he noticed Jacob trying to weasel his way more into Bella's life, now that Charlie was dating Sue. He had heard his thoughts the few times they had been forced around each other and he didn't like them. Jacob's crush for Bella was stronger than ever.

He walked up to the porch, needing to know why Jacob was there and where Bella was at.

"What are you doing here?" Jacob sneered, coming to the door.

"Why are you here? Where's Bella?"

"I'm watching the house, waiting for Sue to get here, to set up…" he said darkly, a menacing tone directed right at Edward as though he was to blame for something.

"Where's Bell--?" He stopped, seeing disturbing images in Jacob's head. Then he heard what he had been trying not to think about…

"NOOOOOO!" he roared. "She can't be. No!" he shouted, grabbing Jacob by the collar.

"She's dead, Edward. She's gone and she's never coming back," he yelled at him, pulling away and shutting the door. Edward stood there on the porch, suddenly unable to move. It was like his whole world had come crashing down in an instance.

He shouldn't have left her. He should have been there, he thought with despair. What happened? Why hadn't his family told him? He was blinded by fury and rage. He wanted to kill. He wanted to destroy the world. He wanted to dissolve into nothingness, but mostly he just wanted to see her again. Hold her and be with her.

* * *

Sorry cliff hanger…that sucks, but I have to stop writing right now. I will pick it up soon. I think the next chapter will be the last.

So what do you think? Review!


	17. Where the Sky Meets the Earth

_"A twist off bottle cap's, Broken on my teeth again, I'm tired and the toll is on you... I'm six feet under but, Tripping on my soul again, I'm twisted and I'm broken and bruised ..."_

* * *

He had to keep moving, that was all he knew. He was at the hospital, staring up at a familiar doctor face, with no true recollection of how he got there. He realized he had run there with his eyes squeezed tight.

"Edward?" the man asked, concerned. He had already said hello and when Edward didn't respond, but rather stood there statuesque, unnerving him.

"Is my father here?" he asked roughly.

"No, I'm sorry. He took the week off," he explained as though he was surprised Edward didn't already know this.

"Oh," he replied, dazed, not really listening to the words he spoke but rather the thoughts in his head.

"I'm sorry to hear about your friend. It's a very tragic accident, my condolences."

Edward didn't bother replying as he turned and walked away from this man, this near stranger. He could still see the images, of Bella's truck, images of Bella's body from inside the doctor's mind of Bella; a blueish color, cold, broken, washing up on the shore, her body broken and tore from when she was thrown, from the fall. Edward needed to get away from his thoughts.

He needed to see her. And there was only one place he could go for that.

* * *

He walked into the funeral home, his eyes fixed straight ahead. It was a small building, whose rooms gave off an artificial welcoming and comfort. He heard voices to his left and saw Charlie standing with a man, presumably the funeral home director, talking low about arrangements.

His thoughts were muddled but full of grief for his lost daughter. He didn't see Edward pass and Edward didn't stop, but continued on to the back room, where a singular wooden casket stood. The room was filled with flowers, the aroma of which hit you as soon as you walked inside. He walked towards the casket, knowing that inside lay his beloved, though he couldn't see her. He wondered how different she looked from the Bella he knew.

He stood before it for a long moment, feeling himself come apart. He couldn't bring himself to open it just yet, to see her. Instead when he went towards it, his arms stretched outward, as he pressed himself against it, as though embracing her through it. His cold cheek rested against the firm wooden coffin, as he began to talk to her softly, apologizing and pleading with her still.

He stopped, frozen in place, when footsteps reached him. A woman coughed, out of politeness, letting him know she was there. He turned around to see Sue, facing him, with a sympathetic look.

"Hello Edward," she said gently. "We were wondering when you were going to come by," she added. He couldn't speak; he couldn't move.

"Do you need to talk?" she asked, more concerned.

"No…I just…How is Charlie?"

"He's managing…he doesn't say much…but then again, he always was a very reserved guy. He'll make it through this…what about you Edward?" she asked, trying to read him. He could sense her concern for him, but it was too hard to try and conceal his true feelings this time.

"I honestly don't know…" he said quietly, as Charlie made his way over. Sue was quick to take his hand in hers, showing her support. Edward could hear his thoughts upon seeing him. He was questioning what might have happened had Edward been there that day. It wasn't accusatory or spiteful, just wishful thinking, he couldn't help but wonder about, seeing Edward in person.

"I'm so sorry, Charlie," he said.

"Thank you, Edward," he replied, perceptively. Edward simply nodded, turned and walked away.

* * *

He had no place else to go…his life had ended before he even realized it. He was in agony, to the point he didn't know he could stand so much pain and go on. He got into his car, his destination: Italy, but first the airport.

About 10 minutes after he began driving he realized he was being followed, but not simply by one car but by four. When the cars got close enough he could hear their thoughts, not that he needed his ability to recognize his family's cars.

"Stop Edward"

"Come home."

"Edward, pull over!"

His siblings yelled at him, but he only increased his speed. They wouldn't stop him. Then Emmett cut him off and as he turned to avoid him, Rosalie came out of nowhere, slamming her beautiful red corvette right into him.

He tried to run, but they tackled him and dragged him back towards their house. He knew he couldn't win this battle right then, so he gave in and went easily with them, deciding that when they lowered their defenses, then he could slip away.

"Let me go! I'm not fighting you guys, am I?" he asked, as they pushed him into the house.

"Don't give us that. Alice saw you going to the Volturi," Emmett replied, angrier than Edward ever remember him being with him.

"What do you want me to do?! She's gone. I've lost my Bella forever…you can't ask me to go on…you can't," he pleaded with all of them, looking away.

"Edward," Alice said funnily, "I need you to calm down and just settle yourself, okay. Now don't freak out. You weren't suppose to deviate. You were supposed to come right home, then you went and …well never mind, now. Just compose yourself a little, alright?" she ordered, fixing him up, trying to make him not look so strung out. He was thrown off by her odd behavior and stood gaping at her. She lifted her hand to his jaw, closing his mouth for him.

"Just don't look freaked out, okay," she added in a soft whisper, fixing his hair just right.

"Okay," she seemed to call, turning her head away from him. He followed her movement with his eyes, up the stairs. His breath caught as he saw a figure step into view.

He couldn't believe his eyes. He couldn't believe what he saw before him, or who.

"Bella?" he asked, mystified; taken aback. He wondered if he finally snapped and simply lost his mind. He could see his family watching him, from his periphery, smiling in anticipation, watching the reunion.

She smiled at him, brilliantly, while taking all too slow of steps down the stairs. He watched her move, taking in every inch of her. She was different. She was like them. He could no longer hear the familiar beating of her heart. His face dropped for an instance at the realization of what this meant,as he glanced over at his father. Carlisle smiled at him, unsure of his reaction.

_It's what she wanted. She doesn't regret me changing her. She's happy.._. He heard Carlisle silently inform him, kindly.

Edward looked back at Bella who, herself, had frozen on the steps, seeing his slip. She studied his face intensely, trying to figure out what he was feeling.

"Edward?" she questioned, too impatient to wait for him to come around on his own. Her voice pulled him to her like a magnet. In an instant he was standing before her, but still hesitant to pull her to him. He had so many questions and concerns, mostly being 'did she really want this life? Or was she just making do with her situation?' He was unsure what to say or do but all he wanted to do was take her in his arms.

He took her face in his hands and was overcome by a powerful wave of relief, practically knocking him over.

"I love you," he said simply, but ardently. Bella smiled and then extended her arm out and opened her fist to reveal a small object, hidden in there.

"I know," she replied with a smile, holding the small plain, normal looking bottle cap out for him.

He took it from her, knowing it instantly.

* * *

Bella waited for her family to bring Edward back to her. Alice had suddenly gone very still and then nearly shook the house with her tiny scream of horror, telling them about what he was planning on doing, thinking Bella was dead. They tried to call him, but of course, he refused to pick up. She couldn't go with them, it was too risky, being a newborn and not able to control herself completely, though the others confessed she was stronger than they had been.

She was going insane waiting for them to get back, fearing the worst, that Edward might allude them.

It was strange, getting used to her new life and new self. She was happy Carlisle had decided to save her after Alice called him, realizing she was in very bad condition upon finding her. Luckily they had heard the crash and came running. Bella had blacked out before they arrived. Had she died instantly, she wouldn't even be there that very minute. She was lucky. It had been an excruciating experience, going through the change, but she thought of Edward to get her through. When she opened her eyes again, everything was different, including the fact that she no longer had a heart beat. There was a lot to process and a lot to get used to but her family had been so responsive and helpful during her transitioning. It was just hard waiting for Edward to get back.

The family was very supportive as she dealt with the loss of her parents and old life. They had to take her car and push it over the cliff, to make it look like she was lost to the sea. No body was found of course but people were able to imagine the worse. Bella felt terrible for the pain she was causing her mother and father, but knew they didn't have a choice. She couldn't go back. She really had died in a sense that day. But she knew her parents would be okay. They had people to take care of them. And she had a family still. A family that clearly loved her a great deal.

They had decided to wait until Edward got back to show him the new Bella instead of telling him over the phone, in case he didn't believe them or had a bad reaction. They knew Edward wanted to be with her but knew he was concerned, that he felt like he was stealing her soul. But they hadn't counted on the last minute change, when he decided to go straight to her house. They had to act fast to cut him off.

Bella felt like that hour was the longest one of her life. She wandered into Edward's room, needing to be close to him. She went through his CD's, putting one of her favorites on. She noticed a book sticking out of the shelf and pulled it out curiously. Inside she found a mess of papers, which she realized were all letters addressed to her, in Edward's perfect handwriting. She wasn't going to read them at first, until she realized they were meant for her.

They were so unbelievable and sweet, some funny and some painfully heartbreaking, the way he spoke of her; his reverence for her.

She found other things, sketches he had done of her. She smiled at his talent, but it wasn't enough to keep her distracted forever. She moved to the window, glancing out hoping to see their car in the distance. She turned back after a few minutes, surveying the room again. That was when a tiny, totally ordinary object caught her attention. She walked over to it and picked it up, examining it thoughtfully. Suddenly all her fears, her anxious thoughts and intruding doubts simply melted away all because of a silly basic bottle top. She smiled down at the dark blue, eyeing the girly heart drawn on the top in black sharpie marker.

Her mind went back to that day, the first day she sat with Edward in the cafeteria. She had picked up a lemonade, making her was through the line with Jessica and Angela. Angela was teasing her sweetly, making Bella blush. She had been so nervous that day, wondering what Edward was thinking or what he might say to her next. Angela smiled at her, making her laugh. Then she quickly pulled out her marker, that she had been using to make labels with the hour before, and drew a simple heart on the top of Bella's lemonade. Ever since she had gotten with Ben, she just wanted to spread the love. She was all for Bella's crush on Edward, encouraging her about it. The heart had been a subtle push from her to stop worrying and go with it.

When Edward had waved Bella over, she could practically hear the squeal inside Angela's mind.

Bella stood in Edward's room, turning the cap over in her fingers, smiling at the faded memory.

He had kept this, this whole time, she thought, shaking her head in elated disbelief. It had taken the souvenir of an ordinary day, in an ordinary school, with an ordinary girl, to convince Bella, finally, that everything was going to be alright now. Edward loved her irrevocably and she loved him.

* * *

"_I love you," he said simply, but ardently. Bella smiled and then extended her arm out and opened her fist to reveal a small object, hidden in there._

"_I know," she replied with a smile, holding the small plain, normal looking bottle cap._

_He took it from her, knowing it instantly._

"I love you, Edward," she said, his eyes shooting up to meet hers as she spoke the sweetest words he had ever heard. She couldn't contain her smile upon seeing his reaction, his perfect incredible smile mirroring her own. She threw herself into his arms, making him stumble back a step.

"Oops," she replied with a laugh.

"You're going to have to take it easy on me, Bella, for a little while," he told her with a chuckle.

"I'm don't know, Edward. I just don't think I can control myself when it comes to you…If you want me to take it easy on you, you might not want to stand so close…" she said, only wrapping herself closer to him, bringing her face close to his. "I'm just saying. You've been warned," she teased, inching her face even closer, smiling seductively.

"I think I'll take my chances," he replied, crushing his lips to hers. He lifted her up, into his arms, deepening the kiss, as their bodies seemed to weld together.

Neither knew how long Emmett had been 'coughing' before they pulled apart, remembering the rest of them.

They looked at their family, who just stood below them, smiling and laughing at the sweet moment. The room was filled with so much love, everyone sensing the beginning of something new. Their family was finally whole.

"I told you Edward," Alice teased. "You never want to bet against me."

* * *

THE END!!!!!!!

I hoped you enjoyed it from start to finish. I'll go through and edit it so it's in top shape and post a revised copy when I'm done. Thanks again for reading and please let me know what you thought of it!


	18. Chapter 18

Author's note:

Hey readers,

I was thinking of adding an epilogue to this one, to kind of wrap this up and tie up a few things I didn't get to explain or touch upon...but I wouldn't expect it right away. I think this is also it for me...early retirement from the ff world. This will be my last fic....at least for a long long time i think. Thank you for reading this one. I do have another twilight one if you haven't read it yet and need something to do. Take care,

Siren


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